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If cheating comes from a man it's not that bad?

August 26, 2022
8 upvotes

Both genders are good at analyzing and judging the behaviors and psychology of the other gender. Plus they seem to like doing it. Feminist environments, androsphere environments and life itself have shown me that.
However, when it comes to self-criticism, both leave much to be desired.

One of the pillars of red pill, black pill and mgtow is women's notorious propensity to cheating. The most pessimistic men say it's almost unthinkable to have a girlfriend or wife without being a cuckold, at some point, sooner or later, it will happen.
Of course, this behavior is seen as something very low and hateful.

It's quite interesting what happens to opinions when the roles are reversed:
I've heard some men say that cheating on your wife or girlfriend is bad... but not that bad and even understandable.
"It's that we men are programmed to reproduce with as many women as we can. That's why cheating isn't so bad for us."
That's the justification and these people seem to ignore that women could also justify all their dating strategies through evolutionary psychology.

But, wait. There is something about this topic that I find even more interesting than what has been stated.
In the androsphere it's not difficult to find comments from men telling of their experiences at bachelorette parties, nightclubs and strip shows: sex with another guy's girlfriend, sex with engaged women and sex with married women.
What amazes me is that these comments usually get many upvotes or thumbs up; for me that's a manifestation of approval, even a cheering.
So, your (ex)girl cheated on you, you hate her for it and that experience made you a black pill or mgtow. That's understandable.
Then this dude tells you about a certain wild night where he had sex with a bunch of girlfriends and wives and your reaction is "Awww yeah, ma boy is slaying it!!!"
Trust me, I'm laughing as I write this.

Many men often talk about how irrational and inconsequential women are and, it's true, many are. However, everything I've already said doesn't seem so far removed from that irrationality and inconsistency.

Another question that also surprises me is that for many men it's not wrong to have sexual interaction with a woman who has a boyfriend or husband:

-Well, she's the one disrespecting her man. I'm not.

-If she has in mind cheating on her boyfriend the relationship is already over, so it doesn't matter if I fuck her.

-Look, if she won't cheat on her fool with me she'll cheat with anyone else, what's the big deal?

-I'm not the one getting married. I'm not to blame for anything.

-I fucked her so her husband would realize she's worthless.

From my perspective, if you participate in cuckoldry with full knowledge of it you are doing something cruel and evil. Any attempt to justify it or downplay it's pure mental gymnastics.

I look forward to your responses and thank you for reading me.

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[–]Admirable_Bee_8714 9 points10 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I'm very much a MGTOW and I'd say cheating is bad regardless of the gender/sex of the person doing it.

[–]Glad-Discount-47611 points [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link

To be honest,I don't believe when mgtow say this lol

[–]Admirable_Bee_8714 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Well my lot in life isn't to convince you.

[–]MasonSub4BlackPill 2 points3 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

I would nevER do that to another man, that's totally fucked up. generally redpillers do this mental gymnastics, but surprisingly blackpillers/incels also dismiss this behaviour from blackpillled chads.

[–]no_bling_just_dingWhitePill (self aware MSTOW) 0 points1 point  (11 children) | Copy Link

dismiss in what way? ignoring it or rejecting it?

[–]MasonSub4BlackPill 0 points1 point  (10 children) | Copy Link

Usually every now and then, a blackpill chad comes around and would tell stories about his "escapades" with married woman or other guys' girlfriends. Then no one calls that shit out

The thing is if it was their gf they would be pissed at both the chad and their gf because the chad has way more options but still chooses to ruin someone else's relationship

[–]no_bling_just_dingWhitePill (self aware MSTOW) 0 points1 point  (9 children) | Copy Link

in this case, (not defending this behavior) it's likely less so that the guys embrace those actions than that they just don't feel like it's their job to police chad when they are stuck at the bottom of the totem pole no matter what they do.

and personally, having shit heaped on me by liberals and muslim tradcons alike (for opposing reasons) for being a virgin who wants a gf and has standards doesnt really thrill me to step in and intervene in other people's dating issues more broadly speaking.

[–]MasonSub4BlackPill 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

I know it's not my place to police some chad's behaviour when I cant even get a woman to look my way

The thing is, I don't want to live in a world where people don't give a fuck about each other. So even if I do my little bit I can sleep easy.

[–]catniagara 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

I’ve heard the standards many men in these forums hold and they should probably just admit they don’t want anyone.

[–]RStonePTRedPill 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Bad for whom?

Good for whom?

