Regret is not rape

theFunkiestButtLovin · 2017-08-18T15:58:20+00:00

I remember being a freshman at a large public university in 2004. I was shocked to learn the 'rules' concerning sex and drinking. Both parties can be equally intoxicated, but if you have sex, the male is guilty of rape because she was drunk and therefore couldn't properly consent.

I could not believe it. this kind of post, as well as the many 'fake rape' posts, are the backlash against those objectively outdated and extremely unfair policies.

simplisticallysimple · 2017-08-18T23:16:19+00:00

By that logic, if a drunk guy has sex with a drunk chick, they both raped each other.

BlueBeanstalk · 2017-08-18T16:30:46+00:00

This is why I am very particular with whose hole gets my wang gretsky.

Philobus · 2017-08-18T18:49:31+00:00

This is definitely a pussy pass granted

iZexios · 2017-08-18T19:12:22+00:00

One of my good friends that I play PS with is going through this, he couldn't walk the girl that he had sex with home, so she is framing him for rape. He is only 15, but his family has a very good lawyer by their side. He is in Canada which means that they don't have a "rape" crime, only sexual assault.

HuddsMagruder · 2017-08-18T23:36:11+00:00

If consenting to sex while intoxicated made that sex rape, nearly every person I've had sex with is a rapist. I'm a terrible drunken mess who can therefore not consent to these women violating me.

Shameless rapists, they are. Or maybe I should take responsibility for myself, even when I'm drinking.

VinterBot · 2017-08-19T02:39:30+00:00

This is why you install cameras with microphone in your bedroom. I CAN PROVE SHE CONSENTED, I HAVE IT ON VIDEO
Make sure you ask her "are you sure you want to fuck?" so she has to say yes.

billybobthongton · 2017-08-20T07:14:53+00:00

Now, if she is litterally passed out or basically so, that is totally rape. But just drunk? Hell fucking no; especially If you are also drunk.

NiceButOdd · 2017-08-18T23:42:15+00:00

Move along people, there is no PPD to see here...

stellarwatermelons · 2017-08-19T03:04:14+00:00

This law and the way it's been carried out so far has done an amazing job of both demonizing men and infantilizing women

Zippy1776 · 2017-08-19T16:30:14+00:00

this is why you don't stick your dick in anything you aren't intending to marry. With women, there's no such thing as a casual hookup. If it seems casual, they're either setting you up, or are batshit crazy. This is why those who do one-night stands rarely use their real names and you NEVER bring the chick to your house. That shit on TV is fake.

Pandaman86 · 2017-08-19T23:43:30+00:00

I avoid the whole problem by simply not drinking. I don't ever want to wake up not be sure what I did the night before.

RussianManBearPig · 2017-08-19T03:00:53+00:00

What if the female is intoxicated and the male isn't? Doesn't that then boil down to one person taking advantage of another's incompetent state?

If both people are drunk, then it's fair game. But one person being fucked up and the other sober as a rock doesn't bode well with me.

-FuckYourGod · 2017-08-18T19:05:17+00:00

Ordeal is the wrong word. Activity would be better.

talix9 · 2017-08-19T05:03:30+00:00

Can I upvote more than once

BlackBoxInquiry · 2017-08-21T05:58:47+00:00

Very true and they wanna talk about "privilege"?

Of what exactly? The "privilege" of full responsibility for both parties, if the woman decides to keep the baby, "privilege" of pay by for her decision for the next 18-21 years?

"Privilege" - I wonder they think definition of that word is....

cvllide · 2017-08-22T17:23:47+00:00

As a woman, when I get drunk, and I mean drunk, I still know what the fuck is going on. Now I don't speak for every person obviously but I know many people who can get drunk and keep it in their fucking pants.

When I go out without my boyfriend, sure I may feel more easily aroused because of the alcohol but I don't go fuck everyone around me because I'm aware of the fact that "I have a boyfriend who I really like and care about, I don't have any desire to have sex with someone else". When I go out with my boyfriend and we get drunk I'm very aware of "Nice, yeah I wanna fuck him. This is my boyfriend and I'm totally into it."

One of the first times we had sex we were both drunk, even if I had regretted it I wouldn't have claimed it to be rape because when I'm drunk I know what the fuck I'm doing. Yes mistakes are made, but unless I'm blackout drunk to the extent of passing out as I'm walking around, I know what I'm doing.

My point is, drunk people can still consent, I still say no when I'm drunk and for me personally, my drunk yes is still a yes when I'm sober regardless of regret because I actively in my drunken mind thought it over. Yeah maybe it wouldn't have been a good idea, but I won't claim it's rape. Same way a drunk person could be like "let's hop this fence and take a shit in this persons lawn", when they get arrested they don't try to blame the persons lawn for grabbing them in and pulling the shit out of their ass. It was a bad choice, you regret it, but it was still your choice regardless.

The lines can be easily blurred when you meet a stranger or you don't know how drunk a person is. But I dunno, consent is super important and again, I only speak for myself in this situation. This is also about regret and consent. If someone is blacked out or clearly incredibly inebriated, maybe don't go about doing stuff with them. Every situation is different though and everyone should use their best judgment when proceeding with sex under the influence.

KevinReems · 2017-08-18T10:17:09+00:00

I totally agree with the spirit of this writing. However, legally someone can not give consent if they're intoxicated. Which means if a sober person has sex with someone who is intoxicated it is (legally speaking) rape.

