Apps vs Meeting in the Wild

regertsrus · 2025-05-10T16:56:11+00:00

Try ok cupid

atomicnugget202 · 2025-05-10T01:34:36+00:00

Get the divorce and then worry* about getting a partner. Adding another will only make stuff messy when the legal battle starts.

tyyyy110 · 2025-05-09T18:20:31+00:00

My experience

Apps = quick, easy, fun, sex. The gals are a bit on the cray-cray side

In the wild = long-term potential/sane/You dictate the pace more imo

Nyoobwsb · 2025-05-09T18:03:02+00:00

Separated 5 months and she's been out of the house for a month and right away looking for someone to feel the void. Take your time

jimsmythee · 2025-05-09T15:54:44+00:00

In my post divorce life, I have 50/50 custody of my 2 daughters. Plus I work full time. So post divorce life wasn't filled with opportunities to meet women IRL.

Other than dating one of my previous coworkers (which went nowhere), I went on the dating apps. It's a difficult thing to do, having to wade through the scammers. Then the time-wasters. Then the drunks, the pill poppers, the pot heads and then the princesses. Then you have the ones with emotional baggage, severe financial problems, or other issues.

I did meet my "wife version 2.0" on OK Cupid. At the time, my youngest (7 at the time) asked me about the OK CUPID app. I told her it was for meeting women to date. She then said, "Yeah daddy. And if you don't like the girl, you tell her OK Stupid." Truer words have never been spoken.

Ok-Cause1108 · 2025-05-09T14:18:56+00:00

My experience has been if you are an older guy and in good physical and emotional shape you will be in VERY high demand by women of all ages for both sex and relationships.

Most guys hide behind dating apps and have no confidence. If you are comfortable approaching a woman in the real world you have zero competition. Woman make it painfully obvious if they like you, approach them and your success rate will be 100%.

You will be rusty on your first dates straight out of a long term marriage. You will miss ALOT of the choosing signals women give you. Like any skill practice and reps make perfect. Enjoy your early successes and laugh at your fuck ups. After your first 3 or so women dating will be on easy mode from start to finish.

Learn about the different attachment types. This is critical to know how a woman is going to date and communicate with you. I try to stay away from avoidants, but the their love bombing and sex in the beginning is fun. A woman leaning anxious with you leaning avoidant seems to be the sweet spot for attraction and polarity. With practice you will be able to tell exactly what attachment type she is going to be with what she says about her childhood and her relationships with her parents on the first date.

I dont use apps at all and always have 3-4 woman trying to date me. I think it is a good idea to date multiple women in the beginning - freshed divorced guys tend to develop oneitis and can get clingy and try to rush things with dating just one woman. It will take practice to undo the programming that dating is hard for men and to get rid of the scarcity mindset. If you are in good physical and emotional shape you have unlimited options as an older man. After that dating multiples at once is a waste of your time and energy. As a single dad your time is very valuable.

In the real world physcial attraction trumps all. Attraction is not a choice. You put a man and a woman who find each other physically attractive in close proximity and their bodies will react - no way around that. Likewise you cannot negotiate physical attraction with money, things, sense of humor or being nice. So get yourself to the gym and at your age probably also get yourself on TRT. The better your physique and the higher your confidence the more woman will start displaying choosing signals towards you. This gives you more options and more leeway to fuck up but still maintain attraction.

SacThrowAway76 · 2025-05-09T11:57:18+00:00

I’m just a few years older than you and far from the best looking guy. Women at the gym are practically throwing themselves at me. They come up and introduce themselves to me. It’s wild. My STBXW works out at the same gym, at the same time. Most of these women know her and know something of our situation, but they are still coming to me.

I haven’t signed up for a single dating app yet, but the dating life is going well.

Inquisitorial_Court · 2025-05-09T05:58:29+00:00

I count getting rid of all those apps as a success story. Don't waste your time on those apps.

I travel for work all around the states, so maybe I'm used to being out and about by myself, but literally just do that. You'd be surprised how many women are out and about at these stores, literally for no reason. Depending what your goal is, just pick the appropriate place. Starbucks, btw, is never one of those places.

Moreover, find activities, or hobbies that can help place you in those different social circumstances, as long as you enjoy what you're doing, other people will feed off your energy. But at the end of the day, it's activities for you, for you to heal properly, for you to be happy doing things that are just for you.

Only then when you're fully happy, healed and mentally in a great spot, will a wild Mackenzie sprout from the roots of judgement, skipping along ready to pounce at the opportunity to chop a man's legs, for no other reason but she is bored, but her Tinder bio says she loves good communication, and exploring new cities, when in fact she has not actually left her home state, and definitely learned communication skills from a 2 hour online course.

That could be your future if these dating apps are successful. Imagine this though, you show up at a park with your new Bernese Mountain Dog puppy, and women will do all the approaching. game over if you can make Susie laugh.

Normal-Employee-5618 · 2025-05-09T01:39:13+00:00

I’ve noticed especially on those apps women even single mothers don’t like singles dads with more than one kid…

Fast_Reception_6063 · 2025-05-09T01:36:20+00:00

The apps suck. To make the most of it you need good pictures.. not selfies.. u on boat.. u with dog.. u with friends.. if u have any.. no kids in photos.. no shirtless pics unless it makes sense.. like on a boat with your dog and friends.. I have dated 3 women in 2.5 years off of the apps... Not good.. try to organically increase the size of your friend circle.. guys and girls.. try to do some activities women are involved with.. be seen.. be a regular person they are comfortably talking to. Wait for signs of interest from women. I find ways to let them know I am single without sounding desperate. Something like it is just me and the dog hanging tonight while having a conversation. Get out there. Get comfortable talking to new women.. Plant the seed, let it grow 🪴. And fuck the plant.

Grouchy_Software963 · 2025-05-09T01:23:48+00:00

Just run the swipes when you take a shit... all of the apps put the people that swipe on you close to the start of the deck. Move the conversations to text ASAP, and set up the dates in person for the same week as you match.

Title	Apps vs Meeting in the Wild
Author	Helpful-Paramedic463
Upvotes	29
Comments	23
Date	May 9, 2025 1:19 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1ki6lf9/apps_vs_meeting_in_the_wild/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/apps-vs-meeting-in-the-wild.1551863 https://theredarchive.com/post/1551863

Comments