My Kibbe body type is Romantic. Flowers and flowy and pastel colored dresses are my thing both in the sense that they flatter my appearance--I just glow every time I put on a flowery dress and I'm very comfortable wearing them. But since my early adulthood my libfem friends and later on my colleagues (mostly guys in Tech) have always criticized me for dressing like a housewife and it makes them uncomfortable. There was a time in response to this I tried to wear muted colors, I sticked to black, white, grey colors, minimized my makeup and straightened my hair but I wasn't happy and felt distant from myself. I also hid my hobbies such as taking photos and doing crafty things because my intuition told me that I would be respected less as a leader if people knew this about me.

Recently I've gradually transitioned back to wearing things that reflect my aesthetics but I'm met with the same reaction again at work and well, pretty much elsewhere. Even my sister, who has a very edgy style which she told me that was because our Dad told her NOT to be "flowery" like our mom, has a reaction whenever I look too "flowery".

I'm bothered by this for two reasons:
1/ I was told that I was being too feminine and it seems in our culture femininity in itself is somehow considered inferior. Hobbies like styling, makeup, doing handicraft, flower arrangements, interior design etc. are often considered trivial, vain, "inherently feminine" and "uncool". At my work people used to make fun of this lady who knitted during her lunch time :\ Is misogyny so internalized that people are now revolted by things that remind them of femininity?

2/ There's weird assumption that I often heard from my ex boyfriends. They told me the reason why I dress like that or I care about my appearance because SUBCONSCIOUSLY I must want to attract attention from other men.

Do they really think men's attention & validation means that much to us? When I said I just want to feel like myself they insist that a subconscious part of my mind wants this .. like they know my mind better than I do?
It's so mind-boggling!

I don't have a solution to this yet except that I'm going to be stubborn and dress as feminine as I like. I don't know yet how to push back people's reaction because most of the time it's very subtle, it's very hard to prove & it shows in how they perceive or value my contribution to the company. If anyone of you have experience with not changing yourself to be taken seriously at work, I would love to hear from you <3

ON a sidenote, I'm often lowkey jealous of you ladies who have Kibbe "classic" styles (clean cut dresses, solid colors, etc.) because you look amazing in office wear and especially people wouldn't question your position when you dress according to your likings 😞