Advice for our kids?

Rough-Area4765 · 2022-03-16T13:48:33+00:00

F that. Teaching both my boys to see how rigged the system is against men. Warning them of getting legally tangled up, losing half their stuff, their children, their home that they bought because of the laws in the western world.

Teaching them how to have healthy relationships that are not based on opportunity.

Teaching them to respect women but don’t respect the marriage laws as it’s simply a contract waiting to be broken.

Teaching them that statistically, any relationship they have will eventually fail, so don’t invest too much into it.

Finally, teaching them how to be in a relationship but don’t cohabitate. Have children but go into it with the coparenting mindset as they’ll eventually be restricted from you 50% of the time.

Tough love but it’s the truth!

akihonj · 2022-03-16T15:51:31+00:00

No, I'm now building a relationship with my son after a few years of not being allowed any contact, he reached out to me because he's 18 and nobody can stop him.

Every day I drill it into him that marriage is a mistake and not one anybody should do, that anybody who wants to get married is a clear indication of the kind of person who shouldn't be allowed to get married.

Knave7575 · 2022-03-16T16:16:17+00:00

I will try to encourage my son:

1) marry somebody who has roughly the same earning level of you at least

2) to not agree to have the mother to quit her job to raise the kids

3) to sign a prenup before marriage

4) to assume his partner is not on birth control and use a condom no matter what.

Not personally bitter btw, I made out pretty well in my divorce, but it could have been so much worse!

crypto_keeper88 · 2022-03-16T15:43:57+00:00

I'll tell them to never get married unless she makes more or is worth more than you. That is the only exception.

warrior_up · 2022-03-16T19:09:21+00:00

I will ensure that my boys understand the importance of chasing excellence vs chasing women. The fact that a broken marriage can change your life and the odds are not in our favor - what they can do/options they have to protect themselves, their offspring, and their financial future based on that data.

Its not our fault marriage is a sham today, its societies, its pornography, technology, people, and morals that no longer make marriage a vow or eternal, it's a legal trap that's better left avoided - like a bees nest" it's in fact "the worst things you can do" as a young naive man. Theres no forever, more important building your future, abundance mindset, never thinking "shes the one" and knowing its just your turn - always ready to walk away are all things young men need to master. Money is better spent on your toys and your personal belongings, retirement etc. Losing your kids to a women that promised to cherish you forever will steal your hope in humanity - who wants to live that way

Crushed_95 · 2022-03-16T16:37:30+00:00

I'm absolutely telling my one and only son "Absolutely not get married. The system sucks, family court sucks,..........and other things dont suck when you get married! Just stay single and breed after you establish yourself that way you dont lose the roof over you head like dad did son!"

Future-Platform8225 · 2022-03-17T02:10:11+00:00

Only one piece of advice: If it flies, floats or fecks.... It's cheaper to rent!

The guns always loaded even when it ain't... Same concept applies to taking birth control.

eastbranch02 · 2022-03-17T06:45:35+00:00

I'm divorced, not pro marriage, and I'm pretty red pilled, however I don't rant to my son about how terrible women and marriage are. I look for opportunities to slip in bits of advice, like when friends are getting divorced or something happens in a movie. His girlfriend recently broke up with him and that was a good opportunity to talk about women's psychology. However, also remember that you only know what you do now because you made mistakes. Nobody could have told you not to fall in love. Every young person has the right to experience that feeling. They need to experience it. They may learn the hard way like many of us. We can only really provide some guidance and be there when they need our help.

pegleg_legal · 2022-03-17T04:34:10+00:00

I will teach my boys to not be like me. Don't knock some chick up and get hitched. Due diligence is critical. That and a ton of Patrice O'Neal and Bill Burr when they're ready.

almostanglo · 2022-03-16T13:43:42+00:00

Wow. Deep thoughts.

First, what is your view on marriage? Is it a Christian view. Is is traditional? Is it progressive? That background forms so much here. Also, what caused yours to not work out.

Personally, I was in the Christian background. Don't have sex before marriage. Divorce is not an option. Etc etc.

I have not lost my faith, but I think it is very misguided here. I'm not so sure the wait for marriage thing is good. I regret not exploring that more prior to marriage.

Also, I would say if you are married and it is not working, it's OKAY to admit that and move on. If we had done that year 2 instead of year 17, my life would be completely different. It not working is not some great moral failure, it's just something that did not work.

But now, 17 years later, leaving my kids and my wife who is fully dependent on me is a moral failure.

Marriage is good. It is worthy of pursuit. We should teach our kids to seek it respectfully. But we should also not build it up to this end-all-be-all sacred thing that our culture has.

Title	Advice for our kids?
Author	hanktertelbaum
Upvotes	10
Comments	29
Date	March 16, 2022 1:20 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/tfhis2/advice_for_our_kids/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/advice-for-our-kids.1107287 https://theredarchive.com/post/1107287

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