Men divorced for a long time

smitty537 · 2023-08-05T21:43:32+00:00

I got divorced in 1993 and I've been having a hell of a time since then. Travel, dating, learning how to fly a plane, learning to play guitar, restoring my antique Harleys.

In November I'll be in the Philippines for 6 months to get away from the cold in the north east US. I've already found a volunteer position at an animal shelter, found housing and now I'm looking for a scooter for transportation.

I'm 60 years old, retired and I'm never getting married again. Having to much fun.

Lumptbuttcat · 2023-08-05T23:21:22+00:00

Life’s just choices and trade-offs. The hard part is if you choose to pursue another relationship. Dating pool is full of societally damaged women with exes and f’d up kids in tow.

MNCPA · 2023-08-05T21:14:47+00:00

You find peace. Men have fought since the beginning of time for peace. Now you have it. Enjoy.

rocketlaunchedducks · 2023-08-06T00:51:52+00:00

It comes in waves. One month I'm loving my independence. The next I miss partnership and companionship. Summer (when families vacation at the beach together) and the holidays are the worst. I know each sad period will end... and I also know it will come back. That's just life when you had big dreams and things go sideways. Just gotta find happiness in what you DO have.

rsmiley77 · 2023-08-06T02:41:12+00:00

I almost posted a reminder tonight that divorce is a marathon it is not a sprint and for guys, we are the marathon runners... Women are mostly sprinters. In the first part of a divorce, women have the world as their playground. I could be mean and go through the reasons why but I am not going to. We know what they are. The farther from the divorce though us men get stronger. Women peak early. Men, if we are smart, peak later. I don't make the rules...

As for me, I am in a five-year relationship with an awesome woman who has her own house around 15 minutes from mine. Her superpower is looking AMAZING in a swimsuit. Both of us enjoy our freedom and have no plans anytime soon to move in together as we both have kids and lives. I have the best of both worlds right now. Just enough of a relationship to keep me happy but also fifty percent of the time I have an empty house that is just my own.... Here's the thing once you are free from the divorce struggle, the rest of your life is what you choose to make it. It is totally up to you.

coffeefrog92 · 2023-08-05T22:36:32+00:00

Legally speaking, I've only been divorced about a week. But I've been separated over a year, which is still probably not what you'd consider long.

I made a post about this recently but I'm already finding that I catch myself wondering if it would be nice to have a woman around again. But I always remind myself about the attendant trouble.

It's a tough one. As men we seem to yearn and even fight for freedom, but once we've had it for a while we will find something else to chain ourselves to.

Stryctly-speaking · 2023-08-06T06:30:59+00:00

No. Being single gets easier with time. Getting back out there gets harder the longer you go without.

dnbndnb · 2023-08-06T09:07:36+00:00

I’m now only 26 months post breakup. I spent a good part of that time seeking to understand the “why” so I might never be tempted to repeat the same mistake. I’m just one of those guys who needs “the answer”. As a result, I 99.99% believe I’ll never marry again. Heck at this time I’m trying to motivate myself to try dating again. Life is so much simpler now. Wake/sleep/nap as I choose. Eat when/what I choose. Do or not do what I please. I can say the first 15-18 months was rough and kind of listless. Now? Never going back there.

JustAnotherBoomer · 2023-08-06T06:49:14+00:00

For every one of us, there are two married men with wives waiting and hoping for the day these dudes die.

WonderfulProcess3080 · 2023-08-06T20:40:49+00:00

Yea most men get married because we have values and want to do the right thing believe in reproduction family and legacy But going through a divorce myself now I understand you have to look at it more like buisness than a love fairy tale

DocHolliday80 · 2023-08-06T23:14:42+00:00

18 months after breakup and 7 after divorce was final.

In my case, I valued a lot the freedom and peace that I got when she left, no more being shouted at, scolded, … I spent more time with my hobbies, started working out,… It was fine for the first year.

Afterwards, I got used to freedom and peace, and now I feel lonely and depressed most of the time. I feel you when you say you have no game, I am the same, dating has been awful and scarce, I don’t think I will find a girlfriend anytime soon.

I wish things could be as great for me as they are for the other posters.

Title	Men divorced for a long time
Author	NoFee4026
Upvotes	18
Comments	25
Date	August 5, 2023 9:04 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/15j6osj/men_divorced_for_a_long_time/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/men-divorced-for-a-long-time.1227687 https://theredarchive.com/post/1227687

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