Those questions are your answer

[–]no_bling_just_dingWhitePill (self aware MSTOW) 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

i couldn't do it to another man even when i got hit on multiple times by girls with boyfriends or a fucking degenerate married teacher who had a child. this is also why i think something is wrong with those who do it

[–]Glad-Discount-4761 1 point2 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

Sorry for bad english.

Yeah if cheating comes from man,it is not bad.It is man's nature,No matter how he loves you.At some point he will have desire to want tight young woman especially if he is high value.

I was technically bit cheated on,my ex found another girl,but later he told me about it.Being woman,I already reacted like you would expect. I asked him what was wrong with me.He said"nothing,it just happened".This changed my perspective of monogamy.I realised actual monogamy is just for women.

Another thing woman seem to like taken man even if he is asshole( just look at romance novel or movie,it is always playboy while girl want to change him) ,also we know man age like wine so he gets options later while main girl just have to accept it as women's hotness end in 30,she will be getting loose and ugly and get their body ruined if they decides to have baby.

Women's cheating have more consequences.See how many times you will hear man cheating but woman forgive or accept it but not opposite case. Even my dad cheated as my mom was going through menopause and couldn't satisfy him sexually but forgave him,they both communicated and now they seem to be in good relationship.

That's why it is said whether man cheated or not, woman have to deal with consequences.

[–]ImAGhostOooooooo 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

The amount of people who think women turn into old, loose hags at 30 really blows my mind 🤣

[–]Purple-Heiss[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It blows my mind too.

[–]Purple-Heiss[S] 1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Yeah if cheating comes from man,it is not bad.It is man's nature,No matter how he loves you.At some point he will have desire to want tight young woman especially if he is high value.

That's the justification and these people seem to ignore that women could also justify all their dating strategies through evolutionary psychology.

We could also say that cuckoldry is part of female nature because no matter how much your girlfriend or wife loves you, if she meets someone more handsome, taller or wealthier she will cheat on you or replace you. I don't think it's a good idea to try to justify a behavior through exclusively biological reasons, we are more than that.

...also we know man age like wine so he gets options later while main girl just have to accept it as women's hotness end in 30,she will be getting loose and ugly and get their body ruined if they decides to have baby.

For me the beauty of a woman begins to fade after 40. Although I know that we live in radical times and many think women stop looking pretty at 25 (there's also that idea, I think very current, that men under 6' are dwarfs, I think you already read the post where I address this issue).

Women's cheating have more consequences. See how many times you will hear man cheating but woman forgive or accept it but not opposite case. Even my dad cheated as my mom was going through menopause and couldn't satisfy him sexually but forgave him, they both communicated and now they seem to be in good relationship.

I don't know what to say about this...
Haven't you noticed that in fiction (movies, series, books...) and in real life cuckolded men are usually seen as something laughable, while cuckqueaned women are usually seen as victims?
I'm also not quite clear on whether women are more likely to forgive cheaters. From my perception the vast majority of people, no matter the gender, are not likely to forgive such behaviors.

That's why it is said whether man cheated or not, woman have to deal with consequences.

Excuse me, but I don't understand this. Maybe if you could explain it with an example it might be clearer to me.

Be well.

[–]Glad-Discount-4761 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

For me the beauty of a woman begins to fade after 40. Although I know that we live in radical times and many think women stop looking pretty at 25 (there's also that idea, I think very current, that men under 6' are dwarfs, I think you already read the post where I address this issue).

You must be young man.

I don't know what to say about this... Haven't you noticed that in fiction (movies, series, books...) and in real life cuckolded men are usually seen as something laughable, while cuckqueaned women are usually seen as victims?

Because no real man would agree to this unless he is trapped in marriage with kids or he is beta and cuckqueaned women are always seen as victims (only fair if it is abusive) because we live in feminist society.

I'm also not quite clear on whether women are more likely to forgive cheaters. From my perception the vast majority of people, no matter the gender, are not likely to forgive such behaviors

Woman are more forgiving of cheater.Thats fact.I am not saying every woman will but in general, woman forgive more,not man.

Excuse me, but I don't understand this. Maybe if you could explain it with an example it might be clearer to me.

I don't know how to explain properly as I am bad in english. First of all, woman ignored red flags of man they dated and countinue to ignore and keep giving more chances to wrong man.Then one day,it failed .That is one of consequences.She should have been careful and choosed the right guy.Also dating power only exists at 18-29 so women don't have much time for finding right guy.Another consequence would be alpha Widowhood.

