Thread on detecting lies and infidelity

ShieldMaidenLagertha · 2020-07-06T23:49:04+00:00

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Saitschik · 2020-07-06T23:54:57+00:00

When my father cheated on my mother in retrospect the most visible sign was that he was tense and in a bad mood way more often and started to criticize her for everything.

2020-07-07T00:44:32+00:00

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SunflowerinVirgo0903 · 2020-07-07T00:52:35+00:00

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whenthecagedbirdsing · 2020-07-07T00:23:11+00:00

This was lengthy and helpful. My ex was low value and definitely has tried to pull some of this shit. Toward the end it seemed like I was the only one trying to save the relationship. But he was done mentally and he ended the relationship. Then posted some new girl a month later on his social media. 🤡 I’m such a clown but I know better now.

2020-07-07T00:37:20+00:00

Someone who pressures you to make a decision quickly never has what’s best for YOU in mind.

emgrant8 · 2020-07-07T00:40:44+00:00

Holy shit was this detailed. Thank you for the work you put into this!! I did have to laugh though at the possibility of him getting carpal tunnel because of texting a mistress. That would be quite the way to be found out to be cheater.

Rebirthed_Queen · 2020-07-07T01:26:05+00:00

This post is incredible. Thank you, u/NecessaryCook.

"Seems to despise doing anything that will benefit you and not him" and "feels 'unappreciated' despite not doing shit" KILLED me. I will remember these whenever I happen to think of a certain NVM in the future. I cared for him, praised him, and built him up because that's how I treat my friends? My reward? Not respect, but this attitude, complaints, and complete disregard for my time, energy, and possessions I lent him. '

"He talks a big game about spirituality, religion, or doing the right thing. Anyone worth his salt wouldn't be talking about it, but embodying goodness. If he has to make a show of being good or religious, just now he has things he is hiding, guaranteed.

This was my downfall as a naive university student with no relationship experience. He constantly reminded me of his struggles and his "devout" religious belief. Told me after we became friends that initially when he met me he was trying to see if I was "religious enough" compared to another girl for him to have a relationship with. I brushed so many instances of disrespect because of his social awkwardness, poor mental health, and what he said about his religious beliefs; if I had realized this, I could have cut him off within the first month instead of seven later.

DallasOMalley · 2020-07-07T01:27:07+00:00

Conflicting explanations might be another red flag.

I have an ex who'd been chatting with his ex (when he and I were together) and waited like a year to mention they'd been communicating. I made a point of asking him, on two different occasions, why he'd waited to mention it. The first time, he said he forgot to mention it. The second time, he said he thought he'd told me they were talking.

Edit: I never did find out if he was cheating, but obviously one of his excuses was a lie, and why lie if it was just innocent conversation?

skyerippa · 2020-07-07T02:05:58+00:00

Ugh like all of these were my ex. Painful to read

GraveyardH2020 · 2020-07-07T02:41:48+00:00

I’ve got two:

Calls you by another woman’s name in bed

After you snoop through his phone because you had suspicions and find him talking about his sex life with another woman, he tells you it’s just a joke and you didn’t see the rest of the thread. When you ask to see the rest of the thread to confirm his side, he deletes it 🙄🙄🙄

EffectiveHoneydew422 · 2020-07-08T10:41:12+00:00

My step father said this ALL the time “I won’t even dignify that with an answer” when confronted AND “Are you done berating me?” Or “have you finished assassinating my character “ Oh and a great way to tell if your bf is cheating is they stop jabbing you in the back with their boner in the middle of the night when they want sex. 🤣

Tank10030 · 2020-07-07T01:18:12+00:00

Can someone go a little in depth as to what it means to keep your values and standards secret please? What are some examples we can say when asked “what are you looking for in a relationship?”

munissa · 2020-07-07T01:24:23+00:00

Yup. This. All of this. Thank you for writing it all out.

jointsbeforesex · 2020-07-07T05:49:56+00:00

Ooohh geeez. I stay single then. Thank you for the info.

breadandbunny · 2020-07-07T06:23:28+00:00

I feel like it's not even worth it. This is just all too common. I'll just die alone, then.

nymphaetamine · 2020-07-08T06:49:33+00:00

I'd like to add one unless it's in there & I just missed it;

Always wants to know exactly what time you're coming over or what time you'll be home if you live together. Alternately, insists on tracking each other's locations for "safety" but really just wants to know when he has to put away the porn or close out his chats.

phantorgasmic · 2020-07-07T20:16:42+00:00

Oh my GOSH I am so happy you name dropped Derrick Jaxn, I have SO many videos of his saved in what is essentially my ‘validation playlist’ on YouTube!

Derrick Jaxn, what’s happenin’!

darling89 · 2020-07-07T13:33:04+00:00

This is such a good post 🤝

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