What is some of the worst dating advice men are told?

[–]Banincoming67 points68 points69 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]tuyguy41 points42 points43 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]creepcookies[🍰] 39 points40 points41 points 8 years ago (63 children) | Copy Link

[–]LawyerInTheMaking21 points22 points23 points 8 years ago (29 children) | Copy Link

-Be aloof. Women love it when they're not sure if you like them or not. -Make sure she knows that she's not your only interest/option. You'll be more attractive to her if other women are chasing after you or you're pursuing them. I've heard this from male friends who actually think this stuff. WTF is wrong with people? None of this is true when you're dealing with a human being who is worth your time. So upsetting. :(

You know why men say this kind of stuff? Its because it works (on most of the women they come across). You really have to understand the psychological transition that men go through, going from the being the super nice guy/sweetheart that never got any of the girls he wanted to becoming a guy that women are actively pursuing. I used to be that super nice guy that would show relationship interest from the get-go because that is what society and women have been telling me that entire time. Do you want to know what broke the straw on my blue pill camels back? The girl told me to my face, "You're a great guy and all, but i was talking to you because i was bored". Keep in mind that this girl wasnt super attractive and had tons of guys after her all the time, just your average blonde-hair blue eyed college girl.

Such a rejection, though maybe not exactly like that, is where many men come from who have now adopted the abundance/aloof mentality. Now, you may saw that not all woman are like that^tm or you are not like that, but the kind of women you are is not the kind of women that many of those men come across nor the kind of woman you are make up the the majority of single women. If your kind of women were the majority then something like hookup culture wouldn't be as prevalent. Men are very pragmatic, when something doesn't work, we change our strategy to one that does. Its like the reverse strategy of AlphaFucks/BetaBucks that many women have except men now are minimizing/eliminating the BetaBucks and instead focus on being Alpha Fucks.

hope this helps :)

[–]creepcookies[🍰] 6 points7 points8 points 8 years ago (25 children) | Copy Link

Ugh, that's terrible. I recently fell for a guy who is a "beta" and was crushed by his now ex wife cheating on him. He's doing this switch to an asshole alpha nonsense bit and what it did was change him into a selfish prick. Hot and cold, take charge, telling me that he's "not going to put up with any shit"... um, I understand that and there wasn't any shit until he started acting like this. We don't need warnings, let's just be kind to one another and drop the act.

Good women don't need these alpha games. We don't need or want a man to act like something he's not to put up some kind of protective barrier. This guy and I no longer speak, unfortunately. He's not the man he started out as and the one he's trying to be is full of himself and just cruel.

So I guess it really comes down to what kind of woman a man is looking for. A smart, kind, forever woman who is not fooled by this alpha culture? Or serial arm candy with a side of drama.

[–]LawyerInTheMaking13 points14 points15 points 8 years ago (20 children) | Copy Link

Ugh, that's terrible. I recently fell for a guy who is a "beta" and was crushed by his now ex wife cheating on him. He's doing this switch to an asshole alpha nonsense bit and what it did was change him into a selfish prick. Hot and cold, take charge, telling me that he's "not going to put up with any shit"... um, I understand that and there wasn't any shit until he started acting like this. We don't need warnings, let's just be kind to one another and drop the act.

He sounds like he is in the anger phase still and he'll get over it eventually. When everything that youve been told about women basically gets burned down to the ground right in front of you, its not a fun experience. When that girl told me that to my face, that pissed me off for a good year and a half. Eventually, with the help of TRP, I got over it and stopped doing that nice guy stuff but didnt become a total dick lol.

Good women don't need these alpha games.

Here's the problem with what you are saying and a lot of men who have gone through the nice guy constant rejection phase will have with this. What you say and what you do are two very different things. During our nice guy blue pill days we would take what girls say about what kinds of guy she wants at face value and try to be what she wants in order to date her. However, somehow she seems to end up with dudes that dont care and in her own words "are assholes". A guy can look past one bad relationship experience however when it becomes a repeated pattern of behaviour, thats when the blue pill frame starts to crack. Why? Because thats when a guy asks himself, "why am i doing all this work to show that im a great guy and being what she wants but somehow he gets her without doing shit?". Remember how i said that men are very pragmatic? If what he is doing to get you is working and what im doing is not, im going to learn from him and not you.

So I guess it really comes down to what kind of woman a man is looking for. A smart, kind, forever woman who is not fooled by this alpha culture? Or serial arm candy with a side of drama.

Men who want relationships look for relationship quality women and men who dont do not look for that. With that said, attraction is a universal concept. If a man comes right up to you and tells you he wants to date you are you going to respond well? probably not. If a man comes up to you and says he wants to sleep with you are you going to respond well? most likely not. So in order to (eventually) get what they want they want they both have to build attraction (through game). From there, its on you to decide how to respond to their attempts of attraction. Hope my explanation helps :).

