Since FWB and casual sex seem to be the hot topic of today, naturally STD's became a common theme in the comments of these posts, and inevitably, herpes was mentioned and I got in a typical back and forth with someone about education about this virus, statistics, stigma, and why herpes is one of the least troubling things about the conversation surrounding casual sex. There are a multitude of STD's that cause life altering effects, that could have been used in this person's argument, but herpes was chosen, as it frequently always is due to the stigma and it being the butt of all sex and STD jokes throughout history.

I would hope that this sub, being rooted in education, empowerment, feminism, and recognzing self worth, would be the last place that would happily host the stigma surrounding this very common and frequently misunderstood virus.

Let me start, before I get into science and statistics, by saying that I have HSV1, which is Herpes Type 1, that I got in a commited relationship with my ex, and I got it about one year into the relationship. No cheating or lying was involved in me getting it. I was 21 years old at the time, blissfully in love with a good person, and neither of us knew anything about what herpes actually was besides brief discussions in those awkward sex ed classes that we received in southern USA. Which, frankly, aren't very in depth or effective, and tend to focus on an Abstinence Only approach to to things.

Herpes Type 1 (HSV1) is the culprit of oral herpes, commonly referred to as cold sores, fever blisters, and sometimes canker sores. This is where the misinformation and social problems with this virus starts, as these alternative names for herpes are exactly what shield many from knowing they have herpes at all. Many, many people get this virus when they are babies or children, from family kissing their faces when they are young. Very few parents know enough to educate their children about this virus, beyond maybe the advice to refrain from kissing someone and spreading it to them, and even that is frequently never discussed.

HSV1 can also be transmitted genitally through oral sex. Most people are not aware of this and take no precautions with their partners, purely out of ignorance.

Some facts provided by the World Health Organization:

Key facts

The herpes simplex virus, or herpes, is categorized into 2 types: herpes simplex virus type 1 (HSV-1) and herpes simplex virus type 2 (HSV-2).

HSV-1 is mainly transmitted by oral-to-oral contact to cause oral herpes (which can include symptoms known as “cold sores”), but can also cause genital herpes.

HSV-2 is a sexually transmitted infection that causes genital herpes.

Both HSV-1 and HSV-2 infections are lifelong.

An estimated 3.7 billion people under age 50 (67%) have HSV-1 infection globally.

An estimated 417 million people aged 15-49 (11%) worldwide have HSV-2 infection.

Most oral and genital herpes infections are asymptomatic. (no symptoms or blisters at all)

Symptoms of herpes include painful blisters or ulcers at the site of infection.

Herpes infections are most contagious when symptoms are present but can still be transmitted to others in the absence of symptoms.

Infection with HSV-2 increases the risk of acquiring and transmitting HIV infection.

https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/herpes-simplex-virus

Many women on this sub likely have one of the two types of herpes. Most men you encounter in the world will have one of the two types, HVM and LVM alike. Many of them did not get herpes from sexual contact, but it is good to be informed that sexual contact is a factor in spreading it.

Please keep this in mind when you are making statements on this sub, particularly when it comes to casual sex and STD's. Herpes is not tested for in a standard STD check. It typically requires a sample gathered from an active sore or a pricey blood test to medically determine its precense with 100% certainty. It is highly stigmatized and typically the stigma is the worst thing about this virus. Physically, it causes very little to no effect on a person's quality of life, unlike other much more serious STD's such as HPV, which is highly common, or HIV. If you're going to use STD scare tactics as part of your argument for why "no sex before marriage" is the way to go, please do so from an informed place.

Ella Dawson is a young woman who went viral a few years ago for her article on herpes and has launched a very successful writing career based on her fame. She has an excellent Ted Talk if anyone is interested:

https://youtu.be/YcIl-hclrLI