Alone

6StringFiend · 2025-12-23T19:18:39+00:00

25 year marriage just ended and this is my first Xmas in my 50 years I’ll be alone. My adult son was hopefully coming Xmas eve and I just had some friends invite me over for Xmas day. My daughter hasn’t even got back to me. It was my favorite holiday with my family. Mom, dad and sister all passed away and my in laws who’ve been in my life for over 30s stopped talking to me. I’m hurt, sad and depressed but I’ll put my happy face on and keep on, keeping on. Happy holidays and I hope you have a good weekend. Take care.

KingJon85 · 2025-12-23T17:08:47+00:00

Same here. 18 years and first Christmas alone. I can barely walk into stores with all the Christmas stuff going on without just about losing my shit.

On the other hand I've been alone for 3 months and I am starting to enjoy the peace. Its just different.

I have always been independent and took care of her instead of her taking care of me. She did jack shit around the house so my life is easier. She also drained on me financially a lot.

nomohydro · 2025-12-23T16:32:40+00:00

Me too, 13 years man. I always hated going to the holidays with her family. Now, I'd kill for it.

Eff, man.

Immediate-Story2562 · 2025-12-23T04:48:27+00:00

Your feelings are valid. You seem to be still under her spell.
Take the time to work on acceptance and letting go in a healthy way.
Also be happy being by yourself as happiness should come from within. Outside validation leads to disaster.
Reframe loneliness to solitude and peace. Good luck my guy!

lebonroidagobert · 2025-12-23T00:58:32+00:00

feel ya bro. it’s been years for me and this year we almost seemed to be turning a corner. long story short she got weird about being around each other and the kids. so i told her the truth finally - i regret ever meeting her and if i could go back i would and never marry her or make babies with her. she’s the biggest mistake of my life. now she’s giving me the silent treatment. it’s a shit show.

Ok-Guidance6491 · 2025-12-22T18:25:30+00:00

Hang in there. Don’t let those dark thoughts come in. Distract yourself all you need to. Over time it gets much better. You shouldn’t expect yourself to have a new ready made life overnight because you committed yourself to the marriage, like a good man does.

fuzzydogdada · 2025-12-22T16:11:22+00:00

Same here... my first xmas in 24 years without my wife. Hang in there...

I know it hurts like hell but try not to harbor any resentment or guilt. That kind of negative energy eats away at your soul

You guys are breaking up because neither of you fulfilled each others needs. Thats nobody's fault and both your fault. It's best to realize that and accept that it just didnt work out.

Just look forward and work towards a happier future.

I wish i can invite you guys over for beers and really junky food that we will regret on the toilet the next day.

Optimal-Green583 · 2025-12-22T15:54:17+00:00

My best advise don't carry the burden that was all your fault she has her own fault accept it and learn to love you again and start from scratch on yourself that we usually forgot to live for ourselves

Try to bulk up 💪 that always help

Delicious-Curious · 2025-12-22T14:56:05+00:00

Hang in there man. I keep trying to save my marriage and my wife just sees everything I do in a negative lens — literally everything while ignoring all the kindness I’ve tried to show her.

The holidays are tough man. Here in Virginia, too, and while we’re still in the same house we’re sleeping separate and nothing feels normal at all.

Sounds like you really loved her. I hope you’re able to find someone new in the future to share your goodness with.

AlrightAlright_Go · 2025-12-22T12:03:38+00:00

Brother, I feel your pain. You are not alone. My wife of 13 years, together for 15 just unexpectedly served me on my birthday 10/31 after I found her atty retainer letter early September. Spent $2K on a faith based marriage retreat and she backed out the night before we were to leave. I asked her to wait until after the holidays, she said okay then lied and filed on my birthday.

I’m now living in a hotel praying the court will help end things expeditiously so I can just move on and be with my kids.

Hang in there!

dystinct · 2025-12-22T12:01:16+00:00

Everything is going to be OK, brother. It just takes time. This is my first Christmas without my kids and I kind of enjoyed celebrating it on Saturday. They opened gifts and we went to breakfast. I didn't have to worry about stores and restaurants being closed. It was kind of cool.

Visible-Gift8361 · 2025-12-22T11:13:05+00:00

This is literally the coldest Winter, ironically the past Christmas has been pretty warm temperature wise. Papers were handed to me in August I moved out the apartment in October. This will be the first Christmas not waking up to seeing my 2 boys reaction seeing gift under the tree. One thing I will say the pain is in waves and I’m just waiting for these holidays to be over. These holiday waves it hard. Good luck yall. It will get better.

94Questra · 2025-12-22T10:40:00+00:00

So sorry man. Going through the same thing here as my wife moved out yesterday. We had been together for almost 18 years, married for 15. And because I have to go to court with her this week to (hopefully) finalize things.. well, I can't even go see my family that are out of town. So yeah. Just me alone for Christmas for the first time.

WhydIJoinRedditAgain · 2025-12-22T10:11:25+00:00

Yeah, I am doing my first New Years alone (still living together, just fucking shoot me).

It is cold in Virginia…

FirelineJake · 2025-12-22T09:48:38+00:00

That first holiday alone hits in a way nothing really prepares you for, especially with memories like that tied to it. You’re right though, the pain hurts because it mattered, and that’s not something to be ashamed of.

soparent · 2025-12-22T09:15:25+00:00

Same here, first time in over a decade.

Ok-Anything-3605 · 2025-12-22T08:53:53+00:00

I wish you peace. It sucks, no way around it. Our first holiday separated, 3 young kids. She gave it all up by not wanting to deal with her own childhood trauma. Now it’s passed to our own kids. I understand the dark cold winters being stuck inside. Try to get out anyway, for any reason, and put yourself first.

Title	Alone
Author	Alert-Bus-4054
Upvotes	19
Comments	24
Date	December 22, 2025 8:04 AM UTC (7 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1psu4a7/alone/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/alone.1569438 https://theredarchive.com/post/1569438

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