Just sitting here thinking.

Professional-Lab-157 · 2023-12-27T17:46:58+00:00

UpdateMe!

Kwen_Oellogg · 2023-12-27T09:50:19+00:00

UpdateMe!

Sock_Eating_Golden · 2023-12-27T03:07:00+00:00

I have no suggestions. Just know there's another divorced man in Ohio that cares about you. Take life one breath at a time right now. Sometimes that's all we have.

upvotersfortruth · 2023-12-27T02:02:35+00:00

Sitting and thinking never goes well for me. Walking and thinking or driving and thinking seem to yield more positive results or at least prevent spiralling.

PenelopeShoots · 2023-12-27T00:00:15+00:00

Tell your parents they can pick you or her, but they can't force you to continue a relationship with a liar who tricked you, cheated, continued to keep the lie going for YEARS (deceiving EVERYONE), still works with the other guy, etc. You won't grow old with her, have more kids with her (she didn't even bother to give you a kid of your own, she had her boyfriend's kid for him, tricked you into raising it, and never thought you were worth your own legacy). She will want your help (financial and social- being a single mother is hard) but she doesn't love or respect you, and if your parents don't want better for you, they suck as parents. They just want their "grandkid" and aren't thinking about you at all.

I have two sons, and if they came to me and said they want to leave their wife because she cheated and their kid isn't his, I'd be grateful that he has the opportunity for a clean break (no kids with her that are actually his) and would support him leaving and finding someone who respects him and wouldn't do this to him in a million years. I would NEVER ask him to martyr himself to keep HER life going the same... he's not her ATM or slave. She has to figure it out now, and frankly, she had it easy for five years that were undeserved. I mean, she knew it was probably the other guy's, and didn't abort it for your sake? She wanted to have that guy's baby.

SpiritualEnema · 2023-12-26T23:26:54+00:00

I don’t know man. I could never trust her again, or even look at her, after essentially lying to your face about raising another man’s child.

I don’t believe that she didn’t know. She did, or at least strongly suspected

darweter_DPI · 2023-12-26T22:23:02+00:00

What parents want is irrelevant. Does she want it (to seat with marriage councellor)? Because if she does not, it would be wiser to seek an attorney.

Educational_South_65 · 2023-12-26T21:28:54+00:00

Your daughter adores you - I can definitely relate.

mixturedd · 2023-12-26T20:58:18+00:00

Find yourself a counseller too. It’s something you’ll need no matter what happens and whoever’s alt it is you’ll both be partly to blame so you’ll potentially need to work on something as she will. Your daughter will always be yours. Be the best parent you can be as I can see she means the world to you. Self care, self improvement are all important

ultrasuperthrowaway · 2023-12-26T20:53:20+00:00

Find a good attorney.

Women choose attorneys based on gender and emotions so they will easily lose when you choose a better attorney.

I destroyed my ex in the divorce settlement process and got tons of money and more time with the kids

You can win if you don’t let emotions cloud your mind.

GrimloxGoldilox · 2023-12-26T20:39:36+00:00

Misery is company. Been lurking on this forum for a while too. Share your pain with others, there's comfort to that.

Professional-Lab-157 · 2023-12-26T19:54:04+00:00

He's trying to help. Tell your Dad you just need his support and love right now. God may hate divorce, but he allows it for adultery. Just remember your parents have also lost a daughter in law and a granddaughter too. They may push hard for yall to reconcile.

bosshawg450 · 2023-12-26T19:53:20+00:00

I have only talked back to my father once in my life and I am 40 the 1st time I did it was in a similar situation. When I raised my voice he shut up real quick and realized I wasn’t gonna be learning from him on this subject anymore and asked what I needed.

New-Amoeba9042 · 2023-12-26T19:44:16+00:00

Yup, my wife went out with her friends to a bar and hooked up with a stranger, and like that, 9 years was over.

The closest she gave for a reason was ‘you made your life about me, and it put too much pressure on me’

Cheap_Baseball3609 · 2023-12-26T19:31:29+00:00

It is tough. I agree with the other poster. Men aren’t taught how to nurture relationships. And it also depends on the women you are with.

Tricky_Somewhere7901 · 2023-12-26T18:50:51+00:00

All the time. Personally speaking, my big take away is that more of us men need to be taught at a younger age that relationships are like gardens. They must be sowed, cultivated, fertilized, tilled, harvested and generally just maintained so as to keep on producing fruits. Sometimes, outside of your own control a pest comes or an early frost and wrecks havoc on your garden. Careful and regular inspection of the garden and it's environment is necessary in order for it to be around for the long haul. Not having a present/capable father to teach me many of these things has really done a number on me.

Edit:grammar/spelling

Title	Just sitting here thinking.
Author	Terrible-Link2836
Upvotes	49
Comments	44
Date	December 26, 2023 6:36 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/18retlj/just_sitting_here_thinking/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/just-sitting-here-thinking.1241593 https://theredarchive.com/post/1241593

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