Married Red Pill

santarosa2020 · 2021-05-04T16:13:51+00:00

Yes this is a terrible idea. What you're saying is that you want to make your husband be more dominant. How could he ever be dominant if he only did as you said? That would not be leading at all! It would just be following your lead.

It is hard sometimes to let our husbands take the lead, especially because we see them everyday and we see that they are not perfect (no one is) and that sometimes they make mistakes.

If you truly are willing to accept your husband as a leader (notice the different here, "accepting" him as a leader, not "forcing" him to be the leader), start by leaving decisions up to him. Start with simple things. For example, let him plan what the lawn will look like. When he makes a decision, support him by doing the things he asks you to do with the lawn (like planting some flowers or watering it while he is at work). Be careful not to take over and suggest ways the lawn could be "better" or to complain to your friends that the lawn isn't the way you wanted it to be or the secret grumble under your breadth that things aren't perfect.

Honestly a lot of women only think that they want men to be dominant. Those woman have an idea of what it would be like to be with a dominant man and they don't see what goes into having a relationship where the man can be dominant. They see the work that goes into it and aren't willing to make the sacrifices to make that happen.

Yes it is wonderful when I can depend on my husband to deal with the finances, keep the scary man in the neighborhood away from our house, and make the hard decisions about how to deal with family situations, however what you aren't seeing is the interior work that I need to do on myself daily to accept my husband's leadership and be a support to him.

thesixthamethyst · 2021-05-04T17:48:25+00:00

I just took a peek at married red pill, and I am super confused as to why you would want to send your husband there.

From the FAQ: So yes, Red Pill is against marriage because of the way it works in modern society. However, in MRP we are already married. We don't support modern marriage, but we detest divorce even more. However, we no longer fear it.

Have you read some of the posts? There are some seriously angsty men there, and after clicking a few posts they were just douche-bros raging on about fucking women. If that's the kind of guy you want to be married to then you might have bigger problems than "my husband isn't dominant enough."

sunny_autumn_morning · 2021-05-04T15:40:30+00:00

I wouldn't recommend RP content to him because if you already feel like he's not taking charge and you're having to take control by default, if he actually reads and starts to make changes, will you actually be happy wondering if he's only doing it to make you happy? Will you still feel like you were in control by showing it to him?

Lightandlush · 2021-05-04T18:52:26+00:00

[removed]

CheeseMonger96 · 2021-05-04T16:16:15+00:00

Express your desires and be pleasable are the two I always chant to myself that I learned from Laura Doyle. She has some great online content that is easy to google if you don't want to wait until you've had time to read her books.

Mewster1818 · 2021-05-04T15:25:34+00:00

I personally wouldn't because there are a lot of people who do give really bad advice there, and a lot of men still going through their anger phase.

I would recommend more male-centered YouTube content where the focus is still on relationships. I think The Roommates has some good content, very much about men being men while also still actually wanting relationships. Make sure the content you suggest is by men and for men though.

But even then, if you know that's what you want from him, then you HAVE to practice submitting to him. I understand he hasn't "taken charge" the way you envision, but what is the worst that could happen if you challenge yourself to let him have the final say in all the household decisions for say a week? Challenge yourself to let him make all the decisions without pushing back, even if they're not the way you would do it. Ask his opinion on things and then take his opinion.

How can he practice stepping up and leading if every time he does you're second guessing him, displaying that you don't trust or want to submit to him, and probably just taking control even when he has put his opinion in? He has become conditioned that it is easier to let you do everything than to do it himself because he doesn't want to cause unnecessary problems.. so now you have to condition him to know that he can be confident and he can take charge without expecting you to doubt him... that's going to take time and work from both of you.

HappilyMrs · 2021-05-04T15:42:36+00:00

Personally, no. I like my husband less at ease with the idea of having plates!

Work on your femininity and submission first. Laura Doyle's empowered wife book and podcast, and r/redpillwomen has a follow-along read through of Fascinating Womanhood which is another good book.

