Urgent question after dramatic scene over the phone

UEMcGill · 2021-08-04T20:19:53+00:00

I really didn't want to read it purely from the title:

Urgent question after dramatic scene over the phone

So this first section I will write without even reading it. What does it say about your frame if you need urgent help after a phone conversation?

Ok, now I read....

Oh man it gets worse.

Still getting worse.

I. Can't. Even.

You have poor boundaries. What should you do? Quit answering the fucking phone.

I swear my wife tried one time when we were first dating to yell at me and all it took was me hanging up. She called back and I calmly told her, "When you want to talk like a grownup, I'll talk back."

If she calls you names. Hang up.

If she threatens to call 911. Hang up.

Go live somewhere else? You already do. You should talk to a lawyer about how to ensure you don't get set up for abandonment, but the rest? It's already fucking done. Just tell her "Hey you're fucking crazy and you don't need to move here. But if you want to make it work, let's ease into it. We'll figure out co-parenting."

I mean the fucking hard work is done. You have a crazy bitch who doesn't live with you and you want to figure out how to make it work? Sounds like the problem is solved.

DeplorableRay · 2021-08-04T18:51:59+00:00

She is just dreading the idea of having to come back to you. If she was really that into you, she wouldn't have left for two years. Let me guess, you're paying for everything, too...

oooKenshiooo · 2021-08-04T22:32:17+00:00

She probably cheated on you and dreads going back to you, hence she is sabotaging her relationship with you (even more).

Sorry to break it to you buddy, but this ship has sailed.

BobbyPeru · 2021-08-05T04:12:09+00:00

Yeah man, pretty sure the other comments made it clear that she used you and now she wants to spit you back out.

Expect a bunch of drama coming. She will try to make you think you are horrible (she already is) but that’s just part of the game she is playing.

She has no intention of staying with you, so she’s going to try to escalate. The only reason she would possibly show up in 4 days or whatever is if she can’t escalate it “over the phone” enough.

Don’t fall for any of this bush league bullshit. Stay calm and don’t get drawn into the fights she’s about to try to create.

Watch as she phases herself out. My guess is she’s already with another man.

Learn from this experience so you don’t have to repeat it.

HornsOfApathy · 2021-08-04T18:34:56+00:00

Women are like waves of the ocean with feelz, and in your case, you need to let it just crash and wash over you - right along with that delicate pussy between your legs.

sicrm · 2021-08-04T19:16:51+00:00

talk to a lawyer and use STFU as your default setting.

Taipanshimshon · 2021-08-04T18:35:11+00:00

You're about to fight for custody of your daughter I think. There are tons of posts on things like that.

Also - did you know that you married a crazy woman ? Or are you just figuring that out ?

Or is there something you're not telling us

screechhater · 2021-08-06T01:32:24+00:00

Wow.

Call her up next morning. Hey morning, see you in a few days ?

Like. Nothing. Happened. Reset. Fucking . Daily.

Stay on schedule.

Captains are trained to put their oxygen mask on first then secure others.

Remain in frame. If you cannot respond without falling out, then STFU

Your biggest problem is failing to remain in frame and follow through with the plan

How in the fuck do captains get to their destination ?

Remain focused on the big picture goals, but keep on keeping on with daily improvements

wkndatbernardus · 2021-08-04T22:09:35+00:00

She's been cheating while on a "sabbatical" from your marriage which is why she's giving you hell as she stares down the reality of moving back in with you. This likely has been in the works for a while. I would sit down with a lawyer STAT and get the lay of the land in regards to your liabilities.

Try to stay calm and go about this biz as a professional. Easier said than done, for sure.

PutABabyInThat · 2021-08-04T18:39:42+00:00

What should I do? Do nothing. STFU, lift, read, etc.?

No definitely not. Go against everything you've read here because your situation is unique.

Tyred_Biggums · 2021-08-04T19:10:23+00:00

So, not seeing where the dramatic scene is.

She yelled. You yelled. You both suck as people and made a kid.

Having her a sparring partner would be worthwhile as you work on yourself however I don’t see this relationship lasting. Likely she’s cheating or will cheat. She’s disgusted and despises you.

So either 1) use her to spar with or 2) chock up the loss and end it.

As a side note: is she convinced you’re possessed by a demon and have Satan as a friend? Has she tried to smoke dried sage and drive the evil away?

Asking for a friend…

ilove702 · 2021-08-04T19:02:02+00:00

What value is she bringing to your life. Sounds like you would get a discount on paying her expenses if you tell her to fuck off, divorce will give you a way to put a price ceiling on the amount of money you give her to be a bitch.

