Friends

Dizi357 · 2024-05-21T19:30:28+00:00

Just to play devil’s advocate that sometimes it’s the guys, not the girl that is the problem…

My stbxw had two guy friends, both of which would sometimes spend time with us both when we were together and claimed to want to be friends with me also. One of them she’s known for 20ish years (for context, she and I have only known each other for half that time), the other was our neighbor down the street.

We separated, and within 6mo both had made passes on her. Thankfully she turned them both down and is now down two of her “friends” (she called me to say how grossed out she was by each of them), but just goes to show you some guys can be friends for YEARS and are really just waiting for their moment. Both guys are also now dead to me, there’s just some things you never do and one of them is hit on a “friend’s” ex-wife.

Old-Macaroon8148 · 2024-05-19T15:36:12+00:00

Just friends aka waiting for your turn. The moment she starts complaining about her man to you is your opportunity.

My ex had a lot of guy friends, several were at our wedding. I found out over the years how many she had slept with at one point or another. Over the course of 4 years I probably shook hands with at least 9 guys she had slept with. And yeah, she definitely lied about her body count prior to us getting engaged.

If a woman has guy friends it’s buyer beware. I’m not talking about male acquaintances I’m talking about males that they speak to frequently and hang out with.

MidniteOG · 2024-05-19T06:29:31+00:00

Absolutely found this out the hard way… “just a friend” is code for “they’re my next choice”…

For me, “just a friend” turned into “I have developed feelings for them” in the shortest amount of time. Completely throwing away the last 11 years we shared

krazykanuck · 2024-05-17T23:28:19+00:00

But you say he’s just a friend, but you say he’s just a friend. OH BABY YOOOOU

FUMoney · 2024-05-17T22:40:43+00:00

This has nothing to do with the “friend.” This has everything to do with your spouse.

AttemptScary4550 · 2024-05-17T21:37:22+00:00

I'm grateful for the just a friend affair partner who saved me 20 years of grief and lies! I hate what my kids had to go through but now I'm on the other side and it is so much better for me and the kids!

Gattsama · 2024-05-17T21:32:35+00:00

NEVER blame the AP. There are 8 billion people on this planet and some of them are complete scum. You are going to meet bad people as you move through life. But they are NOT a part of your life. Your spouse is. Your spouse has free will and can make their own choices. If they choice to cheat, that is 100% on your spouse.

I'm a good looking guy, make excellent money, in great shape, and dress well (to be fair that last one is due to the eX ^_^). We use to travel the world, I did a ton of heavy lifting, she didn't work, no kids, etc. We had a great lifestyle and I have a high SMV. So women would flirt we me often when we were out. But I CHOOSE to never respond back to them. Life is about choices, there is no accidental cheating; and the AP are not to blame as they have no connection to you.

This is why cheating should equal automatic termination. Because it's not an accident, or a situation. It's a series of choices: to talk to the person, to get a hotel, to drive there, to get undressed, to blow him, to let him mount you, shower, drive home, make a cover story, lie lie and lie some more. There's not one failure, but a series of failures.

I hear people say 'home wrecker' a lot, but they put the term on the wrong person. The AP is not the home wrecker, the cheating partner is.

RevolutionaryAge8959 · 2024-05-17T21:26:32+00:00

The sooner you lost a wife like that the better, the new guy is just in line waiting for the same thing to happen to him

Reflog1791 · 2024-05-17T20:26:16+00:00

Replace disloyal ex wife, Make your life great and forget these two clowns. If you get buff and improve everything else in your life this turns into a GOOD thing.

questionoffitness · 2024-05-17T19:48:22+00:00

Your ex wasn't naïve or innocent about that though.. she likely invited them over with the intention of "getting to know them better".. and its possible she invited their advances, or did the advancing herself. ..

Equivalent_Rabbit_62 · 2024-05-17T19:39:00+00:00

Blame is also on the wife not just the AP.

salty-sheep-bah · 2024-05-17T20:48:55+00:00

She should read "Not Just Friends" as a prerequisite to staying married to you.

Title	Friends
Author	Last-Walrus-1686
Upvotes	13
Comments	20
Date	May 17, 2024 7:08 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1cudhr6/friends/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/friends.1518782 https://theredarchive.com/post/1518782

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