Post-divorce intimacy

DivorceCharacter512 · 2025-02-01T04:04:08+00:00

Its all in your head. Just take the generic viagra and get over the hill of first bang. Condoms also suck. Those take some getting used to.

SquirmingCoil13 · 2025-02-01T02:45:05+00:00

Same thing happened to me and pretty sure it’s why she broke it off. It was both of our first times after divorce and we got pretty drunk. I never had that issue before, usually the exact opposite. I’m taking a break from dating and drinking for a while as a result.

No-Walk-1633 · 2025-01-31T22:33:16+00:00

Perhaps lay off the thc? I like it too, but it is known to cause this problem.

Fyfel · 2025-01-31T18:43:27+00:00

Fairly common and pretty normal. A lot of it is from the emotional trauma from divorce. Take the pills as directed and you should be good.

Apprehensive_Park392 · 2025-01-31T01:27:12+00:00

You’re simply not ready.

Instead of diving into the dating world, take time off to heal. Whether you admit it or not you have been through a traumatic experience. Having your marriage go kablooey is no small thing. Dating should be the last thing you should be thinking about.

Get into some counseling and TALK to someone. This can help you gain and maintain some clarity as you move forward with your new life. After you are through mourning the loss of your marriage, then you can dip your toe into the dating pool.

regertsrus · 2025-01-31T00:21:12+00:00

Happen to me first time after a bitter and traumatic divorce. I was half hard. It got better over time. I thought it was caused by the fact that sleeping with another woman was solidifying my exit. I was anxious. You have to let go of the anxiety. You have to want the puss and not just the connection. If you get hard to porn but not to this woman its because your mind is cokblocking you. You have to let go of the past.

Efficient-Mango7708 · 2025-01-30T18:00:26+00:00

I have never had issues like this but I take a sari, not a ssri these can have an impact on libido and ED. I definitely noticed a change. That’s the first thing to rule out. I see people mention alcohol, but if I’m reading your post correctly it says daily thc user. This is another thing to try to cut back on. If the issue persists you can also try watermelon as it has amino acids that help with blood flow, additionally fish oil can thin your blood. Or you can pop a pill. Finally there is a potential you are just not sexually compatible. I wish I had figured this out earlier, don’t get stuck in a dead bedroom because that is a shitty path I know very well.

Pro-IDGAF · 2025-01-30T15:46:38+00:00

my head wasnt right for sex for awhile. it takes alot of mental improvement for sex after divorce. pills wont help if your head is a dumpster fire.

i’ve had success and failure on drugs and booze so its not that. its always in my head. being 58 and having a touch of BPH got my into cialis which helped alot but i still have to feel good about the relationship and myself.

women will definitely take it personally no matter what they say. its amazing how they are about that.

FSDivorceCoach · 2025-01-30T14:24:24+00:00

Don't be embarrassed. If she's an adult,she gets it. You're all up in your head and tbh, that's a terrifying place for most of us post divorce..get the hell out of there!

Also, depending on how old you are, you might need to start some TRT. Most men closing in on 40 need it. No biggie. Cialis is really great for you too. It's not just for the "strong like bull" situation, but helps you with all over cardiovascular health. Read up on it and talk to somebody.

Not to be cheesy, but this era in your life is all about you. Be selfish. Think about you, how you can be your best self, what really drives you, and have some fun!

You're just fine. Hold your head high, puff your chest. Remember all the things that make you a great man. Deep breath. No go be kinda slutty. 😜

tragicaddiction · 2025-01-30T14:21:57+00:00

Converse with her that you are a bit worried about intimacy, that she is the first one after so long and you are nervous. You can do other intimacy stuff, making out, kissing, caressing etc

Otherwise she will think it’s all about her as every women does if a guy can’t get hard instantly and maintain a iron wood erection,

ExaminationKlutzy194 · 2025-01-30T12:41:45+00:00

It happens. Take the pills ahead of time. Lay off the booze and keep on the workout like you are doing. - Older Dude advice.

ghostiewm · 2025-01-30T12:00:16+00:00

Sounds like it's more an emotional issue than a physical issue, and performance anxiety is getting you down. This is common.

Perhaps you can focus on the nonpenetration parts of sexual intimacy. Get to know her body, share your body with her. Use your non dick parts. Slow it down. Usually that will get you out of your head, and your blood will flow naturally.

Negative_Comfort6848 · 2025-01-30T11:48:27+00:00

It happens often. For me drinking too much alcohol beforehand was always a recipe for chaos. Alcohol and to the fact I had to get used to condoms was a post-divorce intimacy nightmare.

This is mostly a mental blocker - remove the pressure from yourself, eat well and avoid as much as possible alcohol (if you have to drink socially keep a very slow pace).

Also, try to avoid porn if that's the case. This shit get many people addicted.

ElFrijole · 2025-01-30T05:24:30+00:00

Bro it happens don't be discouraged I started having issues during my marriage and couldn't figure out why. Took it out on my self pretty bad so I got 9mg tadalafil from blue chew when I started dating again The first time I took it I felt like I was 16 again so many rounds we lost count. I will say I don't take it on the regular anymore and don't have the ed issue anymore. I honestly think it was the issues in my marriage that caused it. I do pop one on occasion when I want to give myself a lil support 😂 have fun and enjoy

Spudlink9 · 2025-01-30T03:08:03+00:00

Dude pop Viagra before you go out and take all the worry away. After a couple times your confidence will be back and all is good. Just take away any doubt whatsoever and enjoy yourself.

THX1138-22 · 2025-01-30T02:59:59+00:00

I usually tell a partner that I will have ED the first few times. That reduces the stress a bit and is a good way to see how empathic she is. There are a lot of other things to do (you can read a book on tantra to get some ideas) and as long as you keep it light and fun, it becomes less stressful.

Title	Post-divorce intimacy
Author	throwaway86753_0
Upvotes	8
Comments	19
Date	January 30, 2025 1:23 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1idaihw/postdivorce_intimacy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/post-divorce-intimacy.1542515 https://theredarchive.com/post/1542515

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