[–]creepcookies[🍰] 4 points5 points6 points 8 years ago (18 children) | Copy Link

Your explanation does make sense and I'm very glad to hear that you didn't become a jerk. :) I hope that you're right about the man I mentioned because he really is/was someone unique and I considered him very special.

He actually did approach me and tell me that he wanted to get to know me with the intension of possibly dating in the future. I was delighted and found his honesty incredibly refreshing. Taking things slowly was going well until he switched gears and I guess we no longer see eye to eye.

I'm saddened when people learn from stereotypes and base their relationships and interactions with the world around them on them instead of getting to know people individually. I guess I understand why it happens. People try to prevent pain and rejection while improving their chances of success. I'm an optimistic person, generally, so I go for quality over quantity.

What does your "game" look like?

[–]LawyerInTheMaking9 points10 points11 points 8 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

Your explanation does make sense and I'm very glad to hear that you didn't become a jerk. :) .

Dont get me wrong i am a jerk now lol but women who spend enough time talking to me (as friends or what not) know that i can be/do nice things on the down-low. The biggest criticism that i get is that i say offensive shit.

He actually did approach me and tell me that he wanted to get to know me with the intension of possibly dating in the future. I was delighted and found his honesty incredibly refreshing.

See, this goes back to building attraction. He didnt go right up to you and go, "Hi, i think youre attractive and want you to be my girlfriend". He built attraction and showed interest in you BUT left dating as a possible option. The blue pill guy would have showed too much interest and make it known that he wants to date her, but doesnt build attraction.

I'm saddened when people learn from stereotypes and base their relationships and interactions with the world around them on them instead of getting to know people individually.

See the thing with that is from those stereotypes and interactions there is a level of consistent truth. Say you have a girl who two guys want. To get the right to date said girl, each guy has to beat out the other guy to do so. Blue pill guys have the Nice Guy^tm playbook for their strategy while fun, aloof jerkboy uses game. Nice Guy^tm playbook is predicated on showing provider abilities but not building attraction. Jerkboy's game is building attraction but not showing provider abilities. Ultimately, bluepill guy is going to lose because he did not establish attraction and even if he does get to date her the relationship wont last. Knowing this, repeat this process for the bluepill guy a couple of times. When the stereotype matches his experiences and interactions, he either adapts or he sinks with the ship.

Let me put it this way, have you ever heard one of your girlfriends say something on the lines of, "He's a great guy but im just not into/attracted to him"? Or have you ever said "You're a great guy and some girl will be lucky to have you" while you were single and open to a relationship with someone? If being a great guy was simply enough then wouldnt you and your girlfriends would be dating them? lol.

What does your "game" look like?

My game is a bit different than most on TRP because its more geared towards a redpill relationship but not actively looking for one atm if that makes sense. Why? Because i aint shit. Physical attractiveness aside, im 23, finishing up my undergrad and heading to law school right after, and dont have any assets or status to my name. Because of where i am in life i know as of now i dont bring much to the table. Therefore im more focused on establishing myself in order to maximize my potential and make something of myself. Also i know what kinds of girls i like and those kinds of girls simply have better options (plus many girls around my age arent interested in a relationship or are riding the CC). One thing ive learned about women and many former beta males can attest to, women dont like to be with a guy that is isnt established unless its her Chad that she thinks she can "fix". Many women would much rather have a man that is already established and there is nothing wrong with that fyi. Knowing what i know about women now and combining that with my redpill knowledge and current status in life, trying to date the kind of women i want would be an exercise in futility. Thats why i took myself out of the relationship game and is what i meant by saying i aint shit. Once i have adequately established myself is when ill join back into dating. Knowing my value now what i will be in the future, i no longer see it as a privilege for me to date you but instead you to date me. Why? because most guys wont put in the work that i have/will and achieve what i have achieved. If the guy im trying to be (masculine alpha relationship quality man) were a dime a dozen, im preeeeeeeeetty sure you wouldnt see as many articles by women asking where are all the quality men lol

[–]uebermacht4 points5 points6 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]creepcookies[🍰] 2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

It's funny that you keep your niceness on the DL lol. Also, what kind of offensive things do you say?

The guy I liked is getting a divorce from his cheating, narcissist wife (horrible woman) and needed time before entering into any kind of relationship. I'd already liked him for years before that as we work together, but had never done anything about it obviously because I'm not a home wrecker. The attraction was already built.

You're right that stereotypes come from people and situations repeating themselves so often that it becomes "the norm". Anything outside of that becomes an anomaly. I think, though, that the point of everyone being here is to understand, become, and secure the anomaly.

