can we vent about our exs?

upvotersfortruth · 2026-04-12T15:00:06+00:00

Absolutely within the rules! Welcome

KingJon85 · 2026-04-13T02:47:35+00:00

I spent 18 years with my ex. I was by no means perfect, especially when we were young adults. I grew into my role as a husband and a father.

She grew bitter, angrier, and more narcissistic. She had an affair years ago and we split up for many months. She of course blamed it all on me. About 4 months in she started begging for me to come back and I eventually caved.

I got into therapy and continued to grow as an adult. She didn't want to go but I tried to teach her the stuff i learned. It started helping for a bit.

I was angry about the affair for a long time and I almost left her a couple of years later.

About 4 years after the affair, I started seeing some other signs and had caught her talking to another guy again.

She blew up on me about invading her privacy and blamed it on me again and we broke up again for like a month but lived under the same roof. She eventually begged me back again but come to find out she got scammed for a bunch of money and wanted me to help bale her out.

She totally lied about all this as well and created an elaborate story. Such a dumbass I was.

Anyway fast forward a couple of years and I support her through school. She graduates and I help fund a business for her. She then milked me for as much funds towards that possible and found another affair partner.

There were signs that I once again chose to ignore. Guarded about the phone, spending long periods of time in the bathroom, etc. She was planning to divorce me with her AP and I caught her on the ring camera talking about it.

I came home and told her it was over. She left and went to stay with family but now she is moving in with her AP. She left me for an older rich guy. It's really done a number on my confidence but I'm getting better.

I hate that I wasted so much time and money on a cheater. I just wanted to keep my family together.

Sorry it's a bit poorly written but thats the gist of it.

OpticaScientiae · 2026-04-12T17:52:04+00:00

There’s a lot to say, but the one that is top of mind at the moment is how much she hated me for having professional success.

nonotmeporfavor · 2026-04-12T16:45:24+00:00

I do think it’s important to tell our story. It’s important for you to be able to share your experience and allow it to come out in a way that is for you.

Hopefully, you’re able to share it with your friends, family and more so to a therapist. Because you will want to tell your story, to be validated and seen.

However, they’re also comes a point where you realize that continuing to tell that story is only holding you back.

So, one day I decided to stop telling the story and start trying to move forward in a more constructive and positive direction. Like any destructive change, for example, in a war or battle or even a god event. There is summary of events, what happened. It’s a few sentences sometimes a paragraph or two long that people can read .

In that same way. If someone is to ask and wants to understand more, I give them a short script a quick one took two minutes synopsis of what is important more importantly I ask specifics on what they’re trying to understand about the divorce.

Some people just want a story. Some people are actually trying to understand what to look out for in a marriage.

Ultimately, once you’ve gone through a divorce. It’s easy to have a lot more compassion on individuals who are going through it. No one Divorce is the same. But the ones that turned out to be the worst my heart goes out to them.

PlaystationSwitchAWD · 2026-04-12T16:22:44+00:00

My spouse committed financial, verbal, emotional, and immigration abuse against me. I pay for 70% of fixed bills, 75% of non-fixed bills, do most of home upkeep, and paid 85% of down payment for our home. She is a bully, hypocrite, narcissistic, dishonest, extremely controlling, and always the victim. We spent 10 years together including 4 as married. The goalposts are moving every single year in terms of her bad behavior. She even bullies her manager at work. i saw some warning signs in year 4 of relationship and told myself it was a one-off. The only good thing she does is pay 30% of the fixed bills (though that is decreasing) and when she is in a good mood, she is a pleasant and positive person. But the good moods are few and far between.

MiloGoesToPorridge · 2026-04-12T14:37:14+00:00

I'd have made a long, ranty, rambling essay here a year ago, but I've calmed right down and she no longer lives rent free in my head. Slating her to you guys just makes me feel a bit small now.

I'm still not keen on her and she'll never be a friend nor would I ever want her to be. She's got her life and I've got mine.

All I will say is, she was a very, very difficult person to be in a relationship/marriage with. If it wasn't for the fact that I got a lovely five year girl out of it, I'd have kept her at recreational single use.

suspicious_bag_1000 · 2026-04-12T10:29:10+00:00

I feel that’s what we do exclusively on this sub

LaCathedrale · 2026-04-12T06:24:24+00:00

STB/XW - she was the adult version of a manic-pixie-fairy-girl: emotionally volatile, impulsive, defensive and with a fragile ego. She wasn't able to have deep conversations, completely unable to take accountability or responsibility. She didn't have the integrity or courage to work on our relationship or even to wait until the dust had settled before fucking somebody else.

Apprehensive-Wish330 · 2026-04-12T06:09:48+00:00

STBX, I made a mistake. Never should’ve married her. I ignored what were very clear red flags because she was pretty, willing to fuck me after a few days, and different from my ex girlfriend.

Title	can we vent about our exs?
Author	ThrowAwayRomantic99
Upvotes	10
Comments	51
Date	April 12, 2026 5:30 AM UTC (4 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1sj5qad/can_we_vent_about_our_exs/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/can-we-vent-about-our-exs.1577733 https://theredarchive.com/post/1577733

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