Why it's unfair to blame only men for successful women having troubles in the dating scene

fengpi · 2019-05-06T13:46:25+00:00

The media usually blames men for being intimidated by powerful women.

No, powerful women simply have contempt for low-status men. It really is just that basic. When you're a millionaire woman, there aren't very many multi-millionaire men in the dating pool, so "there are no good men" out there, because anyone beneath you is, ipso facto, not a good man.

Women's rejections sometimes have a heavy dose of projection in them. "I don't date short men because short men are insecure about their height," is another example.

McFeely_Smackup · 2019-05-06T15:37:49+00:00

Who are these men refusing to date "successful women"? I've never in my life heard a man say he was declining the opportunity to date a woman because she makes too much money, or is too highly placed in her career.

This entire concept is just SJW nonsense. Women are EXTREMELY conscious about their dating prospects financial, career, and social status, it's so pervasive that it's a cliche...and now there seems to be a deliberate effort to paint men with the same brush when it's just not true.

TruthGetsBanned · 2019-05-06T15:21:48+00:00

In a word: Hypergamy.

It's very telling that spell check doesn't recognize that as a word. It's not just taboo....it's FORBIDDEN.

TheDongerNeedsFood · 2019-05-06T14:51:30+00:00

I think a big part of this is that a lot of these very successful women (and I certainly applaud anyone for being successful) have their heads so far up their own assess its not even funny. They view the outside world entirely through the paradigm of "my shit ddoesn't stink, the sun rises and sets in my underwear, every single man out there who would like to date me must first prove how "worthy" they are of me."

Who would you rather date? Someone who is down to earth and doesn't have an over-inflated view of themself, or someone who thinks that 99% of men out there are beneath her?

summonblood · 2019-05-06T14:10:30+00:00

I’ve had this theory that equality will never happen because women prefer high status men / leaders.

As soon as women like taking care of men and men who are submissive, it will change things a lot. But until then, all that’s going to happen is that men are going to keep competing for top positions and women will keep competing for the top males.

Chill-BL · 2019-05-06T14:30:50+00:00

It's both, one factor is just plain ol' hypergamy doing it's natural work.

the other is, men realize that women with jobs with a good education are generally more trouble then they are worth.

So now you can choose between a easy going 21 year old or some career driven 30 year old.

the 30 year old will lose every fucking time.

Lion_amongst_gods · 2019-05-06T15:15:45+00:00

In my opinion, it is just deception with words. In most societies women mostly marry upwards (in terms of finance, status, height). These and many more are some dimensions in which the the higher the number, the better the desirability for sex or marriage.

Now that women get opportunities to be on par with men in education, jobs, pay, etc. the percentage of women with prospective partners is decreasing. The idea is that because society sees more and more women in positions of power, the mentality of hypergamy (kind of) should also slowly fade away. May be this not happening, or not fast enough. That's what causes this trouble.

To say that it's because men are intimidated by successful women is just what one would say to boost one's ego. It's simply untrue. If that were the case, are women "intimidated" by unsuccessful or less successful men? They just don't prefer them as much.

5th_Law_of_Robotics · 2019-05-06T18:00:01+00:00

"Men won't date me because they're intimidated by my success" is essentially incel logic.

matrixislife · 2019-05-06T16:04:57+00:00

They can blame whoever they want, it doesn't make any difference. If a woman is "having troubles in the dating scene" then can she truly be described as succesful?

mgtowolf · 2019-05-06T16:19:11+00:00

Women enter the men's world, and find out the grass isn't always greener. News at 11!

Yes "successful women" are finding out, that being "successful" is a road full of sacrifice. There is a reason a lot of people that seem like they should be happy as fuck, are miserable as hell. I could be a multimillionaire, I have been before, but I decided it's not worth wasting my life, in pursuit of some happy future that will never arrive. I prefer living the happy life now, I can't take my money with me into the next life afterall. I wish I learned that lesson a lot earlier in life, and didn't waste so much of my 20's busting my ass for nothing.

BigLittlePenguin_ · 2019-05-06T16:59:56+00:00

Have you actually dated successful women? Boy they are trying. Not only on the job, but also at home, everything has to be done as she likes it. She decides what you watch on TV, what you eat and basically every disagreement becomes a power struggle. Its just not worth the hassle.

mensmod · 2019-05-06T17:46:22+00:00

It is also possible that men WANT to be fathers, and a successful woman is more likely to not want to take time off their careers to have children.

There are LOTS of factors involved that have nothing to do with men being afraid to date successful women.

fgrsentinel · 2019-05-06T16:57:29+00:00

If you're a successful woman "having trouble in the dating scene" you should get the stick out of your ass and actually cast a net out instead of fishing for the Bill Gates and Elon Musks of the world. Lower your standards from "must make more money and be more influential than me" to "be a decent human being that knows how to care for others" and you might actually find someone.

Tgunner192 · 2019-05-06T16:48:11+00:00

Only 46% of men think it's important to have a spouse with a steady job.

46% seemed pretty high, until I re-read it and seen the word "spouse." I'm curious as to whether this was men who had a spouse and it mattered to them if they had a job, or if it was single guys talking about "spouse material."

