[FR] People Are Way More Afraid of You

lesleysnipes · 2016-08-07T23:08:28+00:00

The bit with about the radio...what an awful conversation.

no wonder he reacted like that he wasn't nervous, more thinking what the fuck are you talking about?

Jakei34 · 2016-08-07T19:51:43+00:00

I'd say this is a nice post for those a bit anxious to approach. Thanks

himan235 · 2016-08-08T00:18:06+00:00

Ok man I think we get where your coming from. Your on the track. I knew a guy like this from high school who talked to everyone and cracked jokes at everything. Anytime I saw him working at the super market he'd drop everything and talk loudly to anyone like it was a sitcom. It was weird, he was weird. He had no social boundaries and it was cringey. People will be nice to you since they realize the type of person who does that. Its flamboyant. These people weren't afraid of you, they just didn't really have the high energy to talk back to a stranger who talks to them like they've been best friends for years. Ive had cashiers do this with me at checkout and I knew they were interested by its weird when they come out of their busy shell to act all interested in my business. It kinda makes it sound a little needy or desperate to talk to someone about something unrelated. I get it its like the 1950's Mayberry vibe and everyone talked to everyone about the weather or when the milkman came by this afternoon

_real_rear_wheel · 2016-08-08T21:21:14+00:00

I strut into the cafe, dual katanas strapped to my back. A man, obviously nervous and unaccustomed to the 3D chess of TRP, stands at the back of the line. I approach.

AC: "Have you heard the one about the hot coffee?"

"Huh?" He looks nervous, trembling. Clear beta buck.

AC: "It was hot as hell."

The man is shaking violently, unable to control his anxiety. I chuckle, running a finger on the brim of my trilby.

When I reach the counter, I drop a bagel on it.

"Alright 1 bagel and a small coffee..." He taps the touchscreen register.

AC: "I'm not buying the bagel."

I watch, the barista starts shaking, nervous. He doesn't know how to proceed.

tyrryt · 2016-08-08T05:54:02+00:00

AC: "How is it?" "It's really good." AC: "ok" I let it fall dead on purpose to see what he does. Half expecting him to shift around nervously. To my surprise the tall skinny guy held his frame enjoying his bagel, picked up his coffee, and left. Subconsciously thinking "good job, man" as if the guy could hear my thoughts.

WTF is this nonsense?

Some guy should be "afraid" because some "present in the moment" douchebag asks him how a fucking bagel is - but instead, he did a "good job" because he left?

He "held frame" by saying he likes a bagel? WTF is he supposed to say?

aanarchist · 2016-08-08T04:06:09+00:00

i think a good way to beat anxiety is to realize that other people have anxiety too, a lot more than you'd think, and everyone just like you tries to hide it and wants someone who will be understanding of them etc. just imagine all the dumb shit you say to yourself in your head and multiply it, that's what they have going on in their head. just smile at them and tell them it's ok, that they're doing fine whatever, give them permission to feel comfortable and relax with you.

i think the burly ones will be the most nervous because people tend to avoid them cuz they look scary, and they haven't had to develop social skills cuz they're big and burly. it's a guy who's 6'3 and thinks he has game, his life is on easy mode, his game is weak because he's never actually needed good social skills or wit to succeed. his frame revolves around the fact that people automatically assumes he's an alpha. one rock breaks that glass house.

[deleted] · 2016-08-08T08:45:55+00:00

[permanently deleted]

HiGuysiamkewl · 2016-08-07T20:33:20+00:00

AC: "Are you Sarah?" The two girls look at me not expecting anyone to talk to them. Girl: "No I'm Ashley" AC: [beaming a grin] "I'm meeting Sarah here and thought you were her" Both girls go from blank-faced to smiling back at me. I walked away to a table at the front of the cafe.

I imagine this is what its like to be attractive.

Toolman890 · 2016-08-08T05:24:34+00:00

You sound like you're socially autistic.

URnotRP · 2016-08-07T21:50:46+00:00

What kind of lizard alien person shit is this? Holy crap this sub is atrocious. Dude, your over-analyzing everything in every last social interaction and subconsciously congratulating complete strangers for "maintaining frame" just because they're engaging you in friendly conversation when you're a stranger.

Holy crap man. This is like the "I am also a human being." Method of Red Pill. You opened on those girls but didn't follow up. You didn't say anything about how your date went. TRP is a good guideline but you can't follow it rigidly. You might as well be one of those idiots to go to a PUA class if you're going to follow it this way.

Desertcoyote99 · 2016-08-08T05:23:58+00:00

ITT people cringing at his approaches, SMH its not about the approaches themselves its about the mindset. There are other mindsets that achieve the same goal but OP's just giving us insight into his. Unlike most of you OP wouldn't have a problem going and opening that HB8 sitting in the corner.

pcadrian · 2016-08-08T16:35:51+00:00

people are just not used to anyone coming up to them and confidently striking up a conversation

I just got back from a two week trip to Romania. People there talk to everybody. Relaxed, calm, full eye contact, smiles, the whole spiel. I come back to the States, and the phenomenon you describe is EVERYWHERE. There are a few people that were open to conversation, but most people here in the States seem to suffer from severe anxiety or something.

awalt_cupcake · 2016-08-08T14:17:40+00:00

I like that you actually try to talk to and game on guys as well it's great practice for the real thing. Well played.