Let's say if she is 32 ,guy is 33.Somehow,he cheated and relationship ended.She would struggle in dating again while guy even being asshole can improve in being better man and can get younger woman(at least younger than his ex).Woman don't chance for redemption.There is a reason why you will see man suddenly being family or loyal or better man and living good life with 2nd or whatever wife while ex wife are still stuck( even she was good ) with ugly wrinkle and being cat lady. Woman's value do consist of what they can provide to man.

Man have to work hard for living,providing,getting on top,flirting skills, being careful with financial stuff and so on...so man can live single live better if he decides to improve or try to live meaningful life.All these are rewards for his previous hard work.

Only consequences for man would be paying chid support or paying money for divorce.If it was just relationship,there isnt much to lose for man.

Women do become aware of their predicament but they still have to abide by the rules of dating, whereas men have many options for going their own way. Even making the best of a bad situation would be fine but men can do a lot more with a lot less, whereas women really don't have anything, after they hit the wall and are single unless she is fine with how things are going.

[–]Purple-Heiss[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I don't know how to explain properly as I am bad in english.

https://www.deepl.com/translator
This could help you a lot here in Reddit.

You must be young man.

I'm 28 an this is the second time I've heard the "women in their 30s seem attractive to you because you're young" argument. Highly doubt my opinion is going to change when I'm older.

Women's cheating have more consequences.

Because no real man would agree to this unless he is trapped in marriage with kids or he is beta and cuckqueaned women are always seen as victims (only fair if it is abusive) because we live in feminist society.

I think you're falling into a contradiction here:
First you tell me that women's cheating has more consequences and then you tell me that we live in a feminist society.
I don't quite agree with the idea that women's cheating has more consequences. Think about paternity fraud. According to me (I could be wrong) women don't get any kind of punishment for doing it and it's also my understanding that if you are a man and gave your last name to the baby, the state may force you to pay child support even if it has been proven the child doesn't carry your blood.
It's hard to think that women have it worse in this matter when you take this into account.

Woman are more forgiving of cheater. Thats fact.

You would have to provide statistics or studies to say this is a fact. If in your everyday environment women are prone to forgive cheating, I trust you, but that might not be true on a general level.

Only consequences for man would be paying chid support or paying money for divorce.

Losing half of everything you have when facing the divorce process is one of men's worst fears, and those who have lived through it often recount it as one of the darkest experiences of their lives.

Look, I know I'm sounding a bit defiant but it's not my intention to argue just to annoy people or anything like that. I'm really looking for understanding and exchange of ideas.

Your last response is very interesting: you sound like a woman version of the black pill.
Just as there are many men who think you have to be tall and handsome to have a good standard of living (otherwise "it's over, boyo"), I get the impression that you think a woman's life doesn't make much sense after 30 (it's over, gal).
I don't quite agree with the black pill view, and I don't quite agree with your view either.

I really hope you're well and I hope we can continue to discuss other topics.

[–]no_bling_just_dingWhitePill (self aware MSTOW) 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah if cheating comes from man,it is not bad.It is man's nature,No matter how he loves you

i got news for you if a man or a woman cheats on you they didnt love you in any meaningful way

[–]catniagara 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

No, honey. Just hell no.

[–]HodgekinWhitePill 2 points3 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

Well said.

As you've described, people like to make justifications for their behavior based on biology and not on morality.

Yes. It's true that a man who sleeps with many women is desirable.

Yes. It's true that a woman who sleeps with many men is not desirable.

There's a very strong biological argument for that. We accept men and women are different.

But these biological justification are voided of the moral argument.

Here's an example. You're starving. You're poor. You have a biological need to eat. Are you justified in stealing food? Well, from a biological perspective, yes. From a moral perspective, no.

Now if you want to justify cheating, then don't call it cheating. The word implies dishonesty. If you want to have a polygamous relationship, then go have it. At least you have consent and honesty.

If you're a man, and you decided to live a morally good life. What you do is be honest with your partner that you want to have multiple partners. Don't do it behind their backs, then when you get caught, use the biological justification to dissolve your moral sins.

[–]no_bling_just_dingWhitePill (self aware MSTOW) 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

that example doesnt really match, nobody is gonna starve to death from sexlessness so it's actually not that obvious that you shouldnt steal food to survive but your point stands

[–]HodgekinWhitePill 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, it's an analogy.

There many, I just chose one that came to mind 1st.

Another example would be anger. If someone gives you a reason to be angry, and you're a biological man with high testosterone, the biological urge to smash their face is very compelling. But morally, it's not right.

[–]catniagara 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

A woman who sleeps with many men is inherently desirable. Otherwise she wouldn’t be able to sleep with many men.

You’re just over here like “yes, it’s true that a tub full of water can be described as dry”

Maybe on a molecular level but you’re no theoretical physicist.