I have had that conversation with girlfriends many times, "He's a great guy but I'm not into him." Thing is, the reasons I wasn't attracted to these guys had nothing to do with their kindness. I wasn't into them because I didn't feel a spark. They were immature, not physically attractive to me, or had completely different interests/goals in life that were incompatible with my own. They had more of a chance with me because of chivalry and being good guys.

I've also been physically attracted to guys and then instantly turned off by the way they treat me or other women around me. Or the way they talk about women.

I've had many male friends confess feelings for me and when I didn't reciprocate, they turned cold and hateful. They stopped being friends with me and probably turned into Chad. So you're right about one thing. Being a good guy isn't simply enough because it doesn't account for things like personality, wit, sense of humour, class, maturity, physical attraction etc.

I haven't turned into a bitch because I haven't landed every man I've been into. Maybe I should lol, I heard that men prefer bitches to nice girls hahaha.

I recently met one of my friend's roommates and he's typically "nerdy" looking... tall, thin, glasses, not much in the way of fashion sense, pretty quiet. At my friend's birthday party, he was too shy to speak to me for half the night but at one point we were standing alone near the bar so of course I struck up a conversation with him. He was really sweet! Funny, chatty, and very chivalrous. I hung out with him for the rest of the night and we have more in common than I would have originally thought. The more he opened up and the more he let me see what a gentleman he was, the more attracted I was to him.

By the end of the night, I was going to ask him for his number if he didn't ask for mine. Unfortunately, my friend let me know that he was in good form tonight because the third roommate wasn't present and when said roommate is around, this great guy turns into a total asshole. I guess he feels like he has something to prove? Either way, that squashed it for me. Which guy is he? The asshole or the gentleman? Does he even know? How could I know? And I have zero attraction to assholes so that was pretty disappointing.

I admire your version of Game. I think it's actually called Growth hahaha. I fully expect that you'll be rewarded for your strategy tenfold. Maybe you should write a book about it and teach other men to do the same. I know that I'd sure appreciate a whole generation of men actually trying to better themselves rather than just trying to appear better while in pursuit of sex.

10 point to Gryffindor!

[–]DarkuSchneider3 points4 points5 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I think it is an issue of semantics and perspective when it comes to the Nice Guy vs. Jerks thing. Being middle aged I remember when they started Beta testing the Beta training boys in school get and it was often in the form of guilt. For instance when I was growing up in Texas around 12 (late 1980s) the boys went to a assembly where we watched a movie made by the NEA and NOW. It basically said in the nicest way possible because of the flaws of masculinity we were rapists and wife beaters waiting to debut unless we eschewed traditional masculinity and did our part by shaming others for expressing it too. By doing our part we would be allies to women and respected for it and was more desirable in modern society. On college campuses they shame boys for rape culture constantly now. Combine that with the poor representation the father figure has on TV, mostly fatherless homes, and Disney/Romcom showing the nice guy does not finish last once the Jerk shows his true colors and you have a recipe for nearly 3 generations of developmentally stunted males. This is also how White Knights are made.

Healthy males are mostly governed by the left brain which is all logic, formulas, and systems. This is why we can seem very transactional and/or coldly pragmatic. The Nice Guy is essentially programmed to believe if he deposits enough 'tokens' he will get his 'prize'. The arrogant/selfish/egotistical/sexist Jerk in his perspective is the living embodiment of the evil 'toxic masculinity' he was taught to hate and becomes a license for his jealousy and calling it justice. In the eyes of the girl she is just simply attracted to a confident guy that she believes has potential for whatever it is she is seeking and is probably nice to her most of the time. So when women go and say 'just be nice' this becomes a source of furious frustration to those nice guys. Hearing constant shaming of what gets girls as evil and girls just want a nice guy then being rejected for being too nice causes confusion. They confuse being nice with being attractive. Women should say IMHO 'I want a guy I'm attracted to AND is nice and sweet to me etc.'. I tell the young guys that ask me for help with this a very bitter pill. I remind them that being nice is not something special that gets you a gold star. Being nice is the bare minimum cost of entry to polite society not vaginas.

This is why the Nice guy is not nice because he is trying to buy a person. He can become resentful or even violent when he does not get what he feels entitled to because in his mind he paid their asking price but did not get the goods. Look at Elliot Rogers manifestos if you want to see how bad this programming can make people go. The mass shooter in Oregon a couple years ago in his manifesto specifically lamented society made him a 'beta male', unable to be a father and start a family and wasted his best years living a lie and all was lost now. Studies of ISIS recruits find many were poor and/or losers and embraced jihad to reclaim some semblance of masculinity and worth on the battlefield and the promise of obedient war brides and virgins is a strong lure for the disillusioned, desperate, and angry.