Flowman · 2019-05-06T18:25:25+00:00

Look - all of us men know we are pretty much judged on our earning potential. Period.

Women, whether they admit it or not, are looking for a man who is superior to them. Otherwise they have no respect for them.

Problem is, for a lot of these successful women who are high-powered lawyers, corporate execs, etc. the men who would meet that criteria have literally their pick of basically any woman they want.

And therein lies the problem these powerful women face.

andejoh · 2019-05-06T19:06:32+00:00

People have a romanticized view of relationships. Who knew, except for everyone else in the world. You could say the same thing about women and nice guys. They say they want a nice guy, but only date bad boys. When people have a romanticized view, they often look at only the good things, they don't see the drawbacks. A bad boy may be able to protect you, but might also be someone you need protection from. A high earning woman may be someone who can provide for you, but is looking for a subordinate instead of a partner.

A friend's sister bought a new house. I was invited to a house warming BBQ. I didn't know the neighborhood so brought my bolisong. I don't normally wear shorts and didn't realize the pockets were not deep. The only people I knew at the party were my friend and his sister.

She had a bunch of female friends there and so I tried talking to them. They wouldn't give me the time of day. I decided to eat. Fixed a plate and sat down. My knife fell out of my pocket. One of the guys at the party saw it and asked if I knew how to use it. I gave about a 10 second demo as a response. After that the women at the party started coming up to me. I was the exact same guy I was 5 minutes before, but now instead of a nice guy, I was a bad boy. Go figure.

DubsPackage · 2019-05-06T16:19:18+00:00

Why would I date a "successful woman?"

I'm not looking to start a corporation but a family.

How you gonna be "successful" with milk leaking out of your tits?

Who's gonna do all the baby stuff, me?

Dumbasses.

"Equality" is like a brain disease for people who can't/don't trust their partners, don't know how to HAVE partners or BE a partner.

SteakAppliedSciences · 2019-05-06T16:07:59+00:00

I don't know about anyone else, but I actually prefer a woman that has her life together. An education, a good job, fit and able bodied. If she makes more money than me than that's only bonus. I look at relationships as literally a couple. Not two people that are separate with common interest. The income is calculated as both parties combined. How much more she makes than me is irrelevant. I will still be stingy with money spending only because that's how I manage my money. But having a total income higher than your daily spending is what you want to achieve in life.

Realworld · 2019-05-06T18:22:53+00:00

I love successful women. If you maximize yourself (everything under your control), upper-middle & upper class women will compete for your attention.

It's in your own personal interest to make yourself well-educated, skilled, slim, fit, knowledgeable, experienced. Stay fit and keep learning. If you do, your sex life will be low-effort. Women will take care to get your attention and make themselves available.

If you've been working on your own betterment, by your mid-late 20s you'll be pulled up into tech or middle-management. That's where you start encountering upper-middle/upper class women in their late 20s - early 30s. They are smart and they know they're competing against odds on getting a quality man. They'll snap you up as soon as you appear on the market.

I got vasectomy single and in my 20s, as soon as I realized what was going on. Deflect all presses towards marriage.

I came from rural working-class background, a country hick. In my own 20s & 30s successful women were of great value to me because they taught me 'old money' upper-class attitudes, presentation, and approach to life. How to live well at low cost. To use money, not spend it.

After series of successful women have honed you, you'll be welcomed anywhere and everywhere in the world. The upper classes are happy to have a competent man join them socially, and will readily find ways for you to be useful and prosper.

There's continual shortage of knowledgeable, competent, confident people in the world. If you show up you will be recognized, grabbed, and showered with introductions and invitations as they try to figure out how to get you to stay and be useful.

tl:dr: keep working on your future today, your life gets better on its' own.

edit: phrasing

DJ-Roukan · 2019-05-07T08:05:16+00:00

Highly educated, successful women who still have not grasped the concept of personal responsibility.

First question they should be asking is, "what is my worth to a man beyond my job", because most men could care less what they do for work, especially men of worth...but the entitlement mentality? Turn any man of worth off immediately.

It's like the argument about men not being gentleman any longer. Want a gentleman, be a lady. Its not rocket science.

tenchineuro · 2019-05-06T17:48:28+00:00

Look, I make plenty of money to keep me happy. Would I like more money? Sure I would! But for me the path to greater wealth is about me building my own success, not finding someone who will just give me money. (Not that I'd mind that either, it's just not what I am really looking for in life.)

What do I want in a romantic partner? Well, I don't care if she makes money because that's not why I want a romantic partner. I want someone who will really focus on me. Is that selfish? Well, maybe... but that's what I want in a relationship. If she can't do that then I don't see any point in having the relationship.

I know from experience that I'm not going to be happy with a partner who puts her job first and me second. I'm not interested in that relationship. I also don't want a woman who sees me as a money bag that she can drain for herself. I tried that long ago and it was not what I wanted either.

