Cut off “friend with benefits” of three years five months ago and he contacted me again - what’s his motive?

letsberealforamoment · 2020-07-12T15:32:46+00:00

His motive is to use you for his personal benefit (sex, validation, money, etc). He doesn't care about you as a person. Only what you can do for him at the particular moment.

The more interesting question is what YOUR MOTIVE in being a doormat for this loser?

Sage_Planter · 2020-07-12T15:35:21+00:00

His motive is he wants to get laid. The best thing you can do is block him again and keep him blocked for good this time.

Find a man who is genuinely excited about you and who would proudly make you his girlfriend. This man is only interested in your body.

arwenagon24999 · 2020-07-12T15:35:24+00:00

His motive is an ego stroke/sex. Block, delete, next!

jesza09 · 2020-07-12T16:05:47+00:00

His motive is sex, that’s pretty much every mans motive for anything ever.

gracefullrose · 2020-07-12T15:35:46+00:00

I can't imagine that he has changed at all but saw you were available for sex again so it going to try whatever it takes to get you in bed. Don't expect him to suddenly have feelings beyond getting his willy wet.

If you decide to meet him do it only in a public place with no opportunities for contact (which in these days of Covid should be a no-brainer) But it seems like a waste of your time and emotions to let him close to you again.

giftofnocondemnation · 2020-07-12T16:15:11+00:00

He wants free sex and whatever else you give him. He is taking advantage of you, because you do have a heart for him. He doesn't have a heart for you, just a dick. Dicks are a dime a dozen. He is going to keep hurting you if you let him in your life. Cut your losses with him. You deserve so much better.

redbirdflies · 2020-07-12T17:08:48+00:00

Sis, you need to pour through the handbook and read it in its entirety, particularly the ‘psychological strategies, red flags and break up sections

He just wants to get his dick wet, nothing more. If he cared about you, trust me, you would know. You wouldn’t have to ask us any questions.

Block him everywhere, immediately.

Again, READ THE HANDBOOK. Tighten up those boundaries and level the fuck up

I’m sorry you’re struggling love, we are here for you

Unlikely-Marzipan · 2020-07-12T17:13:20+00:00

I know it’s hard when you have feelings for someone. BUT you really need to look at how someone is treating you, and act on that, rather than your feelings for them.

It’s taken me far too long to realise that your feelings for a man mean jack. If he’s treating you like rubbish, and you have feelings that you place too much emphasis on, it’s a dangerous situation.

I know you don’t want to hear it, but I promise you he has not changed. He just wants sex and and ego boost from knowing he’s still got you around. He probably brags to his friends about how he’s stringing you along and can treat you like a piece of shit, and get you to do anything he wants.

He is using you.

I’m so sorry to say this. A guy that treats you like crap for three years does NOT change. I’ve been there so many times. You’re just wanting the validation from him because it feels nice to be wanted, but he will pull the rug from under you again and you will feel even worse about yourself and long for that feeling of being wanted again - it’s a viscous cycle.

He’s a fuckboy. They all work from the same script.

You know deep down what to do. You sound like you do, and you’re smart. I hope you listen to the advice here, and save yourself another three years of heartbreak and basically abuse. He will wear you to the ground. Don’t waste your 20s on douchebags like him! There are so many men in the world.

buttofdog · 2020-07-12T16:52:18+00:00

No, he just misses attention/sex from you. Don't fall into his trap. My exes have been contacting me at times too, usually when they're bored or their peepee feels lonely.

Summerisle7 · 2020-07-12T16:37:00+00:00

His motive is to get “benefits” again from you. This is not hard. You know what to do, Queen!

Parking-Act · 2020-07-12T16:57:37+00:00

caught feelings like how can you npt if you're willingly having sex with someone you trust and have a degree of care for. That whole line is meant to shame woman and make women robotic sex dolls.

thebrooklynt · 2020-07-12T15:21:23+00:00

Please don’t roast me too hard 🤣 I’m looking for advice or thoughts on the situation and/or if I should see him again- obviously I wouldn’t put up with any crap again

seashells47711 · 2020-07-12T17:31:53+00:00

FWB always come back. It has nothing to do with you. It has to do with the fact that you are giving him sex and he has to put in literally no effort to get the sex. I've been in similar situations where the fwb's friends try and hook up with me as well. The friends try it because they know how easy you are. All these men are trash. Please drop them. For the love of God you deserve better. Block him and all his friends and don't look back, ever. FWB never work..

fortnitehead · 2020-07-12T17:08:11+00:00

You can do better

Title	Cut off “friend with benefits” of three years five months ago and he contacted me again - what’s his motive?
Author	thebrooklynt
Upvotes	13
Comments	29
Date	July 12, 2020 3:13 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/hpvxfm/cut_off_friend_with_benefits_of_three_years_five/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/cut-off-friend-with-benefits-of-three-years-five.712786 https://theredarchive.com/post/712786

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