Ironically the war on toxic masculinity and patriarchy may in fact create their fictional boogie-man in real life once society runs off the rails. When the last vestiges of morality and compassion are beaten out of people and society falls apart into anarchy what do you think will happen to the most privileged?

[–]creepcookies[🍰] 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Standing ovation, sir!

I am NOT by any recognizable feature a Feminist. I believe in equal rights for all. I believe in treating my fellow humans with kindness and respect, as you said, not to win a prize but because that's the bare minimum one does as a productive member of society. I do not subscribe to this "toxic masculinity" BS and I absolutely agree that the war on patriarchy is creating an atmosphere perfectly suited for anarchy and all forms of destruction.

I support the rightful model of patriarchal society because men are natural born leaders, protectors, and providers. Women are helpers, supporters, and nurturers. Both are equally as important, valuable, and needed for society/relationships/families etc. to function healthily. I do believe that women make excellent leaders as well but it will be in a different style and she should not be the leader of a home or relationship. Maybe I'm very old fashioned but it's just a man's role.

Back to "toxic masculinity", to say nothing of the destructive, hateful, hypocritical, disgrace that is the Feminism movement... while I do agree with you that men have been systematically torn down and emasculated (by design in my opinion, but that's a much different discussion for another subreddit), I think that a lot of men have used that as an excuse to behave badly.

Their rebellion against the degradation of their much needed role in society should be organized, through education, awareness, and productive action. It would be far more effective and beneficial to us all if men were to reach out and think of one another, young generations, and long term progress rather than just "fighting back" by "redpilling" themselves with this Alphafux - Betabux junk.

Men are more than capable of organizing themselves and reversing the damage. The evidence is all around us, it's called civilization, lol. I think the thing standing in their way... is their number one downfall/distraction, sex. Unfortunately, it's always been that way.

Oh, one more thing. I do believe that rape culture is real but it is blown out of proportion and the term is abused by lunatics who accuse men of "micro aggressions" for checking women out. (Are you kidding? Get a life.)

Real rape culture has been exposed as things like the belief that if a woman wears a short skirt, she deserves to be raped because she asked for it. Or once a hookup has begun, a person can't change his or her mind and stop the sex because their partner can't control themselves. Or spouses can't be raped. Rape is glamorous in movies etc. and these are all problems that can and should be rectified with education, not the vilification of masculinity and women running around "protesting" with their breasts hanging out.

Sometimes, I can't believe this is real life. :S

[–]DarkuSchneider3 points4 points5 points 8 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

I was not meaning to imply you are a Feminist, they seem to be rare here or are very quiet about it lol. I try not to butt in here too much but the Lawyers story struck a familiar chord to my experiences as a misguided youth and followed a similar path out of confusion. Studying Human nature has been a hobby of mine for decades and as an objective scientist I look all across the spectrums of discussions even the ones I find uncomfortable for the sake of better understanding the situation. In this context I observe what men say and do regarding women and vice versa, and what they say about their own groups to get the clearest picture I can. In the battle of the sexes or any conflict really there are three sides to a story: His, Hers, and the truth.

Men do try and organize but they are aggressively attacked when they try and the state and social media sanction silencing them now because we are all just alt-right Nazis now. Vice just did a hit piece on alt-right MRAs citing TRP which will put it in the censorship crosshairs more I imagine. Look what happened to Warren Farrell when he stopped parroting the good think in the 80s. When he tried to have a MRA sponsored presentation about male suicide in Toronto a few years back the local TV station called it a gathering of women haters and the protests shut the campus and event down. Men are just whining babies in the narrative that has been installed in culture by the media. These ideologies also are the dominant acumen of education and are clear they are not letting dissenting opinions into the discussion. I would be weary citing civilization as proof men can reverse the damage because civilization was built primarily with bloodshed and violence or the fear of it. My biggest fear is it may come to that sooner than later. We red pill people because that's the only non violent recourse we have with the hope if enough wake up to reality we can as a collective society resolve the conflict without going medieval on civilization. In the flow of history we are overdue for another renaissance but they are heralded by mass suffering which may be what we see today.

I'm going to have to disagree with the rape culture thing as another semantic misnomer. I have in over 40 years of my life never once heard outside a rare fictional villain celebrate rape and is usually used as a plot mechanism to define how nasty the villain is or a defining event of a character from a victims perspective. Never once have I seen an institutional manual that instructs me to discriminate against or harm women, in fact quite the opposite. Rape culture is another boogie-man like the patriarchy invented to justify their activism to stay relevant. Of course what a woman wears is not license for anything, that is illogical. Go check out Boko Haram, they literally just opened a rape school and are teaching 14 year old boy-soldiers how to use rape as an intimidation tactic in front the helpless families and how to be the most effective at it and are practicing on their prisoners. In addition for every 10 infidels they kill they are awarded one slave bride to use, sell, or kill as he wishes. Now that's what rape culture really looks like.

