Got lunch with a girl and it seemed it went fairly well. Invited her again via text and she never responded. What's the best way to handle that if I see her again in person?

SirKolbath · 2018-12-23T15:21:19+00:00

“Oh. Hi.” Then more or less ignore her. Don’t be or act butthurt. She lost out. You dodged a bullet.

passepar2t · 2018-12-23T15:43:24+00:00

You have to stop yourself from being offended. Flaking is the default setting for most men and women.

If you run into her irl, greet her in a neutrally pleasant manner, then continue on with your day.

Do not tell her that you got upset over her flaking. It's not going to make you feel better, it's not going to make her apologize or become interested in you. She probably already forgot about your message.

Any time you think about her, force yourself to think about something else, after a little while, this gets way easier.

throwitdownman · 2018-12-23T17:13:13+00:00

Holy smokes, do not send that text. I don’t even know you and you are giving me severe creepy vibes. Will you also send this as a email if a future employer denies you an interview and never replies? What if a friend ignores your text?

She did not respond AFTER having met with you because she is not interested in you. Which is fine. I think she’s not replying because she’s afraid of your reactions. She might be batshit insane, or you’re too uptight. The truth is probably somewhere in the middle.

I do not think it’s as simple as her being a ass and flaking. That usually happens before a chick meets up. Seen this happen a million times. You’re gave weird vibes, she felt it. The end, this ship has sailed. Move on.

btrpb · 2018-12-23T15:39:33+00:00

Delete her number from your phone and find something else to you.

Here's a fact for you from here on forwards: girls are going to ghost you.

If you get offended every time you're gonna spend a lot of time offended. She's moved on with her life and ain't thinking about you. So stop thinking about her.

pilipinonguci11 · 2018-12-23T16:41:17+00:00

, "you know, if you recall I sent you a text and got no reply or acknowledgement. I think you must be a wonderful person based on my interactions with you. But I must admit I felt somewhat disrespected by that."

Saying that is incredibly try-hard and needy as fuck. That will almost guarantee that she will want nothing to do with you ever again. Just say "hey" if you see her again. If she's interested in hanging out again, she'll initiate contact

vajav · 2018-12-23T16:57:38+00:00

You should send her flowers and apologize for anything you might have done to upset her.

/s

treehauz · 2018-12-23T18:36:11+00:00

If it's not a fuck yes, it's a no!

[deleted] · 2018-12-23T16:45:32+00:00

You are needy. The date didn't go very well obviously since she did not respond to you. You did not attract her. Deal with it by gaming other chicks. Don't be needy like you are showing this in your post

KilluaKanmuru · 2018-12-23T18:51:54+00:00

Dude you gotta be like Jay-Z. Jay-Z & anyone baller has a fuckton of better shit to do forreal. You gotta be like the Sun. She's the moon. She reflects your light man. The Sun don't give a fuck about the moon. But, the moon can bask in the sun because the sun doesn't want shit from anybody. Pure abundance man.

hazaraMoghul · 2018-12-23T16:36:39+00:00

"I was thinking of just being honest and communicating my thoughts " u fuking blue pill bitch. wat next, cry on the phone and let her know how much of your manhood is hurt by her.

fuk off u bitch..

omega_dawg93 · 2018-12-23T22:22:37+00:00

she had other options... and chose them over you.

no big deal. just forget her... completely.

have an abundance mentality and pursue your purpose. there WILL BE more women.

Hide_yo_girl · 2018-12-23T23:47:33+00:00

OP is a little whining beach

woodquest · 2018-12-24T03:44:22+00:00

Man there are 1001 reasons to flake, and only 1 not to.

She might be more into someone else, or her granma just died.

Not your problem. Not your fault. Those creatures act out of feels. Might as well have been your left eyebrow remembered her about her creepy uncle, you won't know and you don't want to know the fuck is on her crazy mind.

When a girl wants to reach you, hell she does and there can be no doubt about it.

When not, hell you don't.

It's either she serves your purpose from the start, or she never will and it's pure loss.

You don't.

You next. x10

Neil1398 · 2018-12-23T17:24:21+00:00

Act like nothing happened. you shouldn't be OFFENDED.

What the actual fuck.

You were lame. Getting lunch with a woman is lame. Get over yourself. She owes you no explanation.

