i joined the childfree subreddit and EVERYTHING is women’s fault, specifically, mothers’ fault. the sub is overrun by LVM. i am childfree for many reasons, although i love children, i do not want my own. but i am in shock at the dehumanizing language used to refer to children from “cum pets” to “crotch goblins”. many individuals also expressed disgusting views towards motherhood (fatherhood never facing the same vile drivel), expressing the opinion that mothers should not have access to maternity leave, support and benefits, namely. as a childfree woman, i need my partner to be childfree as well, and childfree men already being rare, seeing that a large portion of them are LV is demoralizing.

the childfree community should be about discussing valid reasons against wanting children such as overpopulation, unbalanced distribution of resources, lack of resources from government, children being one of the most vulnerable members of society at risk of physical/emotional/ sexual abuse/pedophilia/kidnapping/murder/trafficking, pregnant women being some of the most vulnerable women facing a higher risk of abuse/murder by their intimate partner, reproductive rights/access to abortion/improved contraception, improvement of services for single mothers/mothers and children fleeing domestic abuse/adoption and foster care systems, maternity and paternity leave, equal distribution of housework and childrearing, a safety net for housewives and stay at home moms, the selfish reasons prompting many unfit individuals to pursue parenthood, more in depth and accessible information about pregnancy/birth/child development/parenting etc.

the childfree community should be about discussing our struggles as childfree individuals, especially women. we have been conditioned since childhood to believe our worth and value lie in marriage/motherhood. many of us face scrutiny and criticism concerning our choice to not have children by family/friends who feel entitled to our reproductive labour or project their insecurities onto our lifestyle.

the childfree community should be about discussing our childfree lives, our relationships with friends/family, our romantic relationships with childfree partners, our careers, hobbies, and other projects we can partake in due to the lack of responsibility surrounding parenthood. we should be discussing how it is possible to find fulfillment without procreation, without a nuclear family model.

in conclusion, if you are a childfree woman, it is extremely important to vet your partner’s reasons for not wanting children. there are many valid reasons, you can use the ones stated above to vet. LVM seem to have daddy or mommy issues which they take out on children and parents. a partner who has suffered abuse as a child or has a dysfunctional family should be working through their issues instead of redirecting blame to avoid self-improvement. LVM’s reasons for opting out of parenthood are also immature and show an apparent lack of commitment and responsibility which will affect you in a relationship. never stop vetting, you may think a man is HV because he shares the same position on parenthood, but as you dive deeper in his reasoning, the truth will come out.