Sorry for the rant but it's nice to get into a discussion of sensitive topics where hate and profanity are not flying like bullets on D-day. Cheers!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]LawyerInTheMaking4 points5 points6 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm probably worse than a Chad simply because of how calculated I am. The fundamental difference between Chad and I is that I'm more meticulous in my selection making process. While I do say I prefer relationships, I have no problem demoting a relationship to a plate or simple dropping her outright if I feel like she's not living up to expectations for my commitment that she agrees to or behaves out of line. Why can I do this so easily? It goes back to me ignoring relationships and instead establishing myself. If I do that then I don't really need you now do i? I did it all myself. Instead I choose to keep you around because you're entertaining (I don't say this directly of course, I'm notorious for not giving straight answers).

My commitment is the prize, not yours. And sorry, sex will not work with me at the bargaining table.

[–]creepcookies[🍰] 2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

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[–]creepcookies[🍰] 3 points4 points5 points 8 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

So true! I very rarely hear anyone speak of joy. When I do, I don't think people understand the difference between joy and happiness.

I listened to an interesting TED Talk about what happiness is and the speaker said that a large portion of it is really residue of good memories. Another large portion is anticipating activities during which you'll be happy and create more happy memories for later.

So happiness is actually mostly in our minds. It's anticipation of memories and reliving memories as long as they're positive. The actual amount of time participating in the activity is minimal compared to the time we spend recalling, retelling, and maybe recreating it later.

Joy, I believe, is in our hearts. Even if I'm not happy, I can be joyful. For me, joy is difficult to separate from hope. I can be unhappy with circumstances, people, even my whole life situation... but if I have hope that I can do something about it, that hope is the seed of joy. It's the reason that I can give something of myself to other people even when I'm unhappy. That actually increases my joy!

Another thing which I think goes along with joy is gratitude. Even the poorest of the poor, people in the worst situations, even people looking death in the eye can be filled with joy when they are grateful for what they do have instead of focusing on what they don't.

All of this can be applied to dating and LTR. Men and women should pursue and create joy in their lives instead of happiness. Joyful people are persuasive, magnetic, and attractive. Also, if you're full of joy, you certainly won't be tearing others down and behaving selfishly. You'll be spreading joy and you'll attract a joyful, healthy partner.

I just love this topic. Rant about joy over, lol.

[–]uebermacht0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago* (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]creepcookies[🍰] 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]uebermacht0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]creepcookies[🍰] 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree whole heartedly! People do need attention but I feel that the more mature we become, the more we realize that it's not attention that we need but rather, connection.

Meaningful, lasting connections are what people crave deep down and immaturity causes people to chase shallow things like one night stands and followers on Instagram. Instagram is sad. I use it as an album for photos of my dogs :) and I'm not in any of the photos.

Being happy with ourselves is the first step to understanding and finding the deep connections we need with other people. We'll find others who are mature and happy with themselves and if the other things like attraction, life goals, and personalities line up... that's when great LTRs are born!

"Unique female energy"... yeah, the male energy is very powerful and desirable. There's nothing else like it.

[–]mrpthrowa0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

You can be (or claim to be) that special snowflake all you want, the reality is that women (including most certainly you) work completely differently to what you describe.

Many girls I've been with I've "gamed" in the sense you seem to think is "bad", yet they always say exactly what you're saying. The reality is that they'd never looked at me twice if I acted according to what you think men should do, and you yourself are unlikely to. Heck, the reality is that I've lost way more girls by displaying the qualities you think men should display in the courting stage.

All a woman "wants" really is to be swept off her feet and enjoy time and have fun without thought, and yet when it's just the time for them to start "thinking" about the relationship they want to find out that they ended up with the perfect alphafux with beta qualities for a lasting relationship.

"wants" here in quotes. Because that's what every woman will desire and respond to despite what she says, including you. Most women are either oblivious to this, know this but are in denial, know this and never say it (because well, if you have to say it then it defeats the purpose). Very very few women admit to it. In my view girls who are closest to unicorns openly admit to it once in a relationship.

[–]creepcookies[🍰] 2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Snowflake? Let's not throw insults lol.

What exactly do you think I've said men should do? Treat us with respect, be sensitive to our feelings, and be chivalrous? Don't you want respect in return? Don't you want to have us appreciate you? Don't you want to avoid crying when our feelings are hurt because you were incentive?

I think I said more about what not to do... which, honestly, is more common sense and pretty easy to do. Don't be gross and treat us like dudes, don't be jerks and treat us like sex objects...