The correct way to think about this is that she missed out. But adding on that, don't take women to lunch. And don't be offended if they don't respond. It doesn't affect you or your purpose. Who cares.

jsphere256 · 2018-12-23T17:16:45+00:00

She was rude to do that. If this was your only interaction with her then you shouldn't make any effort to see her IRL, and if you bump into her pretend you don't know her

red_matrix · 2018-12-23T17:23:52+00:00

Welcome to modern dating. Girls are mostly ghosts and flakes these days, Tinder and Insta give them unlimited attention and the illusion that the next guy is Mr. Perfect.

furcryingoutloud · 2018-12-23T18:53:11+00:00

Your expectations are too high. Nobody gives a fuck about them. As you shouldn't be giving a fuck about it either. What you're thinking makes you look really petty. Respect is earned, not demanded.

tilleuno · 2018-12-24T02:22:49+00:00

This behavior / emotion in general results from outcome dependency. Aim to cultivate some awareness in your future interactions where you have less of an emotional attachment or expectation towards the outcome in situations. It's going to help you, your heart, the girl and eventually.. your dick.

The more you practice neutrality towards outcomes, the better you are going to get and cooler you are going to become. Slowly it will bleed into your subconscious, and you will start to give off a vibe that women will pick up on.

cafeitalia · 2018-12-23T15:41:27+00:00

Next time do not ask a women if she wants to do something with you. Tell them to do it. Asking is a sissy behavior, telling and demanding is a man behavior.

And next time you see her act like you don't even remember the text. Do not greet her unless she greets you first. If she greets you first have a short chat and never bring up the text then say your byes. If she doesn't greet you first move on.

hazaraMoghul · 2018-12-23T16:38:29+00:00

Answer: u r too of a puussy, a girl has flaked on you and you are too invested in her. Plz read the side bar before i find you and bitch slap you.

zboo1h · 2018-12-23T17:40:17+00:00

No response. Stop investing your mental energy into nothing. Don't you have other options? Don't you have anything else to invest your energy in besides potential and temporary access to some holes?

icecruzader · 2018-12-23T17:54:00+00:00

If you do happen to run into her pretend you don't know who she is.

kellykebab · 2018-12-23T18:06:54+00:00

You might be OFFENDED (why the shouting?), but you should probably just get used to getting ghosted. I often don't get replies to texts from guys that I semi-regularly play squash with. I usually just assume they were busy.

Getting lunch is a super low stakes, inherently boring date. You just didn't inspire a connection, so the girl doesn't feel obligated to stay in contact. This should be mildly annoying at most.

raflord · 2018-12-23T19:08:08+00:00

What I’m about to tell you worked for me with a few girls before but it really depends how your specific situation is but here it goes.

If you see her in person you should act like life has been absolutely amazing don’t specifically say that unless you want to but carry yourself as if it’s been really good. Show her that your better than her. Smile, have confidence, but don’t give her attention. Talk for a quick minute have a quick small convo “hey how’s it goin” “good seeing you” etc but keep it SHORT. Once she sees your not effected or doing better than she is, she’ll be back. Don’t burn the bridge she’ll either come back to you soon or in the future if she wants.

Just pretend it didn’t happen but don’t forget that she thought she was too good for you at one point. So basically don’t give more than you receive

masterbaterchief · 2018-12-23T19:16:34+00:00

Dude, if you want to game women, you're going to have to get used to that kind of behavior. Otherwise, you will always be disappointed. Women are finicky creatures most of the time. I've had bitches flake on me after good dates with kissing. I've had bitches flake on me after dates that led to sex. I've flaked on bitches after sex. Get used to it, bud. You'll be okay. Move on to the next one, brother. Don't take things personal.

T-P-T-W-P · 2018-12-23T21:58:38+00:00

I’ll give a response that expands upon “don’t be a pussy”. Which I’m sorry, is the shortcut answer here. I can understand that it’s frustrating when you think something goes well. When I’m trying to establish new, particularly ones of higher value, women, I’ll play what I think are all the right cards and even fuck the hell out of them sometimes and they still next me. But it’s only for a split second do I think “damn I could’ve been in a pussy that I liked more but now I won’t ”. Then it’s right on to the next one. Justify it as one, you make yourself less attractive by getting shook by it in regards to both her and theoretically other women where this behavior may reoccur. And two, if they ghost you, fuck em, weren’t worth it anyway. I’ve had very attractive chicks do anything and everything I want to and for me. I’ve also had average chicks ghost me straight away. Every time you try with a female, obviously there are some mainstay factors but it’s still a new game in a new arena. There are chicks hotter than that one that will fuck you and there are uglier ones who won’t give you a shot. Keep your chin up and practice abundance mentality/trial and error. Ball out in ways that she’ll notice if you’re around her a lot as you sort of indicate. You’ll not only get the satisfaction/rewards of being dope and her missing out, maybe she’ll reconsider and accept plate status.

walawalawa · 2018-12-24T00:23:53+00:00

Two things: 1. I used to get offended by flaking. It took a few years to get to a point where I would screen girls so they wouldn't flake.

