does anyone escaping a toxic relationship ever regret getting divorced?

thefudmaster · 2022-01-31T01:58:39+00:00

Nope. I divorced and never looked back. Don’t regret not being around her cheating/nagging ass anymore.

AdultishRaktajino · 2022-01-31T02:41:17+00:00

I should've done it sooner.

senbonkagetora · 2022-01-31T02:59:58+00:00

Yes and no. Yes because I miss my son and step daughter terribly and now that the child support has finally gone through on her end she dropped off the face of the earth. (Bad cell reception is the excuse she uses that the courts accepted)

No because I had already been doing most of it all myself anyways and escaped being stuck with someone who would rather drag down than build up.

I do remember the good times, but they all revolve around the kids as the focal point. My ex and I had passable to decent times imo so I don't really miss her much. The routine I still do though and I'm working in getting over it.

AlexFromOgish · 2022-01-31T03:04:32+00:00

I worry a whole lot more about not learning and repeating past mistakes

ABBucsfan · 2022-01-31T04:33:56+00:00

She initiated, I only wish I could still be a full time dad, but I try to make the most of it when I have them, and make the most of having time to myself when I don't.

It's.hard for me to feel like I have any regrets. I feel like I pretty much left it all out there and did everything I could to try and make things right. Don't feel like I held anything back. Just was never good enough and comes down to her wanting someone I'm not at some point. She was very uncooperative with counselling and ha dno intention on ever trying to meet me halfway. I was pretty much at point I'd started living for everyone else and given up on personal happiness.

SilverknightFL · 2022-01-31T00:58:33+00:00

Yup. It's because psychologically humans tend to remember the good times. You actually have to force yourself to remember the bad time. How screwy is this? Literally had a dream that involved my ex two nights ago. Been divorced since 1995. Go figure.

hkbk2011 · 2022-01-31T03:22:54+00:00

I wish I never had kids with her. It would’ve been so much easier. Because she has the kids sometimes I do think about going back but then I tell myself don’t do that because you don’t wanna be depressed again.

NotUsedUsernameYet · 2022-01-31T07:53:06+00:00

First thing I did after found that wife cheated on me - opened OneNote and created a list. It was called “I don’t want to be with woman that…” List had 12-15 bullet points and infidelity was just one of them. Whenever I wanted to stop divorce process (she was begging me to) - I opened the list and read it. Divorce was the best decision in my life.

hombredelgato · 2022-01-31T13:25:41+00:00

One years since I filed. 9 month since divorce was final.

I have a better relationship with my kids. I have money in the bank. I have a vision for the future.

The regret of my life is that it took 22 years for me to find the strength to learn that I was worth more than being beaten down verbally and emotionally just to fund her insatiable need for validation and stuff. Learning about myself in the last two years has changed my entire life and I have no regrets about that.

Trytosurvive · 2022-01-31T08:51:44+00:00

Yes for about a year or two - she was real nasty. Once I rebuild myself up and stopped being co-dependent I am much happier now. I co-parent with exe and its super freeing not having any sort of romantic or validation (positive or negative) hang-ups. I could never imagine being with her again.

2022-01-31T05:56:22+00:00

NO!

It's natural to feel something about it during the process, but once you get out of the fog, you're golden.

Free yourself, free your sanity.

RStonePT · 2022-01-31T12:21:17+00:00

Ever hear of Learned Helplessness?

black65Cutlass · 2022-02-01T14:54:01+00:00

I don't. Not final yet, but I don't miss the wife's emotional drama. Suspect she is Borderline personality and it was the crappiest rollercoaster I have ever been on. She moved out and the drama left with her.

AlexFromOgish · 2022-01-31T03:29:23+00:00

If you got into the relationship in the first place to medicate some sort of problems in your mental health this is more likely. After you get away from the toxicity if the original problems are still there your tendency to look for someway to self medicate might send your brain full circle. The occasional wistful memory of the good times is normal but if it’s a recurring thundering thought I’d recommend getting with a therapist to sort out what’s going on before getting involved with anyone else

Jbr74 · 2022-01-31T18:26:11+00:00

Fluid_Requirement532 · 2022-02-03T22:43:45+00:00

Yes.

I regret not trying enough ( both of us ) to save our marriage. Looking back, if we truely got help though counselling , we may either still be together today. Or would look back knowing we did everything we would to be together .

TrollCityBlunder · 2022-02-09T03:35:16+00:00

I don’t regret getting divorced. I regret putting my parents in a position where they were emotionally abused. But it is what it is.

cdjohnny · 2022-02-01T02:45:20+00:00

Nope!!

Title	does anyone escaping a toxic relationship ever regret getting divorced?
Author	Super-Progress-6386
Upvotes	9
Comments	24
Date	January 31, 2022 12:53 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/sgnvxo/does_anyone_escaping_a_toxic_relationship_ever/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/does-anyone-escaping-a-toxic-relationship-ever.1098816 https://theredarchive.com/post/1098816

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