I don't know why you would think that a chivalrous, respectful man can't also be a man in charge and "alpha". I prefer that a man open doors for me, choose where we go, pay for meals, be in charge, be "manly" and the leader in the relationship. But not in a way that says he's doing it because I can't pay for myself or feel that I deserve his money (I think generosity is attractive. I'd love to cook for him and that costs money too but in public, he should look like he's in charge.) OR because he thinks he can control me. (Neither of us control the other but, out of mutual respect, fall into rolls which highlight and compliment the male and female energy we each bring to the relationship. Leader/protector/provider and helper/caregiver/supporter. Equally valuable and both needed to make things work.)

A take charge attitude is sexy and goes quite well with manners, respect, and chivalry and NOT treating women like dudes and sex objects. But there's a difference between taking charge and being an asshole. Good women see it and choose wisely.

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[–]LawyerInTheMaking5 points6 points7 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

It's not the same because of two reasons:

It is the man who has to show he is worthy of being in a relationship with her, but it is the women who gets to decide if she will be in a relationship with the man or not.
Generally speaking, nice guys try provide their relationship benefits before a possible relationship and continue to do after. Girls provide their relationship benefits after getting in one. Girls that do provide their relationship benefits before a relationship are usually not for the nice guy but instead they go to the guy she really wants in hopes of trying to be with him, her Chad basically. While this is not the case all the time, nice guys do notice the fact that they have to work twice as hard to get the what she is giving the other guy for almost nothing. This over time builds a lot of resentment for many of those men.

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[–]Luhardo 1 points1 points1 points 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Except when a girl does it, women are perfectly fine with it. Due to their inherent leech like nature.

That's what RPW forum is all about, the forum you are in right now, is DEDICATED to helping women be leeches and parasites.

It almost never goes "both ways".

Here is a comment from a conversation i had a couple days back on this forum.

(Should you not be supporting yourself, by the way?)

I personally think all women should have a career because you never know when a guy is going to get bored and go find a 20-year-old. But that isn't particularly RPW. They tend to recommend staying home. Most 20 year old men I know can't support a house wife/kids.

AKA, this forum is dedicated to women being parasites, that's why this forum was MADE.

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[–]TheSelfGoverned2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

can you explain what you mean by rpw not being miserable and closed off

Smiles during conversation, asks questions about the topic at hand. Doesn't randomly insult you.

the non-rpw are out chasing men?

They only chase Chad, or what the other non-rpw perceive Chad to be. It is the 80:20 rule on overdrive.

Non-rpw are also uninterested in traditional romance, because it isn't conducive to maximizing their thirsty beta instagram/facebook followers, which is generally their #1 priority. They've replaced any semblance of emotional connection, adventure, or intimate relationships with Chad's cock (or the idea of Chad's cock, since he's usually too busy fucking other more interesting/attractive non-rpw).

In other words, RPW acknowledge that their actions, words and demeanor matter, and acknowledge that men are in fact humans instead of meat trophies, and they behave accordingly.

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Lol, the question here was asked to women. The OP wanted to know what the worst advice given to men was. Women are saying that this advice doesn't work and we hate it.

I guess the difference will be what the men are looking for and if they respect women. Are they looking for a high value woman for a meaningful connection and possible LTR? Listen to women. We're flat out telling you how to win our hearts, minds, and bodies. If men are just looking for sex with girls whom they don't respect, no relationship... sure, play games and make up "advice" to get laid in your own circles.

And the women here are not telling you how we'd "like to perceive ourselves". We have nothing to hide. You don't know who we are. Here, we can be completely honest. The RP women hate your games and aren't looking for tinder quality boys.

What I'm seeing is redpill men want a lot of sex and to stop having to pretend that they respect and care about women.

Redpill women want to be treated with respect and stop having to put up with being treated like sex objects because we're human beings.

Interesting to see how this will turn out.

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[–]creepcookies[🍰] 3 points4 points5 points 8 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

If by "early dating situations" you mean that a man shouldn't come on too strong too soon, then I agree with that. But continually keeping a women guessing about whether or not you like her or care about her is not wise or decent. A valuable woman will get tired of the games and emotional drain and check out sooner rather than later labelling you either a player or indecisive.

"If she sees other women chasing you without any provocation or encouragement on your side." I can agree slightly. It can be flattering when other women find your SO attractive but only when it's not by "provocation and encouragement" of the SO. That's the key. I'm not sure that that part can be helped as much by the man aside from 1. Don't let yourself go. Keep up with your attractiveness even after you've decided on which woman you're settling down with. 2. Women will naturally be attracted to you and it's in your best interest to be faithful to your chosen woman. Do not brag about the attention from other women, she will notice on her own. Women are extremely observant. Your SO will absolutely notice when you gracefully tell the other woman that you've already chosen a woman. You'll be rewarded in multiple ways. Your partner will be faithful. She'll brag about you, show you off, and build you up. She will be more attracted to you and show her gratitude in the bedroom.

