Am I doing online dating wrong?

2025-03-18T20:46:19+00:00

It became popular.

Paradox of choice is a thing. All it takes is for a girl to get 10 likes. And statistically speaking, one of those ten will look more inviting than you.

duketool1011 · 2025-03-14T21:20:35+00:00

I can't offer advice since I'm not on any apps, but I can tell you everything that I see and read about it. The prevailing storyline is that women are saturated with messages, so they get overwhelmed. The data also suggests that most women swipe left on 85%-95% of profiles. So from a woman's perspective, it's a buyers market.

Ok_Builder_3285 · 2025-03-14T20:15:01+00:00

I'm at five and a half years without a single date. I go to every social thing that I get invited to. I exercise nearly every day. I have a good job. Not a single woman will have a drink or a cup of coffee with me in five and a half years of trying.

Dating does not exist unless you're an adonis or independently wealthy (if you are either of those things you must be at least 6'2").

HedgeRunner · 2025-03-13T19:35:18+00:00

No you're not. Basically for online dating, the ratio is 97 simps, 1 chad, 1 you, and 1 woman. Out of every 100 woman, 2 are not delusional.

Men should be copy-pasta this shit everywhere but it's banned on most Reddits and most forums.

At the end of the day, it's just some simple math. :)

zoneoftheendersHD · 2025-03-13T03:02:48+00:00

You might need to consider opportunities abroad. While I’m not trying to be a typical passport bro, I’m quite content dating outside of America, particularly in the Philippines. I’ve met someone my age, and we’re progressing at a relaxed pace. Just weed out scammers.

SireSweet · 2025-03-13T01:30:04+00:00

Dating apps are pay to win.

Older women aren’t the same as younger women either.

Dating these days aren’t the same as years ago. Not by a long shot.

Expert-Raccoon6097 · 2025-03-12T23:52:58+00:00

Don't waste your time and money on apps. Plenty of cuties in the real world to hookup with. If she's hot and she gives you choosing signals ask her out and go have fun.

jasoncb123 · 2025-03-12T23:52:37+00:00

It’s online attention seeking, not dating like it says

idiskfla · 2025-03-12T23:30:44+00:00

It’s harder, and you’re also 13 years older.

Special_Profit4509 · 2025-03-12T22:44:53+00:00

So dating apps don't make money if you find someone soon. They are literally honey pots unless you buy the ultra premium versions. Bro go to barns and nobles and buy a girl a book and coffee. See if she don't perk up more than a girl at a bar or a bot on a dating sight.

blinkyvx · 2025-03-12T21:03:32+00:00

I also try finding women in the real world and that's nothing yet... next I guess is speed dating thst tantra thing perhaps

Impressive_Camel_151 · 2025-03-12T20:59:06+00:00

Get an escort. It’s a business transaction and you don’t have to deal with the bs of dating apps. I mean after dinner, movie, etc.. you still paying for it. At least with the escort, you don’t have to faje like you’re interested fake liking them.

netboygold · 2025-03-12T20:58:20+00:00

My advice would be to get yourself mentally acquainted with being alone and get yourself to where you're okay and can be happy being alone, because you're going to be alone.

badcreddit690 · 2025-03-12T20:48:42+00:00

Rich coopers unplugged alpha book has a section specifically for this. You might check that out.

mwalter2747 · 2025-03-12T19:15:15+00:00

Are you ugly? Genuine question, not being insulting

Startingthisover · 2025-03-12T19:10:46+00:00

Take pics in front of your Lamborghini

CatsAndCradle · 2025-03-12T18:35:49+00:00

The best thing I can suggest in this day and age is just keep pushing. Or look for local singles events in person. Truth is, women's dating apps are flooded to the point it's kind of a toss up if they will see you. And that's if you're paying to move to the front of the line. If you're going for free, you have an even steeper Hill to climb. Didn't take it personally, is just the nature of the dating apps. Women are overwhelmed and mostly go on when they are bored these days

crzapy · 2025-03-12T18:33:41+00:00

I've had luck.

I had zero interest on Tinder, but Bumble has worked.

I've had dates and now I have a girlfriend.

I was upfront and honest, and I matched with women a bit older than myself.

I'm 44, and she's 50, but she appreciates me.

I'm not great looking (overweight and bald), but I'm funny and tall, and that seems to help.

NewDay0110 · 2025-03-12T18:22:32+00:00

Online dating is broken.

regertsrus · 2025-03-12T17:50:45+00:00

Ironically it was okcupid that worked for me. The other apps were terrible. FB dating is no good. If its free then avoid it. Pay for the app is my recommendation.

Reflog1791 · 2025-03-12T17:49:37+00:00

You have to get buff. Optimize your profile. I don’t know anything about Facebook dating but once your buff and have good pics (helps to have a female review your profile), you vault to the fabled top 10%. It took me like three months of trial and error to figure it out. Plus I was getting buff in those three months. 25 push-ups first thing in the morning a good place to start.

Helpful-Paramedic463 · 2025-03-12T17:43:56+00:00

What I've read about the paid apps is they build an algorithm off the women you like and then make sure all the ones who fit your profile are hidden from you. They do this so you pay for the service. That's the business model for the paid apps.

I've heard good things about Facebook dating though. Are your pictures up to date?

Dance4theSmokers · 2025-03-12T17:41:01+00:00

Post Covid it’s been worse than it’s ever been for men. My best success was Facebook dating because it was free and has a large number of women due to the platform. I managed a good 20+ first dates from FB dating alone while on Hinge, Bumble, Tinder I did awful. Eharmony was also not bad but it wasn’t free. But yeah it overall has not been the best and I prefer just randomly flirting in person now more so than anything

THX1138-22 · 2025-03-12T17:38:07+00:00

Dating is work. Men have a 1-3% response rate, so you need to send out 100 likes to get one back. I sent out about 2000, I think, over about 2 yrs.

I had about 2-5 dates a week.

Dating is also expensive-almost all women expect you to pay. I think I spent about 7-10k to pay for their meals and mine.

But, it worked. I was in several relationships that lasted for a few months, and after reading Gatekeepers by Shawn Smith, have now found a wonderful partner who is sexually generous, attractive, fun to be with, intelligent , and financially independent. While no one can predict the future, I’m grateful for every day together. But it took a lot of work—2,000+ likes, about 100 chats and over 50 first dates—maybe about 200 dates total (that I paid for). If you don’t put in the work, it probably won’t happen, or you may get lucky.

Rando_Ricketts · 2025-03-12T17:27:22+00:00

I think it’s just the state of the world these days

pikohina · 2025-03-12T17:14:29+00:00

Maybe 40+yo women expect you to edit and use spellcorrect?

Title	Am I doing online dating wrong?
Author	blinkyvx
Upvotes	15
Comments	95
Date	March 12, 2025 5:09 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1j9p39t/am_i_doing_online_dating_wrong/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/am-i-doing-online-dating-wrong.1546355 https://theredarchive.com/post/1546355

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