First night in new apartment

Icerunner45 · 2025-01-02T22:56:16+00:00

I don’t know about the moving out part since my stbx is the one who ran off. The kids part hits hard though. I have sole custody right now and it is crushing watching my youngest cry and ask me why his mother doesn’t love him anymore. Even with all the evil things she’s done to us, I still tell them we both love him and try to change the subject to cheer him up. She doesn’t have to see how much she’s hurt them. She probably doesn’t care either. She cares about hurting me and somehow that makes her feel better emotionally.

lonelySoulThrowAway · 2025-01-02T12:27:31+00:00

I remember shifting my house and in my mind it was like a battlefield. boxes and clothes capturing my beds and every floor section. First day I made a room by pushing all these unpacked stuff in one half of the bed. That room was my base of operations ... packing and storing stuff in proper place. Moved room to room like this and captured every inch of my new apartment. Took one week, fight was brutal, but I was trained hard by the meanest girl :)

Movieman_Steve · 2025-01-02T03:07:04+00:00

Be there for your kids. Get the apartment ready for them asap, in case they're able to spend the night sometime in the future. Going from a house that you lived in to an apartment is weird the first night- strange noises, new routine, really close next door neighbors. No kids here but trust me I know about house to apartment.

SeriousVacation1017 · 2025-01-02T02:27:14+00:00

I remember that feeling, the first night away. I just walked around the apartment going ... "whoa".... You'll settle in.

samk002001 · 2025-01-02T01:39:55+00:00

I turned myself to the sluttiest man that I ever could! I had sex with fat one, young one, skinny one, old one, etc.! Have been single for 2 years now! Take the necessary path to heal! I realized that I’m happier and richer to be single and my dad said the same, and he’s 65 and been divorce for 25 years

Cheap_House8696 · 2025-01-01T23:58:29+00:00

Dude why did you move out

cormacpara · 2025-01-01T20:21:21+00:00

I was there with you in the same place 3 years ago. Allow yourself to grieve and feel the emotions. Reach out to someone you can just talk to. Focus on the time with your kids when you have it. Get some sunshine and exercise if possible. This too shall pass and hopefully one day you’ll see there are actually some positives with your new situation. Sending you hugs man!

ovenface2000 · 2025-01-01T19:16:05+00:00

My advice is don’t rush anything, know that it’s totally cool to enjoy your own company and don’t put pressure on yourself.

You can get into things too quick, but more often than not, let everything change slowly. You’ll feel a lot more in control.

The kids on the phone, I remember that. It’s horrible. Just make the most of every second they are over. Get them to think of your new apartment as a second home, not “visiting Dad”. I probably messed up a bit and didn’t work hard enough on them feeling completely at home in my new place.

Other than that, enjoy your freedom, the quiet, and the mental clarity!

domo_roboto · 2025-01-01T18:53:57+00:00

I was on a mission. A mission of rebuilding and putting the broken pieces back together one step at a time. I kept busy and it made all the difference. Hit the gym, build, hit the gym, build.

salty-sheep-bah · 2025-01-01T18:38:42+00:00

When I went through this part of the divorce I really honed in on the kid's bedrooms. Took them out and let them pick some stuff out like curtains, bedding, some posters and whatnot.

I really disliked the idea of them sitting in these sterile empty rooms. It helped me take my mind of the isolation some and set some achievable goals.

But I also slept on a twin mattress on the floor for two years so don't forget to take care of your space too.

regertsrus · 2025-01-01T18:25:55+00:00

It will get worse and get better and worse and better. The goal is to take 1.2 steps forward for ever 1 step back. The kids will get used to it but your time to shine is when they realize that they want more time with you eventually when you right your ship. That's how a man does it.

Q-72 · 2025-01-01T18:14:47+00:00

it's not just an apartment. it's an important brick for your future, don't leave it messy with boxes. it will affect your mood, make it a joyful place for you and your kids. next step is the GYM if you didn't already start. you got this soldier.

Heavy_Guitar_4848 · 2025-01-01T17:52:08+00:00

Focus on making the apartment a comfortable environment for you and the kids. YMCA is awesome for spending time with the kids and just getting out of the house. I started on dating apps once I had the apartment set up, if for nothing else they’ll keep you busy once you get good at it.

FUMoney · 2025-01-01T17:45:50+00:00

Embrace peace, quiet, no more nagging and fights from the ex.

Mental_Antelope_7202 · 2025-01-01T17:27:50+00:00

Why did you move out prior to the divorce?

Title	First night in new apartment
Author	LionAR1999
Upvotes	13
Comments	20
Date	January 1, 2025 5:14 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1hr7ay6/first_night_in_new_apartment/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/first-night-in-new-apartment.1540112 https://theredarchive.com/post/1540112

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