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BlueJeanMistress
[–]MACMUAFDS Apprentice 120 points121 points122 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
The term choose your battles doesn’t apply to every single person.
Sometimes you need to block/delete and keep it moving. 💯💯💯💯💯💯
[–]2340000Ruthless Strategist 86 points87 points88 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Right, it's not just men.
It's friends. Family. Coworkers. If not literally, block/delete metaphorically.
You cannot control whether people respect you or not. Read that again. There's nothing you can change to increase your worth in their eyes. Impressing them won't work. Withdrawing in a toxic push/pull dynamic will NOT make them want you more. Nor will filling your life with seemingly high value things like traveling, friends, or a social life convince them of your worth.
Let go of your ego and stop trying to get men's respect or respect from people you don't even respect yourself😌.
[–]haunted_vcrFDS Newbie 29 points30 points31 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
People can only respect you as much as they respect themselves, and sometimes that is abysmally little.
[–]SpittensFDS Newbie 23 points24 points25 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
'Don't engage' is powerful. It keeps you from wasting your time, energy, and peace, and keeps them from deriving satisfaction from your struggles.
[–]miwamusFDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I've chosen the block and delete battle.
[–]BlueJeanMistressFDS Apprentice[S] 94 points95 points96 points 5 years ago* (6 children) | Copy Link
I’m so honored: just received my first Scrote DM asking if my husband knows that I’m involved with FDS.
Yes, of course, and because he’s a HVM he agrees with our principles. HVM aren’t threatened by FDS.
[–]lunarfulminateFDS Newbie 46 points47 points48 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Mine knows as well, and he's aware of how much he's benefited from my zero-tolerance attitude toward LV behavior wherever it comes from. Not accepting LV bullshit protects your life and everyone in it from scrotal and pickme assaults on your serenity and security.
[–]BlueJeanMistressFDS Apprentice[S] 56 points57 points58 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Exactly. And it’s such a stupid question. Like “does your husband know you’re involved in a community that promotes high standards and better lives for women?”
[–]lunarfulminateFDS Newbie 57 points58 points59 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
"Does your husband know you aren't entirely dependent on his goodwill for your own well-being and therefore he can't control you completely?" is what the scrote is actually asking. "Does he know his control over you isn't absolute? Does he know that you're aware he can't convince you you're worthless without him? Does he know you have the audacity to have standards for his behavior?"
[–]BlueJeanMistressFDS Apprentice[S] 14 points15 points16 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes to all of that! You articulated it so much better than I could have!
[–]straightouttashtetlFDS Newbie 32 points33 points34 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lmao it's either "you aren't really married" or "he doesn't know you're on FDS".
A HVM isn't going to be affected by FDS because they get it.
[–]PinturaMagnificaFDS Newbie 85 points86 points87 points 5 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
I cringe thinking about the literal years I have wasted trying to help men change.
[–]BlueJeanMistressFDS Apprentice[S] 97 points98 points99 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
The biggest life lesson a woman could ever learn: men don’t change. Ever. That’s why I always tell young women “don’t date potential”. Date what is right in front of you right now because that is who they truly are.
[–]PinturaMagnificaFDS Newbie 19 points20 points21 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Preach!! 🙌🏻
[–]_bethiebabesFDS Newbie 27 points28 points29 points 5 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
also, you cannot shame someone into treating you well. if they don’t have it within themselves to treat you properly of their own accord, nothing you do or say will change what is broken inside them
[–]spicyspaFDS Newbie 68 points69 points70 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Male therapist, " I don't see an issue with your husband not cleaning or picking up after himself. He doesn't have a problem with that." Literally happened to me. And it's still took me another ten years to dump him.
[–]whiskey_and_oreosThrowaway Account 44 points45 points46 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I had a female psychiatrist tell me to lower my expectations of my then-husband and invest my time into teaching him how to do chores. Then she put me on antidepressants.
I ditched her and found a better therapist, but I remembered that conversation and left him 18 months later when I realized nothing had changed.
[–]spicyspaFDS Newbie 18 points19 points20 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm sorry to hear you went through that. Female therapist can be just as bad if they've been over steeped in internalized misogyny.
[–]ASMR_BookclubFDS Newbie 20 points21 points22 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Adding to the long list of crap said by male therapists that make me want to punch a wall...
[–]msinclaireFDS Newbie 12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Wow. Unbelievably disgusting.
[–]AngryBees88FDS Newbie 8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Just like you cannot make chicken salad out of chicken shit.
[–]BasketLow8411FDS Newbie 7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
THANK YOU. I needed this reminder today. It is so true, but it’s also so aggravating that sometimes folks can’t see their behaviors at all in a self-reflective way. And yes I am talking about my ex.
[–]CrepeCrazeFDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I need this tattooed on my hand or something because I keep forgetting
[–]lmc80FDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Or who doesn't want to see an issue..
[–]millriceFDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Also,
You can't change someone who sees issues in your actions
[–]wrice05FDS Apprentice 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Another way to say it: "The unmotivated are invulnerable to insight." --Edwin Friedman
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[–]MACMUAFDS Apprentice 120 points121 points122 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]2340000Ruthless Strategist 86 points87 points88 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]haunted_vcrFDS Newbie 29 points30 points31 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]SpittensFDS Newbie 23 points24 points25 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]miwamusFDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]BlueJeanMistressFDS Apprentice[S] 94 points95 points96 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]lunarfulminateFDS Newbie 46 points47 points48 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]BlueJeanMistressFDS Apprentice[S] 56 points57 points58 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]lunarfulminateFDS Newbie 57 points58 points59 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]BlueJeanMistressFDS Apprentice[S] 14 points15 points16 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]straightouttashtetlFDS Newbie 32 points33 points34 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]PinturaMagnificaFDS Newbie 85 points86 points87 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]BlueJeanMistressFDS Apprentice[S] 97 points98 points99 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]PinturaMagnificaFDS Newbie 19 points20 points21 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]_bethiebabesFDS Newbie 27 points28 points29 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]spicyspaFDS Newbie 68 points69 points70 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]whiskey_and_oreosThrowaway Account 44 points45 points46 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]spicyspaFDS Newbie 18 points19 points20 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ASMR_BookclubFDS Newbie 20 points21 points22 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]msinclaireFDS Newbie 12 points13 points14 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]AngryBees88FDS Newbie 8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]BasketLow8411FDS Newbie 7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]CrepeCrazeFDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]lmc80FDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]millriceFDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]wrice05FDS Apprentice 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link