AITA for disowning my brother for abandoning a girl after getting her pregnant?

24,596 points•2,480 comments•submitted by anonymouss_throwaway to r/AmItheAsshole24

Throw away because some of my friends know my reddit account and I want to keep this as private as possible. Sorry if the answer seems obvious, but I've had so much backlash Im starting to question myself.

I am f25, my brother is m22. He lives with me since he moved out of our parents house, reasons are irrelevant. I came home to find him with his buddies in my home, getting wasted. I was pissed because he never asked if he could have people over ("Im an adult OP, I can do what I want"). Apparently he and his friends were throwing a "bullet dodged" party.

He had been seeing this girl for a bit. She texted him letting him know that she was pregnant, but planning to abort the baby. She asked if he could financially help her pay for the operation. He. Blocked. Her. I was horrified. Apparently he and his brilliant friends decided that she had lied about taking birth control, because "Its impossible for women to get pregnant if they're on the pill." ….. right.

I was livid. I was completely disgusted not only by their ignorance towards birth control and safe sex, but by the fact that he would block a girl and leave her completely on her own to handle a problem that he was at least 50% responsible for. I told him, in these exact words "pack your shit and get the fuck out" Obviously more than this has happened in the past, but this was my breaking point. I had tried so hard to bend over backwards for my baby brother. House him when he was homeless, help him get a job, give him rides... only for him to turn out like that? Nope. So anyways, he and his friends stood there like they didn't think I was serious. I said again, "all of you get the fuck out. I don't want to see any of you here again."

Here's where I'm possibly the asshole. I told him in no uncertain terms that he needed to collect his things and leave. If he was old enough to make big-boy decisions, he was old enough to find a place on his own. He straight up said no. So I lost my temper. I grabbed as much of his stuff as I could, crammed it into a suitcase, and put/threw the suitcase outside. I shouted that if he didn't leave I would call the police. Fast forward tears and begging, he was finally out. That night I got several messages that I was heartless for making him homeless. They pregnancy wasn't his fault because: 1) it was an accident. 2) they weren't a serious couple so he has no reason to help her. 3) she should have been more careful. I called bull, and said I would never allow someone with that sick mindset live under my roof. I said that he is not my brother and I don't want anything to do with him. My parents, my aunts, and some cousins are with me, but that leaves about 3/4 of the family against me. They think that I should support him because he is my brother, I should have given him time (he's not on the lease btw, and he was supposed to pay rent but often didn't), and the punishment just didn't fit the crime.

so reddit, am I the asshole?

EDIT: so I didn’t think this would get as much traction. I’ve already seen some comments about it, and gotten some PMs, so Im gonna address this now. I only posted this to find out if I was TA for how I handled it. If I am TA, fine. So be it. But I don’t care what your views on abortion are, or how you don’t think he’s responsible for her pregnancy. So please do not comment if you’re just going to tell me about how abortion is sinful.

EDIT 2: I cam currently trying to track the girl down. She is an old work colleague of his, and Im trying to find his old coworkers to figure out her contact info and see if I can help in any way.