Kind_Entertainment_6 · 2021-05-05T00:39:50+00:00

I repeat DO NOT send your husband to MRP! Read Laura Doyle and begin to practice true submission. Once you read you’ll understand. She also has a fabulous podcast.

TodTheRod01 · 2021-05-04T15:41:24+00:00

Id say problem is definitely both your faults...maybe get him some suggested RP books

boblee77 · 2021-05-04T20:59:03+00:00

Read Lara Doyle

NoAARPforMe · 2021-05-04T16:25:40+00:00

There is a substantial difference between TRP and Married Red Pill. If you are in a LTR, then your husband could benefit from MRP and you could also benefit.

It can be very awkward for you to tell your husband to start reading the MRP sub-reddit. I would suggest saying that someone you know was watching a Rian Stone YouTube video and you thought it looked really interesting in terms of long term relationships. Or maybe you found a link to the videos online. Ask if he had heard of Rian and if he had looked at any of his videos. Find one that applies to your situation and even mention that particular video you would like to have him watch without saying that exactly.

There are other videos out there, but much of MRP are fans of what Rian has put together. He also posts regularly on MRP. He was one of the original MRP moderators.

As the old saying goes, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. At that point, you have led your husband to the water.

HappilyMrs · 2021-05-05T11:35:51+00:00

The latest Laura Doyle podcast (076, 3 secrets for fixing your husband) made me think of this post, perhaps it will be of some help?

ChakraSandwich6245 · 2022-01-24T21:13:50+00:00

It’s a difficult problem.

A Muslim turned Atheist may never eat ham, or drink, though he knows in his head it’s okay. Morality, then, is a bodily phenomenon. It’s a very hard thing to change.

A suggestion might be, see how his body responds to the question, “so what should I do?”. Maybe tell his body not only is it okay, but good, to respond to this question with male leadership. Maybe gradually, it will learn that what he did wasn’t damnable, but good. And needed. Sorely needed.

John Wineland approaches it this way. Women can greatly help their mans body to open to leadership. So can other men. Religion. Anything that is experienced. It’s ultimately why good women argue with men.

It’s what MRP is for, ultimately. To wake us up. You can add to that an anti-feminist book and something along traditional values and see what happens. Not necessarily in that order, or together. If men are men, and women are women, and they’re different, that means a lot.

In the end, though, waking a man up is an art. Conscious men are around. They learn they were unconscious by women. Adam and Eve. So, without MRP, nature still runs it’s course. The more feminine you become around him, the more he will have to wake up, or face destruction and chaos.

AutoModerator · 2021-05-04T04:22:31+00:00

Your above submission to /r/RedPillWives has been removed, because you have a new account with little karma. Please message moderators (bottom of the sidebar above "moderators" box) to be approved, or lurk and contribute more in discussion before posting a new submission.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Svenskamamma · 2021-05-19T11:00:34+00:00

Notice that it’s only men recommending you to MRP? It’s just a place where narcissistic abusers can slap each other on the back for treating their wives horrifically, it’s not a place that healthy and truely high value men hangout. I’d argue that nowhere on reddit is, if a man has hours to spend browsing or even more so moderating a sub they are nowhere near as high value as they’re masquerading.

My husband is an executive and an athlete, when he isn’t working he’s training, on the golf course or spending time with his family and friends he wouldn’t even know any reddit was and would think the guys that post on RP sites are losers. You do not want your husband to be like them.

This comes down to you. Do you let your husband make decisions? Plenty of women think they want their husband to lead but then undermine him by doubting his decisions or by unfairly blaming him when the outcome isn’t what they wanted. You also need to show him that you appreciated him and the outcome of the decisions he’s made, I can’t stress this enough- genuine appreciation is the core of making this dynamic work, he needs to trust you too.

Title	Married Red Pill
Author	Lightandlush
Upvotes	21
Comments	42
Date	May 4, 2021 4:22 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWives
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWives/comments/n4fu8f/married_red_pill/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWives/married-red-pill.759239 https://theredarchive.com/post/759239

Comments