Best next steps?

dday_throwaway3 · 2026-03-16T22:57:29+00:00

You need an attorney. Here's why and how to find one in your area: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1c2n16i/fundamentals_you_need_a_family_law_attorney/

csmedo1994 · 2026-03-16T20:34:01+00:00

Really depends on who wants to continue living at the house, big factor. You didn't say it, but are you either the only breadwinner or the majority income breadwinner? She will likely take 1/2 your retirement pay, 1/2 the equity of the house, etc. That's why who will live there is an essential question. If you move out, she owes you 50% of the equity for the house. The one remaining will have to pay the departing spouse their 50% of the equity. You can do that via a new loan, tapping retirement, etc. If you were the lifelong sole breadwinner, she will likely not be able to afford the new mortgage. Contact an attorney in your state asap. Texas is generally a reasonable state for divorces, so I hear.

Whodean · 2026-03-16T20:09:34+00:00

Get an attorney

oldboysenpai · 2026-03-16T18:54:51+00:00

Something changed. Ask yourself what changed.... If she hasn't done anything yet, I'd pull some money out to have an emergency fund. You should also cancel any joint credit and perhaps go to all electronic billing....change passwords on any account only in your name and set up dual authentication.

My assumptions would be either she's gone crazy or met someone else. Whatever the reason, protect yourself. Looking back, I'd invest in a great attorney before therapy.

TheConjugalVisit · 2026-03-16T18:42:05+00:00

I'm sorry it sucks. Divorce is horribly painful. Get a lawyer and a therapist and get your ass to Church and join a men's group while getting some Jesus in your tank.. I've lived across the street literally from a church for 20 years and never went there. I met SOOO many friends and great people. Bonus I can just walk to it in 5 minutes.

jrtexas · 2026-03-16T18:11:41+00:00

What questions should I be asking the lawyer during consult in the am? Timeframe/cost/stay in house or leave/any changes needed to IRA, CCs, Savings/Ckg, house contents, list house now or wait, sell RV, boat now? My future earnings if I return to work?

Olderbutnotdead619 · 2026-03-16T17:36:44+00:00

If she was a sahm, she worked.

Olderbutnotdead619 · 2026-03-16T17:35:16+00:00

Lawyer up asap. She can leave, not you.

Helpful-Paramedic463 · 2026-03-16T17:14:01+00:00

She waiting until you retired. She's been planing for a while.

TimeCycle3000 · 2026-03-16T16:48:24+00:00

Sorry to hear.

She’s been done a long time.

This is tough this late in the game, when your financial life should be more expected.

Yes, lawyer up. She’s had PLENTY of time to think of what she wants and this is new for you. She has an idea of her figure financial outlook and you’re playing catchup.

Don’t give more than you have to. Likely with so many years it’s just straight 50/50. Sell the house and downsize, or buy out if you feel comfortable with split retirement.

RevolutionaryLaw8854 · 2026-03-16T16:46:59+00:00

What’s your net worth?

bluephotoshop · 2026-03-16T16:37:29+00:00

Remove her from all accounts:checking, savings, credit cards. Move your money to another bank or credit union. Consult a lawyer. When she moves out, change the locks on the house. Change door opener codes. when she takes her share of household possessions, be there to monitor it. Hide your valuables. Grey rock. Avoid disagreements.

Title	Best next steps?
Author	jrtexas
Upvotes	19
Comments	35
Date	March 16, 2026 4:25 PM UTC (4 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1rve7c9/best_next_steps/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/best-next-steps.1575659 https://theredarchive.com/post/1575659

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