I can absolutely understand how some ladies will share with their partner their own trauma, like past rape, traumatic experiences, sexual history or even general intimate history with past partners. I t feels cathartic, it feels liberating but we got one massive massive problem...

THE MEN WE DATE AREN'T TRUE NEUTRAL PARTIES.

You probably wonder "What the actual fuck this does means??" It means that the men we date have some interests in the relationship. And that they can use the information you share with them against you. To retraumatize you further, to gaslight you (knowing it's a particular weakness of yours), to poke you, and annoy you or plan something against you. Their interest is sex and female attention from you and they can use the trauma/history you have against you to hurt you further and mold you into a pickme for them.

In comparison, therapists and other counseling professionals have that interest to NOT use the information you share against you, and if they do, they risk losing their livehood and permit. And therapists are educated to hold their own opinion about your situation and to focus on YOUR healing instead of their egoist interests. That's why we often recommend to go to a therapist. it's not basic ass advice, it's essential for your own protection.

Trauma makes you MORE vulnerable to abuse, exploitation, gaslight, manipulation and other general LVM/NVM things. And vice versa. Not letting POTENTIAL LV/NV men know about that trauma at least cuts parts of that cycle.

"But I have healed, and I want my partner to know this stuff" the actual problem with trauma is that t never actually gets healed, it is gonna be a permanent weakness point of yours. You'll be more or less sensitive to that topic, even if it was 10 or 50 years ago. It will always be a sensitive point. Why handle a potential partner the weapon to hurt you further? You just don't want someone to reopen that wound and worsen it.

If it is actually relevant because it still affects you today, I would strongly suggest to give the least amount of details possible (shows that it doesn't affects you that much) and only share this information long into the relationship.

A high-value partner wouldn't use your trauma or history against you, but the LV or NV highly probably gonna use it against you to benefit their own egoist objectives, and thus, retraumatizing you. You don't need extra trauma because you shared something with a man.

Trauma sharing can be considered by some as a way to "increase the intimacy in the relationship" but trust me there's many other ways to create intimacy by other means, like discussing your passions, your dreams, your ideas, debate on some topics with him, discuss some current news with him, etc.

GUARD YOUR HEART AND MIND.