Is there a woman who will put me first in her life and care about me more than my money? I don't know. Maybe AWALT means that there isn't. Maybe NAWALT means that there is, but she's rare and hard to find. If I find a unicorn, then great. But in the mean time I'm not going to settle for less, and unlike women who say they won't settle for less, I'm totally happy to stay single.

DanteLivra · 2019-05-06T19:01:22+00:00

Definetely both, but feminists will never admit it.

2019-05-06T20:00:09+00:00

Women are the cause of their own problems in the dating scene, just as men are the cause of their own problems.

ninja_deli · 2019-05-06T21:07:11+00:00

Male Gender roles, specifically pertaining to men needing to be the breadwinner, are still in place. Many men AND women still feel that way. So of course many guys wouldn't want to date a woman who is more successful than he is. It has less to due with intimidation and more to do with feelings of inadequacy due to ingrained gender roles enforced by society for hundreds of thousands of years. Those things just don't go away overnight. Also, women seem to prefer more successful guys anyway. Why would most guys go for a more successful woman if they already know that it is very likely it won't work out.

notdonaldduck24 · 2019-05-07T00:31:37+00:00

Dude having a sugar mama is the dream

azazelcrowley · 2019-05-07T01:22:51+00:00

This is a good example of the pathology our society suffers from, the feminist framework being used to evaluate issues and project problems women cause themselves onto men.

Consider, because of this framing, the "solution" is to hand more power and control over to the very people who hold men in contempt but refuse to recognize this about themselves, to hand that group of people more and more control over the societal narrative so they can "Fix" the issue by spamming our culture with how they are completely amazing and awesome and men are shit and terrible and need to change by respecting women more.

Rather than tell women "Maybe you should treat men more like people and not be so hung up on their socioeconomic status. You should stop objectifying men as accessories in terms of their utility to your lifestyle and view them as, you know. Friends. People. Because that's what the stats show is happening.", they just go apeshit and start ranting at men about how they need to respect successful women more. The next generation of women then grow up in an environment of heightened and escalated propoganda about how everyone needs to respect this class of woman who can do no wrong and is unfairly kept down, and this furthers their cognitive pathology and illnesses. They become even less capable of realizing the actual problem. Because during this time they're also treating men with contempt, abusing them and vilifying them, this furthers their psychological need to dehumanize men. It's a common theme, when you debase a population, you begin to view them with contempt.

So then those women also can't get a date, and decide it's because men don't respect them enough, rinse repeat, rinse repeat, rinse repeat, all because of the feminist approach to problems.

When feminists were put in asylums, that was the appropriate response. Like, imagine we had full blown delusional schizophrenics teaching children they need to listen to the voices and if they don't hear them they're just bad people who need to stop lying, or try harder, and how that would completely fuck up society in a very short span of time. The inmates are running the asylum.

14b755fe39 · 2019-05-07T04:55:07+00:00

Here is an idea, those women can strap on their ovaries and chase the men they desire (as men did for centuries), kind of like 'the notebook' except with the genders reversed, buy him gifts, make him feel loved, cook him a meal, take him out on dates he will enjoy, buy a house for them to live in (provide a secure setting for the relationship to grow) etc. What man wouldn't enjoy a free meal with love? I sure would...

Women give up too easily, they need to get off Instagram and woo the men and understand that equality means some of them have to do the chasing as well.

Not finding 'tHe goOd menz' as some one else as pointed out is incel logic. You can't be equal and date up (financially), half the women need to date down.

techtesh · 2019-05-08T08:05:12+00:00

Create universities that favor women.

Universities creates masters and phds for subjects that shouldn't be,

Women clamour for those"studies"

(never forget women always date up)

These PhD holders then demand managerial positions or board positions.... Which they get....

Now there ain't enough men to go around above those positions.. But women want what they want (ps:the epidimic of fatties asking for 666 guys) And instead of settling for a lower value guy she decides to either share a ceo (#metoo) Or become a cat lady

2019-05-08T16:32:57+00:00

Men are, for better or worse, measured in our society by their ability to provide. By their career success. A man who cannot provide has no societal value. Women are not subject to this same judgement (they are valued on different criteria, fair or not)

As such men gain nothing by dating a high earning woman because he is still judged by his ability to earn, even if she makes it redundant. Moreover, it's been shown time and time again that women largely have no interest in men less successful than themselves.

So there in lies the conflict. Successful women expect to date men more successful than themselves, narrowing the field, but these top male performers have their pick of the litter, and if they gain nothing by dating a woman who is financially successful, why would they when they can use the social capital of their success to date someone with other more appealing traits (youth, beauty, fertility, free time, availability and willingness to raise children)

I'm not saying that no man wants a successful woman (I've had good luck there myself) but that all this "men are scared of my success" nonsense is just a bunch of whiney rationalization by people are are getting to the top and realizing that the air is pretty thin up there.

Title	Why it's unfair to blame only men for successful women having troubles in the dating scene
Author	UsedToBeRadical
Upvotes	158
Comments	67
Date	May 6, 2019 1:28 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/blc6vv/why_its_unfair_to_blame_only_men_for_successful/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/why-its-unfair-to-blame-only-men-for-successful.878319 https://theredarchive.com/post/878319

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