It could be other things from this weke as well, as prior thinking blackout and discussing it with my therapist I felt positive. But actually telling her and continuing to adjust our dynamic,note not the word "relationship" but that is another topic even if it's was viewew by me as friendship..

The boundary, she would simply announce that she would be coming over, elususly before work as she works close to me. To see the pets, they were ours though I do everything so I view them now as mine.

She did this again earlier and out of habit I said sure and didn't start the topic... Later, being irritated i sent a short simple text that in the future she would need to ask to come over and not just announce do as she had. She said oh okay I'll be mindful of that.

So no push back to arguing. As a start it's positive. But this boundary is new and will be tested.. Other ones I've set, her doing her own med injections . Not out of anger but she's capable to do so, nor is it my role anymore. Her venting about shit at work etc,, I its "oh I see" then move onto a different topic. She's not asking advice or even broaching " hey can I vent a min,like wise you could too after" NOPE.

This my men is about considerations and they are not being given to me. She [and likely) your ex expects to have the same access to us and our emotional support and energy.