"Delusional 19th century gentlesir chivalry mode"? How romantic.

At the core, quality women enjoy chivalry because it's romantic and a high value man has good manners and isn't afraid to make someone else feel special. Women want to make their men feel special as well. Romance goes both ways. We feel deeply connected with our partner when he reaches out and treats us unlike anyone else in his life.

Men place value on things like strength and endurance, protecting and providing for their "kingdom", if you will. Women value emotional connections, harmony, and intelligence. Men and women need both sides of the picture and so we make a good team.

When men treat us like one of the guys, we feel a lack of romance and the connection that's made changes. We don't feel nearly as romantic or sexual about the guy and it turns us off.

I know that men hate it when women treat them like one of their girlfriends. Men and women are different and prefer to be interacted with in different ways.

Don't belch, fart, scratch your testicles, or engage in locker room talk in front of us. Don't call us bitches. Open doors for us, use your manners, and be sensitive. In turn, we won't ask you to hold our purses, buy our tampons, come to the spa, or emasculate you in general. We'll look good for you, anticipate your needs, and make you proud.

[–]DickTerper 1 points1 points1 points 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

But continually keeping a women guessing about whether or not you like her or care about her is not wise or decent.

First of all, "decent"? We are talking about game here. Since when is either party committed to be "decent"?

A valuable woman will get tired of the games and emotional drain and check out sooner rather than later labelling you either a player or indecisive.

I agree that will eventually happen with high-quality, high-self-esteem women who are genuinely looking for an LTR. That's why I said "early dating situations".

However, even such a woman will respond much better to you being aloof and mysterious early on, than to a guy who is very much into her and shows it. That's:

Boring.
Not challenging at all.
"Hey, if I could make this guy want me so easily, he's probably not really all that valuable." (If he was, I'd have to work hard to make him really interested!)

"If she sees other women chasing you without any provocation or encouragement on your side." I can agree slightly.

Haha, "slightly". I've seen women totally flip their shit seeing some guy they were (at best) mildly interested in with some attractive girl. But hey, at least you agree "slightly".

Your SO will absolutely notice when you gracefully tell the other woman that you've already chosen a woman. You'll be rewarded in multiple ways. Your partner will be faithful. She'll brag about you, show you off, and build you up. She will be more attracted to you and show her gratitude in the bedroom.

So, rather than "slightly", it helps a ton, even deep into a relationship...

At the core, quality women enjoy chivalry because it's romantic and a high value man has good manners and isn't afraid to make someone else feel special.

I agree somewhat, but that mostly applies:

Deep into a relationship (whereas most guys receiving dating advice can hardly even get their foot in the door to one)
In very limited, measured quantities.

It's honestly so easy to err on the side of making the woman feel pedestalled, that I would say, yes, that's actually sound advice. Please do not do any of this stuff unless you are very confident in your dating skills and the fact the woman is attracted to you. You are far safer treating her as "one of the guys". You may lose a few points you could have scored by being just the right amount of chivalrous, but you'd avoid being labeled as a pedestalling tryhard / nice-guy, which as you know is the death in any early situation.

No offense, but I think much of your advice shows the typical problems with men getting dating advice from women: you are imagining a man you're already heavily interested and/or invested in, and dreaming up what behavior by that man will satisfy you.

[–]creepcookies[🍰] 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

Oh boy. Where do I start?

I will never, and I think most high value women can agree, date a man (date or LTR) who treats me like a dude. We're not dudes! It's not classy.

High quality women aren't into games when dating early on or in LTRs and ARE behaving decently, looking for decent men.

Valuable women are not looking for a challenge, MEN are! Women like stability, sanity, and respect! Men project their relationship desires onto women, thinking that we want to chase you and need a challenge... You think that if you value us it would ruin lower our attraction to you. NO! Our minds work differently than yours.

When you use men's rules of attraction on women, you chase the high value women away because you come across as immature and low value. You will, however, attract the immature, low hanging fruit with poor self-esteem who is still looking for Chad.

This is why there is such a gap in communication between men and women. Women want men to think like we do and try to attract you using things that we would appreciate. You guys use tactics you'd fall for... and everyone ends up confused and miserable on Reddit LOL.

"The more experienced a woman is, the more she will hide her interest." That's because MEN need a challenge and like the chase!! (Hunters vs gatherers/nurturers) She's experienced in knowing what MEN like. She has GAME. She's not going to do what inexperienced women do - try to attract men by being sweet and showing him that she's invested. That's what women want and what her natural instincts tell her to do. Her experience has taught her that men think differently so she gives them what they want, a chase/challenge. If only men could figure that out and see what high value women want... hint it's not a challenge, lol!