This gets even more slippery when everyone involved is intoxicated. If a male and a female are both intoxicated and have sex then neither of them can (legally) consent.

EDIT: Just because I state how the law works, doesn't mean I agree with it. My very first sentence should have made that apparent.

Gandzalf · 2017-08-19T13:26:04+00:00

All this shit can be avoided if you don't just fuck with drunk chicks. If a girl is drunk, stay the fuck away from her. That shit's too risky. If she gives you some pussy after eating pizza and milkshakes, you're probably good. Buffalo wings and Barcardi might catch you a bad break.

disgruntled_lawyer · 2017-08-19T20:44:17+00:00

One must make a distinction between being drunk and making a bad decision and being so intoxicated you legally cannot form the requisite mental intent to consent

...legally, the latter occurs only when you are so drunk that you are incapacitated ..i.e. passed out.

ISOanexplanation · 2017-08-20T00:38:10+00:00

Even if we had a set point beyond which one is impaired and can't give consent (say, like a DUI at .08% where I live) and we all started breathalyzing each other there is still way too much subjectivity to the idea of consent. Feminists have pushed for and won the right to prosecute as rape something as simple as changing positions or thrusting one more time after women withdraw consent with a whispered "No". The old joke of, "Don't (,) stop," makes the simple pause expressing a comma the distinction between consensual sex and rape. This "affirmative consent" where if a man doesn't have repeated verbal confirmation of consent throughout the sex act he's guilty of sexual assault is the current criteria being used by the University of California system.

But none of that matters because sex is generally done privately and that puts us right back at she-said-he-said, just like the bad old days. Some small subset of men have always been willing to sexually assault a woman then lie about it. Some small subset of women have always been willing to lie about having been raped. What we haven't gotten to yet is the small subset of women who sexually assault men and think it's fine because society doesn't care either.

What all this sexist campus rape nonsense—bad advocacy statistics about the prevalence of rape being used to implement scholastic kangaroo courts—does is put young men on notice that if they don't leave the women they bed completely happy forever their entire future is on the line. Young men should also be made aware of the hugely gender-asymmetric feelings of regret women have over one-night-stands:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/insight-therapy/201306/if-only-gender-differences-in-sexual-regret

The criminal justice system, relying as it does on due process and Blackstone's formulation mostly avoids this women-don't-lie trap but feminist Title IX man-haters, empowered by the terrible Dear Colleague letter of 2011 have taken their hate of Blackstone's formulation being applied to sexual assault to insane extremes. As much as I hate Betsy DeVos' let-them-eat-cake belief in school vouchers and other ways to increase the poverty of our poorest schools, I really hope she dismantles how Title IX has been misused be feminists in our schools. She really needs to write a new Dear Colleague letter that rescinds this one:

https://www2.ed.gov/about/offices/list/ocr/letters/colleague-201104.html

Barsik_The_CaT · 2017-08-21T06:38:57+00:00

It's fun how laws try to depict women like some inferior species, or even men's pets.

Women are not capable of taking decisions so men must take responsibility for them!

Wildcard185 · 2017-08-22T06:04:58+00:00

I see a lot of people arguing about how many drinks both parties have to have in order for it to be considered "rape."

But I'm more worried about what happens if there's only one party involved: Me. If I get drunk and touch my penis, did I just rape myself?

Note: This isn't meant to take a stance; it's not some mind-blowing metaphor for either argument. Just a dumb joke.

PsychopathProbably · 2017-08-18T22:17:42+00:00

While I do agree that drunken consent is still consent, I also think a guy is a piece of shit for taking advantage of a drunk girl.

It's not illegal, but it's a shitty, shitty way to act.

It basically means your game is so fucking weak the girl needs to be heavily intoxicated to let you stick your dick in her. Her ability to judge had to be severely impaired for you to make the cut.

What does that say about you as a person?

bbflakes · 2017-08-18T23:30:57+00:00

I'm going to have to disagree on this one.

Consent requires people to be of able and sound mind. Intoxication means you are not of sound mind -- your cognitive function is impaired. Therefore, you can't actually say "yes" while drunk.

That being said, if think if you are both drunk it's equal fault and the blame shouldn't be passed solely to the male. I think that's ridiculous.

secant128 · 2017-08-18T14:59:57+00:00

They are respoinsible for being drunk and being in that situation, usually in a bar or a club or in a party. Nothing would happen if they are in their own home alone and getting drunk. But its their action to decide to get drunk in a place with many different people there. They are not protecting themselves and are actually exposing themselves. If they get raped, its just they are too stupid to let their gaurd down in a complex environment.

collingoh · 2017-08-18T21:34:24+00:00

Guys please read these mass defamers!

https://www.facebook.com/TheDarren-Lee-1239367499437110/

Bloodrot · 2017-08-19T03:55:08+00:00

Well this isn't really a PPD ... but I guess while we're on this topic I should take the chance to educate my brothers

jwaterworth · 2017-08-18T15:24:56+00:00

so if a dude finds a passed out chick, he can have sex with her, as long as he claims she consented?

Heart0fPine · 2017-08-18T22:36:03+00:00

Hmm i have hooked up with dozens of drunk girls and never had an issue, maybe you are actually the problem.

Title	Regret is not rape
Author	sopun
Upvotes	1560
Comments	161
Date	August 18, 2017 9:54 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PussyPassDenied
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/pussypassdenied/comments/6ugtu4/regret_is_not_rape/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PussyPassDenied/regret-is-not-rape.915660 https://theredarchive.com/post/915660

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