I don't know who needs to hear this, but it is a lesson that has caused me so much stress and taken years and multiple relationships to sink in: Do Not Share Your Friends!!!

In each of my relationships so far, I have somehow ended up in my exes' friend groups where I didn't feel like I belonged (they would say I was part of the group, that we were all friends-- yada yada, but you can always feel in your gut when that isn't quite the case). OR if that isn't bad enough, my exes always seemed to insert themselves and take over the groups that I'd started, and I was stupid enough to introduce him to them. Men are such bad sharers, and it often felt like I was a 3rd wheel even with my own friends.

Don't let this happen. It is so isolating because, if all of your friends are in common with your SO, there is no where to turn to when you are having trouble in the relationship. I never knew if I could share information with these people without risking it getting back to my ex. And when I DID talk about him, it made me feel guilty inside, believing I was putting my friends in a difficult position.

Sharing friends with a SO opens you up to a ton of heartbreak, drama, and stress. I have learned just how much it sucks to realize that the LVM you were with has manipulated the people close to you to gaslight and criticize you--- And how betraying it feels when someone you believed was a mutual friend, was actually trying to break up your relationship all along, saying poisonous things about you behind your back, while your SO denies any possible malintent.

Socrates once said, "To find yourself, think for yourself." If you take anything away from this, I hope you realize that you are an independent woman, capable of having a life outside of your relationships. And if that hurts his feelings, sorry, but he ain't the one sis.