If a man and woman work the same hours, should the woman still do all the household chores after work?

scallopkid · 2014-08-04T18:36:58+00:00

I saw a comment a while ago about how the concept of even dividing up chores is really a female thing and that to guys it's just the job of whoever cares most that it gets done. I would accept help that he offers but I would not assign him chores to do. If he wants to split them then follow his lead as to how they should be divided up.

There are a lot of small chores that really don't need to be assigned anyways. For example taking out the trash. Taking turns for that always seemed petty and immature to me.

For laundry, it makes sense for you to do it because you more likely have clothes with special washing instructions. Laundry is pretty easy anyways so it's not a big deal.

TheTerrorSquad · 2014-08-04T18:51:59+00:00

When I was younger and without kids my husband and I had fulltime jobs. It was my inclination to do all the cleaning and cooking and it was his natural inclination to do other manshit. Never occured to me whether this was right or wrong it was just happened. I was never resentful and was happy that he done the jobs he did as i never wanted to do them. This is why I pity the fully paid up member of the modern woman because she doesnt seem to be happy doing this sort of stuff and feels its beneath her

I_am_quite_nervous · 2014-08-04T18:20:15+00:00

Have you used flylady.net at all? That site has a lot of great advice to keep your house organized without necessarily spending all your free time on housework.

Personally, I would prefer being the one taking care of housework, because I tend to believe that men do many non-household related tasks that go unnoticed all too often. I suppose it's ultimately up to you and your boyfriend, but expecting him to do housework could cause more problems than just doing the chores yourself.

trpbot · 2014-08-04T22:34:47+00:00

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sugarcrush · 2014-08-04T18:11:36+00:00

Write up a list of all the chores and come up with a split that is acceptable to both of you.

We work the same hours and share some of the housework. I do more of it because I like certain things to be done the only correct way... Uh, I mean my way :) Husband helps out when I ask, which is usually with dishes, picking junk up, and trash. He will also be in charge of mowing and stuff when we get a house. I'll gladly do the dusting, vacuuming, and scrubbing in exchange for that!

FleetingWish · 2014-08-05T04:14:02+00:00

You're asking the wrong question. The question you should be asking is "who's the one who cares about the chores getting done?"

LadyNotADrone · 2014-08-04T19:58:56+00:00

I work more hours than my fiancé, but I still do the majority of the housework. I generally prefer a cleaner house than he does, so the onus is on me to keep it the way I like it.

jellybeannie · 2014-08-04T19:13:44+00:00

You can do things however it works for the two of you. In my situation, I work a lot more hours outside the home because my husband runs his business from home. So he will generally do more chores like laundry or cooking dinner before I get home so that we have more time together. Then on days I am home early, or weekends, I will often take my turn. It just makes more sense for us this way.

ArcadesRed · 2014-08-05T13:44:48+00:00

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LadyLumen · 2014-08-04T19:50:26+00:00

I feel like there has been a lot of questions like this lately. I don't know if people are assuming the "rpw" thing to do is the woman does everything around the house? Do what works! For my marriage it just works out that I cook (I like it and can actually cook, sorry husband) and do most of the cleaning because for some sick reason I enjoy it. If I need help I ask for it. We don't run around and say "Well I worked a longer week so I'm not doing XYZ, you can". You find what works and you ask for help if you need it.

2014-08-05T15:42:51+00:00

My bf and I both work. I do most of the small daily chores (cooking, dishes, cat litter, etc), but he does "dude" stuff like the lawn and fixing things. It works for us and I never feel the need to nag him about cleaning. It takes maybe 20 minutes out of my day.

HeelsDownEyesUp · 2014-08-05T16:40:18+00:00

IMO the woman should, because it helps keep our fitness up. Unless you both work out about the same amount, I would take the most chores around the house. I expect the man to do the heavy lifting, like when something breaks or such.

Lady_Motido · 2014-08-04T20:34:17+00:00

I was of the opinion that having your man do 'woman' chores such as doing dishes, sweeping, mopping, dusting, vacuuming etc the traditionally feminine chores emasculated him as well as betasized him in the woman's eyes making her tingles tingle no more.