BigBoiBahmani · 2021-08-05T05:07:55+00:00

Immediate shift of mindset that you can make is "Imagine your wife doesn't exists at all. Now what will you do to improve your lot in life? What will be your mindset as to what will you do to make life better for yourself ?"

Do that.

When wife comes, dont take her anymore seriously than you would take a teenager who gives you his opinion on politics on a bus stop.

This is the most immediate practical advice. Other than that, lurk moar retard. STFU. Dont take her seriously. She is not that important.

Chard-Far · 2021-08-06T06:38:12+00:00

So you're living separately for two years? Sounds more like a long distance relationship than a marriage. And you sound overly confidence she's not getting the D from someone that actually lives in her state.. Seriously dude what the fuck is this shit show you chose to live in? What kind of marriage is this? Why are you settling for this?

alejandrosalamandro · 2021-08-04T18:59:13+00:00

You should STFU. Depending on what you did there are rarer stances where you may consider saying you are sorry. And they are rare indeed so keep them for the exceptional and extraordinary. Even bad daily fights do not fall within the apologizing category.

When she comes you keep your frame and start doing what a father does. Be above it. It is hard to explain but if you are above and beyond it mentally it will set a good frame.

Do women threaten divorce and dramatic actions if you break frame and don’t stfu? Yes. Do they fall down and quickly change moods to the point where if baffles a man? Yes. We don’t understand intuitively that women can pull stunts and tantrums that they can recover from fast that if pulled by a man would almost always mean that the relation ends there.

So STFU, read, lift and be a good father to your daughter. Be your own mental point of origin. The ship needs a captain but you should think of that fact as a byproduct of being your own mental point of origin.

donmcde · 2021-08-04T18:46:44+00:00

She could be bipolar. You comparing what you did to breaking an old vase could also be you being very generous to yourself.

Yeah, just checked your account. Your OYS and past post don't read like your wife live in a different state. You're in a dead bedroom 100% but she still hints at sex and pulls away when you initiate from a different state while living with her parents somehow. Are you a pathological liar or are you structuring your posts in a way to impress retards on the internet?

Also, I think it's cute how it switched from "my house" to "our house" when you consider confronting her.

OriginalFinnah · 2021-08-04T22:25:18+00:00

Is it your kid? If not leave find someone else don't know why you would live away from your wife for 2 years that's insane there's lots of problems here

UsefulWalk4 · 2021-08-05T16:51:05+00:00

What should I do?

Depends. What do you want to do?

You see, you are missing the primary point of all this. Start with what you want to have happen.

Do you want her to stay in a different state?

...Tell her not to come, stay in other state.

Do you want her to join you?

...STFU and let her join you.

Do you want a Divorce?

...Get an attorney and get one.

Do you want to stay married and have a great marriage?

...Ah, that's the one isn't it? There's a sub-reddit for that, but you see it requires a lot of work and it may not even work (likely won't because she sounds checked out, but I don't know too much about the vase you broke). If this is the answer to what you want then visit MRP, hit the sidebar, lift, read, and get to work. I'm guessing you won't do any of that and you'll just let her ruin your life until she decides that she's had enough.

Good luck!

mrpthrowa · 2021-08-05T10:23:38+00:00

dude... threatening to call the police in this way in its own right is a black flag.

Your woman is mentally deranged, and since she is a reflection of you it's likely you are a basket case in your own right.

Next the bitch and work on yourself.

"I have been reflecting on our situation lately and decided that we should put off living together". That's it, don't explain, don't deer.

Move on with your life.

academicRedditor · 2021-08-04T18:56:08+00:00

Arranged marriage?

JameisBong · 2021-08-05T02:23:14+00:00

I didn't read, but it sounds like your mommy hates you and she doesn't want to live with her child. The fact that she threatened to call the police on you is actually very troubling.

Try being a man and stop second guessing yourself. You broke a vase? STFU it's not something you should discuss over the phone. Stop saying stupid shit to your daughter. Be a fucking man and take charge of the decisions in your life.

SteveSan82 · 2021-08-05T04:53:07+00:00

You’re beta bucks. Pay a lawyer for a consultation to know your rights

Title	Urgent question after dramatic scene over the phone
Author	hombre_rojo
Upvotes	9
Comments	104
Date	August 4, 2021 6:21 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/oxyv1l/urgent_question_after_dramatic_scene_over_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/urgent-question-after-dramatic-scene-over-the.816075 https://theredarchive.com/post/816075

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