[–]HodgekinWhitePill 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Lol. A woman who sleeps with many men is inherently desirable? You have no clue what men actually desire.

[–]BumblingBeta 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Any woman can sleep with many men, it means absolutely nothing about their desirability.

[–]Glad-Discount-4761 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Don't do it behind their backs, then when you get caught, use the biological justification to dissolve your moral sins.

That's what my dad did.That example seems to make sense.

[–]no_bling_just_dingWhitePill (self aware MSTOW) 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

that doesnt excuse his behavior

[–]KirthWGersen 0 points1 point  (9 children) | Copy Link

I see nothing wrong with having sex with a woman who is married or has a boyfriend. Their relationship is none of my business. It is not my job to enforce someone else's rules of morality.

However, if I have ever met him, even for 5 minutes, I won't do it. I also won't do it if there is a chance I could ever meet him. I won't be the guy who laughs and jokes to a man's face and fuck's his woman behind his back.

If I did that, I would get a bad reputation, and no-one would want to have anything to do with me. And rightly so.

It would also create unnecessary drama in my life, and I like to be happy.

As for cheating myself: I have never done it. Because I like to happy and I like those around me to be happy. And it is very easy to do: simply never promise to be monogamous.

[–]Purple-Heiss[S] 4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I see nothing wrong with having sex with a woman who is married or has a boyfriend. Their relationship is none of my business. It is not my job to enforce someone else's rules of morality.

This sounds like the mental gymnastics I'm talking about at the end of my post.

What I find most curious is that your reasons to avoid cheating are partially built in morality.

[–]KirthWGersen 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Not so much morality, as self-interest.

I know the kind of world I want to live in and so, selfishly, I act in the way that would create it if everyone acted that way.

[–]Purple-Heiss[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I see nothing wrong with having sex with a woman who is married or has a boyfriend. Their relationship is none of my business. It is not my job to enforce someone else's rules of morality.

I forgot this part:
It's not your responsibility to develop other people's morality. That's true.
Your own morality, on the other hand, is your responsibility and by engaging in cheating you are hurting someone.

Don't do unto others what you would not want done to you.

[–]h1shman 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Interesting take, can you elaborate on this?

[–]Purple-Heiss[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Don't do unto others what you would not want done to you.

The vast majority of men don't want their girlfriend or wife to have sex with another man. You probably wouldn't want it either.
The vast majority of people wouldn't like to get punched in the face. You probably wouldn't like it either.
I think that's enough to understand why you shouldn't have sex with girlfriends or wives and why you shouldn't go around punching random people in the face.

I see nothing wrong with having sex with a woman who is married or has a boyfriend. Their relationship is none of my business. It is not my job to enforce someone else's rules of morality.

Forget about cheating.
If a person propose you to hurt another person(s) you couldn't accept and get off the hook by saying it's not your job to look out for the morality of other individuals.
If someone invited me to rob a bank and I accepted and we got caught it would be somewhat absurd to tell the judge that I'm not to blame for anything because it was all my henchman's idea and his morality isn't my responsibility.

[–]Peacesquad 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Interesting

[–]catniagara 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

I’ve been in an open relationship and most men were happier to do it behind his back than with his consent. They were obsessed with the idea of being “better” and terrified of being “one of”

[–]no_bling_just_dingWhitePill (self aware MSTOW) 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

yeah... i never got why the homewrecker was "better" and the husband was the "cuck". in a way theyre both cucks. likewise i dont really enjoy the idea of being "one of" many men except separated by time rather than space

[–]catniagara 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree that if that’s your mindset they are both “cucks” I also think different people have different sexuality levels and polygamy works for a lot of people. Some people of any gender want to be what this community calls “betas”. Some people are bisexual. People are very happy in all manner of lifestyles and situations

[–]catniagara 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

I’ve never understood the biology argument. I mean okay let’s talk biology.

Biologically…genetically…physically….let’s run the numbers.

Given the average time most people spend having sex is around 5.4 minutes (the poor souls) and it takes the average man 30+ minutes to get his dick back up, we can have sex with 5-6 men, on average, in the time it takes the first one to run his flag back up the pole.

Men can orgasm once every half hour to an hour. Women can orgasm 20+ times in the same time frame. Not that most men know that. Their poor spouses.

Men fall into a lame sex coma while womens stamina only increases after sex, so much so that some Asian cultures believe that women actually steal mens life force during sex…

Where men have the more active role. Because they’re thrusting.

