LVM never change.

notbasic4karen · 2020-07-08T08:10:49+00:00

I have a story like this. Dated a guy in my teens. He was my first bf, first guy I slept with. This guy lies constantly. If he told you it was raining out, I’d recommend checking for yourself because he’s probably lying. In other words, he would lie about everything, all the time, even dumb things. He was constantly manipulating me. He did the “blue balls” speech and me being a naive teenage girl, I fell for it and would sleep with him. I’m a person with a lot of empathy and it’s easy to get taken advantage of. He was constantly manipulating me about everything.

When I broke off with him, he flew into a narcissistic rage. The police officer at school had to get involved and everything because he was almost ready to get violent. It was absolutely terrifying. He ruined my reputation by spreading lies that I was cheating. Even to this day, he will fly off the handle to anyone who asks about how I’m a whore who cheated and left him. He conveniently leaves out the part where he was verbally, emotionally and physically abusive.

CharTheCatMom · 2020-07-08T11:10:04+00:00

You're right. They never change.

Okay so here's my story: I have a soon to be ex husband who was a porn addict our entire relationship. I spent years giving him self help books to read, YouTube videos, he was going to SA weekly,, heart to heart talks and he really in his heart believed he was in recovery.

Then all of a sudden, the pandemic happened and he used that as an excuse to stop going to SA meetings. But this man claimed to be in recovery, would cry and get angry whenever I would bring up his "past" because "I'm not that person anymore."

I admitted myself to the hospital (had a breakdown) and even on the phone while I was in the damn hospital he continued to claim he "wasn't that person anymore."

Within two weeks of me being released from the hospital, I caught him watching adult anime videos. This man looked me dead in my eyes and said "BUt ItS noT POrn..." Okay sir.

Now we're getting a divorce. These men are depraved, professional gaslighters and I refuse to fall for the okky doke again. All that crying and anger means nothing. These men are literal sociopaths.

nymphaetamine · 2020-07-08T11:06:42+00:00

He kept trying to push marriage on me saying I should forgive a mistake

Lol it's 2020 dude, we're not calling conscious choices "mistakes" anymore. A mistake is turning too tight and hitting a curb. Cheating and lying are calculated, deliberate choices made out of a sociopathic lack of empathy and decency.

SunflowerinVirgo0903 · 2020-07-08T07:43:30+00:00

He sounds like a narcissist.

honeybeeroll · 2020-07-08T09:50:02+00:00

Unfortunately I honestly don't even think anyone would diagnose him w/ a medical condition bc so many men act like this - entitled, opportunistic pieces of shit.

" I guess he thought lying to me one more time was worth a shot, why not." just about sums it up. He's an immoral, self serving person who feels entitled to women and definitely does not see us as real people, and who sees no problem lying to get what he wants.

I guess maybe you could go with sociopath, but tbh men are raised to have at the very least, mild sociopathic tendencies anyway, and this lying though their teeth bevahior so common that it's like his diagnosis is he's an NVM 😂

EDIT: good for you on getting the hell away from that!! Congrats and only good things now, right :p!

whendovescry2020 · 2020-07-08T07:04:55+00:00

I have came across LVM like this all my life. What would I diagnose him with ? narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy. Even recently I came across guy that I went on a date then he ghosted me. Suddenly he reappears saying he had girlfriend (I didn’t know and he lied about being single ) and he felt guilty going on date with me. But he said he misses me and still wanted to see me . I made it clear I had no interest in that and blocked him. Men like him never change and I would block him and have no contact . That’s why I leave the dating apps alone . So many like that on there no matter how much you vet them. You can do everything right and still . They enjoy making you upset and lying. I wouldn’t even bother talking to him .

Elegant-Stop · 2020-07-08T07:15:11+00:00

The immediate return to tinder indicates a lack of self love and desperation of validation through sex. He would have cheated again. So glad you escaped.

MakeURegret · 2020-07-08T12:38:55+00:00

radically monogamous

What even if this phrase why do we need to add “radically” to it?!? What in the world.

whereas he considers himself a man of supreme self-control.

Says the man who was on tinder....

CaliforniaKed · 2020-07-08T12:09:39+00:00

I vote for Character Disturbed. Does he have trouble with authority or holding a job? Being late? If you’re looking for answers, Character Disturbed - The Phenomenon of Our Age by George K Simon nails the compulsive lying and entitlement.

Milobear27 · 2020-07-08T13:46:22+00:00

I took screenshots of his profile to remind me what a scumbag he is, blocked him on Tinder, then went and blocked him literally everywhere else.

Yes keep reminders!
I probably would have sent him the screenshot with laughing emojis then blocked.
This boy is a damn mess!

yegerska · 2020-07-08T15:54:06+00:00

Gosh. My ex did similar shit. He would lie even when presented with evidence, without even flinching. I’m so glad I don’t have to deal with that shit anymore, these people are completely narcissistic and antisocial

Happycatchariot · 2020-07-08T15:29:02+00:00

🏆 I am so proud of you.

RadarFemef · 2020-07-08T16:05:57+00:00

You are so much better off without him in your life. He’s scum

paperbagskirt · 2020-07-08T12:07:28+00:00

He sounds extremely desperate for attention and validation. I think that’s why most cheaters cheat in the first place. Clearly he has not changed and I’m very glad you’re moving on, though I know what a mindfck it is when someone looks you right in the face and lies like that. Take a little bit to get your bearings. So glad you’re doing the right thing long term by leaving him in the past.

InayahDaneen · 2020-07-08T19:13:03+00:00

They never change. They just try to test the waters with you one more time to see how much they can get away with the second time around or how much respect you hold for yourself to allow them back in.

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subtlecuttlefish · 2020-07-12T23:25:10+00:00

Yeah, I have a story. Was with my ex for nearly four years, the last half year he started getting extremely distant and stopped putting the effort in or responding to texts and messages (despite being constantly on his phone). I ended it as soon as I found out he was sexting other girls.

Same as you I had two long compassionate heart-to-heart talks after the breakup while we were sorting out shared assets. I wasn't going back and straight up told him so. He told me he'd had a porn addiction for years that he hadn't told me about and claimed it had escalated from liking Instagram girls to messaging girls he knew, and he felt ashamed/couldn't stop. I told him (and sincerely meant it) that he needed to get help and speak to some friends about these issues, that they would understand and support him but that I couldn't do it because he'd destroyed my trust by cheating. That I wanted him to get better, I wanted him to break free of his addiction as it was obviously causing him harm. He said that it had caused him to lose the love of his life and he would never ever touch it again, it made him feel sick.

I blocked him on everything and peaced out.

Found out from one of my best girlfriends he'd been liking Instagram models sexy shots days after we broke up. She wasn't going to mention it, but then he started messaging her excessively a couple of months later and even sent her a "wish you were here" message, which she felt obligated to let me know about (SOLID FRIEND). That shut down really quickly when she purposefully started talking about her plans with her boyfriend 😂

So yeah, I honestly hoped he had learnt from it and changed going forwards. But LVM don't change their ways. Bullet dodged.

Title	LVM never change.
Author	mangolime0
Upvotes	142
Comments	29
Date	July 8, 2020 6:22 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/hnbwy8/lvm_never_change/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/lvm-never-change.705099 https://theredarchive.com/post/705099

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