Cost performance girlfriend

tellmesomething11 · 2020-12-23T22:21:01+00:00

Unattractive guys can be just as toxic as attractive fuckboys. I could never justify dating someone that I don’t have a physical attraction to as “okay but [at least] he won’t hurt me.” I have to have attraction to a man, but that attraction has changed over the years. Some are drawn to “popular” men and some are more drawn to “outgoing”men and overlook red flags. I feel like FDS isn’t advising to date down in looks. Rather, we are saying to look at the ENTIRE man and vet for a particular outcome, preferably a provider.

Also, I think your view is a tiny bit limited when you speak of average white men in nyc and poc women wanting to date them. It might be your circle tbh. Nyc is pretty segregated when it comes to dating; poc women aren’t clamoring over average white men lol. Living in nyc for 20 years, and being from a very liberal state (California) I find that there are many pockets of nyc that people exclusively date their own race and are not willing to date outside of that. It’s surprising because nyc is not as diverse (dating wise) as people believe. But again, to each their own.
I know what your Korean friend has gone through, it happens to pretty women too. I’ve had men abuse me and then treat a white girl like she’s the best thing since sliced bread. It’s not us (poc) it’s always the man who has the corrupted mindset who believes that white is better. The reality is that these men exist; they feel powerful dating white bc society has implanted that thought from the beginning. It’s not our issue and there is nothing we can do to change this. If a man chooses to (pretty much worship a particular race) that woman can have him. That’s why we vet and make sure we aren’t aligned with men that fetishize our race, glorify other races and overall are low value.

FINALLY. Let me say this. You can bag a rich guy, should that be your goal. Women do it all the time. Limiting yourself to the mindset that “oh he’s rich and in a different circle” doesn’t put him out of your league. What puts a man out of your league is if you are a pick me or low value woman and he’s HVM. You have to always see yourself as the prize, even with rich men. I don’t limit my selection and I def will not date down because rich men may be out of my league. The only man out of my league is literally God. 🤷🏽‍♀️ And He still want me around 🤣

vibewitheasi · 2020-12-23T23:05:56+00:00

Ugly guys have pickmes and cheat too. Especially if they’re not use to the attention from girls and suddenly for some reason they’re suddenly getting it. They’re usually more desperate too. So now you lowered your standards for a guy and you still got hurt. Date who you want and just pay attention and vet.

Suspicious-Leg-1407 · 2020-12-23T22:09:03+00:00

Hmmm I see where you are coming from. I don't know if I agree with you.

Just my .02, but FDS is different than sugar babying / prostitution. With sugar babying, the transparent expectation known to both parties is money and goods in exchange for sex acts. A "rich, hot guy" like Sean Penn back in the day is still the very definition of an LVM, and still probably regarded as a profitable target by a sugar baby.

FDS is about knowing what makes you happy and finding a partner who is as committed to your happiness as you are to his. For some women, happiness is a big home to raise her kids in,; for some women, it's a nomad's life wandering from coast to coast.

eluriaeve · 2020-12-23T22:27:36+00:00

I tried this for a while because I got tired of guys on my level still trying to date up from me in various ways.

I dated two guys who were way less attractive, one of which was about a 5 on the attractiveness scale and even had a tiny penis. Lost his grocery store job, didn’t have a car. Broke, shorter than me. He still had an inflated ego and thought he was God’s gift to women even though he was pretty much a NVM in looks, personality, and finances. The other one turned out to be an emotionally abusive narc that it took me years to get away from. So idk. I’d rather be attracted to someone if they’re going to potentially waste my time, although I wouldn’t put up with any of that shit these days.

Edit: a word

souredskittles · 2020-12-23T22:10:35+00:00

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ASeaOfQuotes · 2020-12-23T22:31:19+00:00

Infatuation is dangerous no matter what it is about, whether it’s infatuation with looks, money, status, humor, attention, etc. The minute you stop obsessing over the big picture and start to dissect the puzzle pieces that make up the person is when you start to see how those pieces are warped, ill fitting, lack substance, etc. You have to see more than what first drew you in, and it can be dangerous to ignore the rest of the man because you like one or two things about him or what he does for you. 🤷‍♀️

bearded_dragonlady · 2020-12-24T00:25:56+00:00

I have the best time dating someone equal in attractiveness to me (which is above average but not model tier). Every time you give guys less attractive than you a chance, you are artificially skewing the market in favor of mediocre looking men, which makes them ever-more entitled.

Vmwvi · 2020-12-23T23:48:53+00:00

Not a chance, are we settling. If they look like trash, you instantly know their self-care/skin-care is trash; and if they can't even look after themselves, what makes you think they'll be bothered to look after anyone else on their lives? Not to mention if someone's trashed their body, and it's staying trashed, and they are fine with it to the point that they aren't doing a thing about it, that says a lot about them. Eventually, one of you if going to end up resenting the relationship, you because you are better, and know you could have done better but were too afraid of being single, or him, because he knows you could do so much better, and resents it.

Revy_Ur_Engines · 2020-12-24T01:08:41+00:00

What I'm getting from this is that we should be careful around the guys we really are attracted to. Sometimes the butterflies distract us from seeing the red flags. Does that mean you go after a guy you're not attracted to? No. If the guy has everything on your checklist but he's not your type but also isn't ugly then just try it for a bit. Settling is taking the bare minimum. There's a fine line between settling and taking a good bet.

janetheautomaton · 2020-12-24T11:09:08+00:00

Koreans also have the term "재수뿡," which you use to describe a man who is good for fuck all.

SamuelaTheThrifty · 2020-12-24T14:44:57+00:00

You are so right about pickmeism occurring when you like the man’s looks. That’s when it’s hard to restrain yourself from chasing and lowering standards for behaviour.

janatztxcxxx · 2020-12-26T03:56:17+00:00

[deleted]

Title	Cost performance girlfriend
Author	janatztxcxxx
Upvotes	101
Comments	28
Date	December 23, 2020 9:34 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/kj1udw/cost_performance_girlfriend/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/cost-performance-girlfriend.753010 https://theredarchive.com/post/753010

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