HULKx · 2014-08-05T10:57:02+00:00

me and my my girlfriend work the same amount of hours most weeks.

i do all the yard work,take the trash out and cook dinner... she does the rest.

2014-08-05T23:21:44+00:00

Do your days off match? My wife and I work customer service jobs so the schedules rotate and days off rarely match. I think its a simple as working as you go. Dirty dishes go into the dishwasher. Run when full and empty when done. Trash goes in the trash. Empty when full. Clothes go in the hamper, wash when full. Thats 90% of the chores. The 10% thats tricky is the weekly stuff. But vacuuming while he does the yard isn't rocket science.

2014-08-07T09:36:04+00:00

Myself and my SO are moving in together next year, my idea is to Bagsy whichever ones you find enjoyable (I like ironing so I volunteer for that) and then work out your pet peeves and do the things that you want to be done in a certain way (I make the bed because I do it right goddammit). Make a rota for everything else that needs to be done. Sometimes I'll take on a chore when SO is doing his ridding-the-house-of-the-spiders-and-other-things-with-too-many-legs duty

moggymojo · 2014-08-08T22:43:28+00:00

For me it is about who wants the results. If the house is a mess I won't enjoy 'relaxing' anyhow, I would rather put in 30min to get the house tidy and then relax. I love yard work so I do most of that too.

2014-08-10T20:15:09+00:00

wayneywonder · 2014-08-05T17:08:48+00:00

I don't think there is a hard and fast rule on who should do what, but people who insist women must do all the housework seem to have overlooked that this came from a time when women worked and men didn't.

It depends on the couple really. To me it makes sense to share house hold tasks in relation to skill. In a very traditonal way, this may be men doing the fixing and mending around the home, women doing the cooking and cleaning, but it might not work like that for every couple. I think both parties should pull their weight, and also be in agreement about expectations.

MorePancakes · 2014-08-04T22:46:42+00:00

Remember when thinking about this, not all 8 hour days are equal. I have no idea what you or he does. But it is still worth a moment to ponder.

peppepcheerio · 2014-08-04T22:42:53+00:00

Depends if he does other things. Scraping the ice from our windshields in the winter, grabbing items from the store on the way home, fixing the broken doorknob, catching delicious bass, etc. As long as he's pulling his weight in other areas, I'm more than happy doing the housework.

thrsblyt · 2014-08-05T01:46:48+00:00

Try to split it on the chores you like doing. I like cleaning and making the house all cute and nice. My bf takes out the trash and does all the repair jobs, he's also the one who cooks most of the time and I clean up after that.

thatgirludontknow · 2014-08-05T13:56:37+00:00

I think every relationship has to find what works for them. If you are they type of person that is going to get upset if the chores aren't done up to your standards, then it's probably better to do them yourself.

d3gu · 2014-08-05T13:50:36+00:00

No, that would be vastly unfair. A relationship is a partnership. Why not pick stuff you enjoy doing (or at least don't entirely dislike). E.g. At home, my boyfriend picks up the groceries and I cook. He cleans out the bunny and I do other stuff. We normally split the dishes. I do laundry and he normally hoovers and tidies.

Spore2012 · 2014-08-04T21:17:25+00:00

Nah, you guys gotta compromise on that shit.

I'd say fuck making a list because no one sticks to them anyway.

Probably better to just make daily agreements, like text/call and say I'll do XYZ if you do ABC. And that way less fights would ever occur as a result of someone not doing their list today because everyone is communicating better. And as a man, I'd be much more likely to follow through on my deal if I verbally agreed.

ayvyns · 2014-08-04T20:07:27+00:00

For me it would boil down to who has the most tiring job all day

Title	If a man and woman work the same hours, should the woman still do all the household chores after work?
Author	LadyLumen
Upvotes	21
Comments	57
Date	August 4, 2014 5:45 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/2clume/if_a_man_and_woman_work_the_same_hours_should_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/if-a-man-and-woman-work-the-same-hours-should-the.84773 https://theredarchive.com/post/84773

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