You know why people end up on a pedestal? Here are a couple of reasons:

Their partner has unrealistic expectations and doesn't see them for who they really are. They've built them up into someone they could never be and eventually the relationship will crumble along with the pedestal because no one can keep up that act for long. It's a shame that both of them allowed this to begin at all. I think it makes a good case for not playing games.
One partner is kind and chivalrous, giving whole heartedly to the other, putting more into the relationship than they receive. The other is taking and not giving. They're up there, basking in all the love and attention, wearing their partner into the ground. One sided love is a cancer. Shame on the selfish asshole for sucking the life out of their partner (and probably turning them into Chad lol).

Pedestals are built on unhealthy relationships and broken people. Chivalry is not the cause of pedestals. It seems like you're trying to keep women "in our place" by not allowing us to feel special. The sad thing is that good women want to make men feel special. Why can't we all lift one another up instead of trying to make sure no one feels better than we do?

[–]creepcookies[🍰] 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm imagining myself meeting a new man and if he did the things which I originally listed in my first comment, I wouldn't give him a chance. My attraction level would be 0. Good looking? Doesn't matter, he's an immature jerk. Money? Who cares, I make my own money and it's not worth putting up with that crap for even if I were a gold-digger. Popular? With whom... other assholes like him who will treat me and my friends like that? No thank you. Yuck.

When men go hunting, they study the prey and adjust their behaviour accordingly. They don't go hunting for moose wearing bright clothes THEY like, eating smelly food, crushing beer cans, playing loud music, waiting for prey in deserts. They learn from their subject and take that information into account. They go where the moose are, wear clothes that don't scare them away, act appropriately, treat the moose how they need to be treated so they don't RUN AWAY lol.

You can try all you want to hunt women using all the wrong tactics but take it from a woman, the type of prey your looking for is running away lol. :P

[–]TheLaughingRhino 1 points1 points1 points 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

"Just be yourself"

"The right girl will come along, you are AMAZING!"

"Communication is the most important thing..."

I don't think it's bad advice in general, it's just often laid out there without any form of context involved. Mostly I see them a throwaway lines to avoid having to have any real unpleasant conversations on the subject.

My observation and experience is most women, in general, do not want to look bad in public or feel bad ever. So a woman telling a guy, "OK dude, you need to drop 30 pounds, get a better haircut, whiten your teeth and stop being so feminine all the time. And set that Man Purse/Murse on fire too." is probably not going to happen.

What I've come to terms with, unless she's related to you ( in which case you might get some brutal and real "talk" about attraction), odds are she will say something that will make her feel better but not something that works better for you.

In the ancient Mongolian culture, the bride would ride on a fast horse, and the prospective groom would chase her on horseback. She would, in turn, allow herself to be caught, but still giving the appearance of a "chase" I think this applies in most of life. In modern Western society, women pick the men. Guys aren't "hunting" out there, they are looking for women who are likely putting themselves in the guys way to get interest. All guys can do is maximize everything and see if they get picked and put themselves in the best position to get picked.

But the VERY WORST dating advice is basically every movie and TV show he's seen from 9 years old to like 18 years old. Because that kind of bombardment is no where near the brutal reality of the dating/mating game. The "advice" is there is someone there for you and someone there for everyone guaranteed. That you will be unconditionally accepted. That there is a happy ending in play for everyone.

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Husband: spiritually compatible, masculine, reliable, funny, faithful, loving, able and willing to be emotionally intimate, intelligent, passionate, having solid communication and leadership skills, motivated, venereal, chivalrous, and adventurous... in no particular order.

Lover: the same because for some people sexuality is related to spirituality, a man who can make me genuinely laugh is sexy, I wouldn't want a feminine lover, I don't keep unreliable people in my life so he wouldn't be my lover, I wouldn't do one night stands or FWB so I wouldn't choose unfaithful lovers, sex is emotional for women (whether men like it or not) so if we can't connect and be intimate the sex won't be good, I don't date unintelligent men, a passionate lover is obvious, communication in the bedroom is paramount and I like it when the man is the leader there too, motivation... no starfish welcome, venereal means serving or tending to excite sexual desire, women don't feel sexy when they're treated like dudes, and who doesn't want adventure in the bedroom?

There are more great qualities wen look for in husbands and lovers but I'd say that they're transferable.

You can keep fishing with lures designed by birds but the fish are telling you what they like and what will make them bite.

This was a fun exercise but like the user above you (who made several fake accounts and sent messages to me saying that I'm "the reason women deserved to be raped") I have no time to continue speaking with you beyond this. Good luck with your sexist opinions.

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Title	What is some of the worst dating advice men are told?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	25
Comments	108
Date	August 26, 2017 5:10 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/6w3ub0/what_is_some_of_the_worst_dating_advice_men_are/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/what-is-some-of-the-worst-dating-advice-men-are.73345 https://theredarchive.com/post/73345

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