Also also, women reach our hormonal sexual peak later than men, in our thirties as opposed to mens twenties. And mens ability to maintain or start up an erection decreases over time, whereas women don’t typically show a noticeable lack of lubrication until our fifties or so, usually around menopause. The skin inside the vagina doesn’t thin out until our mid or late sixties.

In terms of biology, women are sexually superior. Certain men’s desire to prove themselves “young” and “virile” probably has more to do with their own psychosocial fear of aging than any biological need.

They don’t typically even desire the women they pursue. They just feel a need to prove to themselves that they can “get” women. Sometimes it becomes so pathetic that they go after ridiculously younger women just to convince the world that they can still throw down without breaking a hip.

[–]Purple-Heiss[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Both genders are good at analyzing and judging the behaviors and psychology of the other gender.Plus they seem to like doing it.However, when it comes to self-criticism, both leave much to be desired.

I don't mean to sound so defiant or cocky, but I think your whole comment is a proof of my opening statement.

In terms of biology, women are sexually superior.

I'm not going to turn this into a "which gender is superior?" competition; I'll just tell you each has good and not so good things.

...and it takes the average man 30+ minutes to get his dick back up...

I find this a little hard to believe. It seems to me that it's too long. Maybe true for a man of a certain age, but for someone young or relatively young... I don't know.

Anyway, you seem to think that trying to justify male infidelity through biology makes no sense.
On that we are in agreement.

Be well.

[–]catniagara 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Nope. It’s a counter argument based on your statement, and pointing out the ridiculousness.

I looked it up before saying it, and I was being overly generous if anything. It’s typically 1-2 hours https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a19518536/male-refractory-period/

IF men are biologically more likely to cheat women are more biologically more more likely to cheat. The fact that we don’t suggests that humans have higher brain function and can choose whether or not to be faithful.

A person who cheats has chosen to cheat, and their body didn’t make them do it. We all have a sex drive, unless we’re asexual.

I just gave all the reasons people find cheating laughable. Because guys who try to juggle multiple women usually can’t even properly please ONE.

[–]HodgekinWhitePill 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You make all fair points in favor of woman's sexual prowess.

Now you have to account for human evolution before birth control was invented. Woman who get pregnant are more vulnerable.

Woman's fertility window compares to a man's before ivf.

Also account for the fact that woman have conceal ovulation.

And also woman who trick men with paternity fraud, and a man's strategy to ensure paternity before genetic testing.

[–]SwimmingTheme3736 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Cheating is low

If my husband cheated on me that would be it.

I stayed with a cheater in the past he just kept doing it, I refuse to be hurt like that again

[–]Pilling_it 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

If you feel the need to hide something from your so, that's for a reason tbh. Usually not a good one. Not just not talk about it, but actively hide.

And it's up to people to define what is okay and what is not, which matters more than whatever the fuck society tell you you should feel. But yeah, be clear and honest, truth defend itself.

Also, don't give reason to people to fuck you over.

[–]DisasterPeace7 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Cheating is bad either way but it comes worse from either side if they break their nature to do it, if a guy cheats on his wife but it's purely just a physical thing, that's not the worst thing in the world, but if he's falling in love with her and taking care of her and providing for her and having a high level of intimacy with her outside of sex, that's an issue and with women I think it goes the opposite way I think most guys if they found out their wife was cheating on them would prefer it be with a guy who maybe she caught some feelings for, it was more of an emotional thing not just the sex, etc., but if she was out here on that Tiger Woods shit hell no lol

[–]Purple-Heiss[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

So for women, non-sexual intimacy is the worst thing about cheating.
For men, sexual intimacy is the unforgivable.

Why do you think this contrast exists?

[–]DisasterPeace7 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Biology lol

[–]NotARussianBot1984 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Not that bad?

Ya, I'd say so. Men have sex for sex. They enjoy getting off. I've yet to see more than 5 women be a true slut and have sex with variety of men for the purpose of sex. ALL the time it's to gain validation from men and to try to get relationships from Chad.

Put it this way: 1) Chad who doesn't eat pussy or 2) Hot short guy that does eat pussy and makes you cum. What do women usually choose? IME 1), they want the validation of being with Chad and hoping sex leads to relationship.

Now for men 1) Hot girl that starfishes or 2) decent looking Girl next door that does anal.

Answer? Both, cuz men are sluts LOL but really 2) comes before 1). Because it's not the validation of hot girl, but the amazing orgasm from great sex men love.

So if a man cheats, its he wanted sex (still bad, just not THAT bad), and if a woman cheats, she sees the relationship as over and wants Chad. RIP it's THAT bad.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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