FuckyouAvast · 2016-08-08T21:28:46+00:00

I'm in line owning the moment being present in the moment.

By standing in a line waiting for your coffee without panicking? Ladies and gentlemen, a true sage here.

[deleted] · 2016-08-09T12:19:32+00:00

One thing I learned from daygaming a bit is exactly that, girls are more nervous than I am.

The more I approach, the more relaxed I become, the more I notice how nervous they are, the more amused mastery I can display, because I genuinely feel amused by their nervosity.

jeamus-jeamus · 2016-08-08T09:10:36+00:00

Apparently i'm afraid of people if i don't give a shit about some random bloke trying to hit me up with a small talk. Ay, weather is nice. No shit, i have eyes you know? Overly friendly people are suspicious, they are always up to something.

sezamus · 2016-08-07T23:36:28+00:00

Well... in my case (6.1 ft, 218) people are usually afraid of me. First rule I adopted from Mystery that I remember always is "Appear as No Threatning". Everytime I open a girl with cold approach, she's so shocked it actually doesn't matter what I say. Most of them have natural instinct triggered so I have to break the ice quickly "I know I look like a thug but I only want your phone number :)". This also helps me avoid getting into "big and dumb" stereotype, because I know that's what most people think. They wouldn't bet a cent that I'm an industrial engineer with M.Sc. degree.

StuttBuffer · 2016-08-08T12:51:35+00:00

So you went to a cafe to make people uncomfortable so that you can write about it on the internet? That's fucking weird dude.

[deleted] · 2016-08-07T20:21:21+00:00

I mean she was already writing her number, kinda would lose face if she stopped lol. In europe people don't casually talk to strangers, its not that much different here.

Fatboy214 · 2016-08-08T12:03:50+00:00

My best friend is what we would describe as a natural alpha. Dude has always been able to bag tons of pussy. Of course I'm RedPill so i didn't need it explained to me but a bunch of young guys were in awe the other day that my slightly overweight balding buddy banged this nice 22 year old same day and it was kinda a competition between him and this young very in shape friend. So all our young friends are begging him for his secret. He said "I just ask". He said to the young guys do you ever ask? There like no man you can't just ask random girls for sex. And that's literally how my buddy has been with so freaking many hot girls. He said even if they say no they usually get all giggling and give him the number. One thing is certain. They all fucking love it. They love knowing some guy wants there body.

FrameWalker · 2016-08-09T21:03:27+00:00

Congrats you can approach. Keep it up. Not sure what you were aiming for with the title.

Costafarian · 2016-08-12T13:09:12+00:00

Not really understanding the negative reactions to this post. I work in sales and I have to do this same stuff for a living.

Most people who don't want to talk to you will let you know right from the start and that's that. Other folks will attempt to hold a conversation out of politeness, sometimes it doesn't go well. I just lead the conversation into something they enjoy talking about. Basic Dale Carnegie here guys.

This is just basic outcome independence. Nothing wrong with trying to start up conversations with folks. It catches lots of people off guard because not everyone is used to that kind of casual conversation.

Marowak22 · 2016-08-08T02:40:47+00:00

Who cares if they're afraid or not? Talk to people because you want to talk to them, not to see who's got a bigger dick.

wazaaman · 2016-08-09T00:50:57+00:00

So you awkwardly tried to talk to people around the coffee shop and none of them wanted to converse with you and than you dropped the spaghetti in front of two women while "owning the moment"(said as if you've activated a cheat code).

Alright man whatever you say, why is this on my front page btw

reagan2024 · 2016-08-09T02:00:37+00:00

The level of analysis is just ... weird. Just be. And have intent.

notadaddy · Sun Aug 7 20:33:51 2016 UTC

Haha, true. I met my good buddy in Tokyo about 9 years ago. It was my first time there and he was talking to a bunch of girls and asked if I could "help him out". He didn't need help but damn he was surrounded by girls. He is Australian, and we hit it off, LOL. Turns out he wanted to make a movie and I would return to Tokyo to help him finish it. I helped a bit with editing and camera when I could. It's available on a few places online! Also, had lots of adventures in Tokyo over the years.

http://imdb.com/title/tt5301840/

RealMcGonzo · 2016-08-08T03:51:28+00:00

People are way more afraid of you than you are of them.

A bit harsh, IMO. Mostly folks are incapable of starting a decent conversation more than anything, but most want to connect, at least in some trivial way. It's amazing when you get one that really goes. One day I was fat, out of shape, moving, but this cute chick in front of me at the hooch store got carded. Then the (old man) clerk asked for her number. She gave it and I remarked "Give it up, he's not going to call." She laughed and talked about how weird it was giving her number to really young males. The clerk was so turned on, he practically followed me out of the store, chatting me up. Nothing came of this, just wanted to point out that you can have a shitload of fun chatting it up, and make many other folk's day brighter as well. Chat it up with everybody. If nothing else, is good practice.

