HELP! see comments!

Downtown_Wrongdoer32 · 2021-11-22T14:25:27+00:00

I’m forced to live in a relationship. My wife and her family continuously humiliates me, say demeaning things and even threatens me with going to the police with false accusations against me. Once my wife and I had an argument in a moving car and she opened the car door and deliberately started repeatedly screaming “help- he is hitting me” when infact we were having an argument on which I just mentioned that “I can’t live in this relationship anymore due to how she treats me”. I feel helpless as can’t be in this torturous relationship. I am based in Australia. Everytime I discuss about ending the marriage I get constant threats. I have even been accused of sleeping with my mother.

vector5633 · 2021-11-22T17:02:29+00:00

Do you have kids? If not, get the fuck out ASAP!!!!

cdjohnny · 2021-11-22T16:05:12+00:00

I would check the recording laws in your state, they vary in Australia. Having a recording of any false accusations or threats can protect you from future false claims. Even if the law says you can't record, there are cases where a judge will accept it when you have no other recourse. I'd also consult an attorney and ask them how you protect yourself going forward. Documentation, journals, etc. are key. Lastly, don't tipoff your wife.

jalopkoala · 2021-11-22T15:41:41+00:00

Do you have kids?

Maleficent_Theory_25 · 2021-11-22T17:40:06+00:00

GET THE FUCK OUT NOW. THIS WOMAN IS A MENTALLY ILL NUTTER AND PROBABLY SOCIOPATHIC.

yes all caps is warranted to emphasize urgency.

xoxoLizzyoxox · 2021-11-22T23:07:23+00:00

Im in Australia. You can start making police reports about the abuse. They will keep a record just go to a police station. You can also ask for a restraining order against her and her family if you can get proof that you are being threatened in any way. They don't just hand protection orders out like they do in America. You have many resources available to you. What state are you in, do you own property together do you have kids? Anything that will become a hurdle of being free of her. You need to ask the police about what you can do as you are being forced with blackmail. If you reside together you can ask for a stay, this is where police will come with you to the house and they all have body cams. You can remove your belongings. Move all your documents etc to a safe place away from her, they are replaceable but thats annoying to do and she could try identity theft etc.

Future-Platform8225 · 2021-11-23T02:54:20+00:00

Leave yesterday brother. No money,house or anything is worth anything like that. If you have kids craft a plan and execute to get them out of there.

Downtown_Wrongdoer32 · 2021-11-23T12:55:40+00:00

Thank you everyone. The comments helped me build a bit of confidence that I can do it. I have no kids and that has been the hot topic for a few months with her insisting me to have kids. I have already separated the bank accounts a few months ago. She use to threaten me that she’ll transfer the money and I will be left with nothing. I used that as an excuse to separate the bank accounts. She has turned all my friends away from me- she tells that that how I have made her life hell just by standing up for myself at times. I have been underestimated every single thing I do or for every single thing I don’t do. e.g. I work from home due to COVID. None of my office staff has returned to work due to my employer being quite flexible with it. She has a problem with it and tells around people that I don’t do anything and sits at home all day. Expects me to do all the work as she goes to work and I am at home all day.

Blueboat2 · 2021-11-22T16:56:40+00:00

Leave.

SwamiSweatSocks · 2021-11-22T17:09:40+00:00

You're probably going to end up in court sometime. Get documented evidence of her behavior. Does she have a psychiatric history? Are there witnesses that can go on the stand and testify for you? I have no idea the rules there for video recording so be careful with that but it may be an option. If it's just your word against hers that can be a problem. If you separate and have to meet with her, make sure others are present, public place meeting maybe with security cameras like the court house. Watch your butt because I see trouble for you in the future, she'll probably try and get a protective order against you in court so document everything you can. Think about what you say to her because it can be used against you in court.

RxRobb · 2021-11-22T22:57:53+00:00

Record everything? How hard is that ? Take it to the police after saying your afraid for your life

Ok_August1982 · 2021-11-23T01:35:17+00:00

Find a way to document everything so you have proof and they'll know she is lying. Do what you can to get out of this situation.

Gattsama · 2021-11-23T05:59:20+00:00

You do NOT need to discuss ending the relationship. You just need to do it. You'll hear different advise about leaving the house, or abandonment... forget that noise. You can't put a price on peace and happiness. Just leave!

You can serve her later. Save or transfer money, open a new account for your future pay checks, and leave. YES there will be consequences to this, they don't really matter. You didn't talk about kids, age, length of marriage, state, etc. But escape is the only way.

Also start recording interactions, so if she later claims abuse you have some proof / defensive. BUT check the laws in your area first.

Main advise is to escape yesterday.

pacinor · 2021-11-25T17:23:16+00:00

Walk away. Don’t say anything, don’t take anything. Get a new bank and have your pay put there. Then file for divorce. Most importantly, NEVER SPEAK TO HER WITHOUT A FRIENDLY WITNESS!!! And that’s only if you have to talk to her. If you can communicate through a lawyer that would be best.

This may seem harsh but compare that to being falsely accused and arrested for a crime. Don’t give her or her family anything to use against you. Keep your head down until the divorce is finalized.

Edit: spelling

Title	HELP! see comments!
Author	Downtown_Wrongdoer32
Upvotes	17
Comments	27
Date	November 22, 2021 2:25 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/qzmk1s/help_see_comments/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/help-see-comments.1087169 https://theredarchive.com/post/1087169

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