Being "offended"--yea I also used to be like that. Now I've stopped caring. It's taken several years and a lot of reading and practicing game to adopt the abundance mentality. When you do that a girl's stupid behaviours won't bother you. You'll be too busy.

In this case...drop it and move on.

Thisismybot8 · 2018-12-24T01:09:24+00:00

Don't be "OFFENDED". Hold frame. Shit happens, move on.
Ignore her if you want to ignore her.

Mugdad · 2018-12-24T02:37:21+00:00

Damn

2comment · 2018-12-24T02:39:35+00:00

I sent a single message quite some time ago asking if she'd like to go again.

I stopped that long ago for multiple reasons but the closest analogy I can come up with is you know how annoying it's to be a customer some place, and then they have you fill out a survey on the experience? It kinda feels like that to her.

Either make a joke if you can make her laugh or tease her, or have something concrete for her to show up for and tell her to be there. If they don't show up, got your answer and move on.

bradtwo · 2018-12-24T03:14:28+00:00

Don’t even bring it up. That’s the move my friend. Act like it wasn’t a big deal. Then invite her our to join you on something you already wanted to do. This way it’s zero pressure for her . She isn’t obligated to go. Since you’re already going anyways.

Mystery covered this is great detail some years back.

900_year_old_vampire · 2018-12-23T17:32:15+00:00

got it all wrong, hombre. why are you taking women you arent sleeping with on dates? why are you chasing them instead of getting them to chase you? why are you getting offended by things they do? why do you feel the need to "handle" anything, why not just holler at one of your other girlfriends instead? why would you think it would be a good idea to put her on the spot with your cringy "based on our interactions together you must be a wonderful person but i admit i feel disrespected".. why are you showing your cards at all, why are you considering acting like an emotionally invested pussy when you know it makes you look like a faggot, why do you care about any of this anyway? jesus

you need more women in your life mate, when you have 10-15 in rotation at any given time youll care a lot less about what any particular one does. you wana know what happened here? pretty much everything you said and did has put a beacon on you that screams "loser", thats what happened

unptitdej · 2018-12-23T18:58:44+00:00

This makes everyone mad as hell, trust me. That's how ugly it's become, but yea you have to say Hi, wait and never look back.

UncleChido · 2018-12-23T19:21:32+00:00

Where the fuck is your abundance mentality mate? You should read and ingrain the 16 commandments of poon and the sidebar. Always keep two in the kitty. Apparently you don’t, if so you would have had another girl to ask out. Keep meeting girls, it’s a numbers game.

keenostreef · 2018-12-23T20:01:31+00:00

Reading OP arguing the comments, I'm thinking is that how chicks react when they get soft nexted? OP you are a bitch hahaha get a hold of yourself for God's sake. Just the fact that you're still thinking about this and arguing about this is proof that that isn't about disrespect, it's about that chick being your only option to get your dick wet and now that it's slipping away you're freaking out.

chazthundergut · 2018-12-23T20:42:34+00:00

Dont allow her lack of response to make you emotional.

Just wait till you're the one ghosting on chicks. This experience is just fuel for the fire

Auvergnat · 2018-12-23T21:31:22+00:00

When you wonder how to react to this or that ask yourself how would you react if you had another 10 girls you’re fucking at the moment.

Answer in your case: you’d stop caring about why this one ghosted you. You wouldn’t have the time to spare thinking about how to tell her she’s been rude and you wouldn’t even have the desire to “show her”. Her loss. You may even be grateful that she didn’t waste your time if she wasn’t interested.

So next time you see her, you can act as if nothing happened.

gbnz87 · 2018-12-23T21:36:07+00:00

How long has she been silent? I usually give them 24 hours and try a similar message again. If they don't reply to the second one then I let them go on with their life.

I'm often guilty of it myself, when someone sends you a text for something when you're either busy or can't do it due to other obligations I leave it for a bit while I think of a response and then completely forget about it. Especially over Christmas where my schedule is pretty busy.

MrAnderzon · 2018-12-23T23:03:24+00:00

Why are you getting lunch to begin with. Maybe you know each other but it's weird if you barely know each other and stuff your face. KiSS

Cafe or Bar would be better.

There was a post on here awhile ago suggesting that if you want something sexual with this girl plan to see each other at night or after 7 or so.

BrutalMan420 · 2018-12-24T02:22:44+00:00

why in the fuck is this thread so popular

amedeo_modigliani · 2018-12-24T05:30:11+00:00

Meanwhile, Chad is fucking her in the ass on first date. She is not into you dude, next.

jakenbakery · 2019-01-05T17:48:34+00:00

Get over it.

Comments