TheAC997 · 2016-08-08T03:58:29+00:00

I told myself "okay, I'll ask this random employee out. She might say yes, and if she says no, then I just got some practice on approaching, so win-win." It's not like she'd take away my birthday.

massivewang · 2016-08-08T17:07:02+00:00

The book "No More MR. Niceguy" has really been instrumental in my transformation. Part of the book talks about how the niceguy makes decisions based on fear, specifically the fear of failure and or fucking things up.

I realized that I was afraid of how people would react to my decisions when I would say no, I was afraid of how people would feel if I made a decision/did something and they didn't like it, and I was afraid of what would happen if I made a decision and fucked something up.

Anyway what I had to do was force myself to decide/choose/act and be willing to accept the consequences, good or bad. What I found was that 9.9 times out of ten, nothing bad ever materialized. If something did go wrong, it could be easily handled or taken care of and was a minor inconvenience at best.

I think another way of articulating the OPs post is that we are mostly afraid of nothing. 9.9 times out of ten, if you're friendly and talk to a stranger, nothing bad is going to happen. Most of the time they'll even be friendly and reciprocate.

[deleted] · 2016-08-08T18:03:04+00:00

"Opening men could turn into friendships or networking."

It could be the start of something beautiful.

awalt_cupcake · 2016-08-08T18:34:14+00:00

Reading these comments it seems that there are two sides here- one that thinks you are cringey and weird and need to leave people the fuck alone, and one that thinks this is a great method for building confidence and approaching others.

I agree with both. What you're doing is a bit strange, but it doesn't matter. It's just talking to people. The more you talk to people, the more confidence you have in that regard.

Eventually you simply don't need to talk to people anymore. If you actually want to talk to a random person about some shit, see they aren't particularly occupied with anything and go for it. Right now it sounds more like practice and less like enjoying yourself.

But eventually, you'll simply know you can talk to anybody.

Not to mention a lot of people actually appreciate being talked to. I'll start a conversation with somebody while I'm waiting in line or something and they'll seem pretty happy somebody is interacting with them.

I'll give you a tip though- Talk about something general "How's your day going?" or something right there or the environment, like the bagel thing (Which could have gone better but I get that you dropped it on purpose) rather than some random shit like the radio song. Shit, tell a joke. Just make sure they'll know what the fuck you are talking about.

cashmoney_x · 2016-08-11T12:30:12+00:00

"I'm in line owning the moment."

Oh ffs.

p00pey · 2016-08-08T16:02:06+00:00

DOUCHE CHILLLLLLLLLLL

Listen faggot, this ain't 1956 middle america. Out here in the big city, dudes don't make small talk with eachother. Maybe if I'm drinking a beer watching sports in a bar and some dudebro strikes up a sports conversation, no problem. It's dude talk, it's sports, we're in the right environment. Even then it'll be fairly brief tbh.

Some faggot asking me how my bagel is would be met with a weird look like, GTFO, let me worry about my bagel. The radio piece, I'm not even sure how I'd react, but it wouldn't be anything positive, and would have nothing to do with fearing you...

I'm gonna go ahead and guess you're like 22 years old or something. Don't overanalyze things too much douche. And don't overplay your hand about talking to bros at a coffee shop or whatever. That aint' gonna do shit for approach anxiety. Try opening a girl about the 'this is your brain on drugs' commercial you saw on tv last night and see where it goes..

empatheticapathetic · 2016-08-07T21:06:13+00:00

Good post. I have never cold approached really (sorting other life stuff out before focusing on girls) but it's not hard to talk to someone randomly. As long as you have something to open with then it'll go fine. And I don't mean a canned opener, I mean you are able to start a conversation. I work in retail and my confidence fluctuates constantly. Sometimes I'm confident as fuck and have great interactions with people. Sometimes I just can't bear it and it's really hard to do basic shit.

Redhotpengy · Tue Aug 9 2:34:47 2016 UTC

Wtf? The dumbest post I've seen on red pill. ITT OP extroverts hard and anyone who doesn't want to talk to him are weak.

DDOS_Feeler · 2016-08-08T17:24:49+00:00

What the fuck have I been running my whole life?

Good read, thank you!

cashmoney_x · 2016-08-11T12:45:20+00:00

"People are way more afraid of you than you are of them."

If you say that to everyone it falls apart since they are everyone else's "people" if that makes sense.

Title	[FR] People Are Way More Afraid of You
Author	awalt_cupcake
Upvotes	127
Comments	114
Date	August 7, 2016 7:31 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/4wmavx/fr_people_are_way_more_afraid_of_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/fr-people-are-way-more-afraid-of-you.61339 https://theredarchive.com/post/61339

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