Self respect

Jbr74 · 2023-11-10T20:20:30+00:00

Well, if I had $1 for every time I heard your story, I'd buy your home.

Welcome to the club, sorry you are here.

Adventurous_Tie_4464 · 2023-11-10T21:34:44+00:00

Having been thru this divorce he’ll with teens I would flip the script. Make sure you have some assets in your own name and start working on yourself like you already are. In the real world a hard working guy with an awesome job is the Alpha Dog. If you went on a dating app you would be getting laid like tile. You probably need to separate from her emotionally and start having some fun. Kids turn 18 get a bull dog litigator and fight for yours. Get her working and if necessary retire tommorow

upfnothing · 2023-11-10T20:50:24+00:00

Welcome. Your ex-wife is now for the streets. Gym, no booze, therapy. Fill out your divorced tax form and take a number

MartyMcFly7 · 2023-11-11T00:57:01+00:00

Once she's lost interest, there's not much you can besides finding someone who IS interested.

The good news is, there are millions of women who have also dumped their husbands only to discover single life isn't what it's cracked up to be. She'll slowly grow tired of meeting all the men on dating sites who are there for a reason (each time, discovering new problems she never even knew existed), only to end up missing the simple stability she once had. Of course, rather than ever admitting she was wrong, she'll keep hoping to recapture what she once had with someone new.

Meanwhile, all these other women will be clamoring for you because you actually have your shit together. A newly divorced man is like a new home coming onto the market -- women want to get to you before everyone anyone does.

You'll move on and she'll see you're actually much happier with your new younger, thinner, more attractive girlfriend, and she'll realize you'd never take her back now that you've upgraded (and after she burned you during the divorce).

Bottom line: you can't negotiate attraction. It's easier to find someone new who appreciates you than to try to "convert the nonbeliever."

If you try to convince her, you'll only become less attractive. The only and best thing you can do is be okay with it. As in, "If you think a divorce and a new relationship will make you happy, then I'll support your decision." It won't, but you won't be able to convince her otherwise. She needs to learn from experience.

Reflog1791 · 2023-11-10T21:19:43+00:00

You’re a legend. I hope to be like you one day.

Don’t take her affair personally. You’ve been together for 30 years!! You’re still the alpha dog.

I wouldn’t light the fire under a squeaky clean financial setup. Divorcing has cost many a good man his job and children too.

I’m going to suggest something that might make your skin crawl. Switch up your habits and go out with the guys. Have friendly chats with women. Smile and flirt with them. When your wife is around in public have a big old smile. If she nags you about checking women out, as wives always do when some woman checks you out (or really when a more attractive woman is in the vicinity) just act all flattered.

Basically dabble your toe in the water. It’ll let your wife know she’s knocked off the pedestal.

In the red pill, this is known as dread game. It works. By the time you see this working the lesson you learn is, I’ll be good with or without her. At that point she will guard you jealously.

You may be willing to part with your $$$ when your worldview shifts.

Everyonelookatme1 · 2023-11-11T00:44:25+00:00

You sound like a badass. I hope you are glad and proud of your accomplishments.

I don’t have what it takes to be an alpha like this. I for one am far too lazy and Entitled to do the real work required to build a company. Anything over 40 hours a week and I get pissed off that I’m being enslaved 😜

Sorry your wife got bored like this. It really is a shame but the common theme is: be a jerk and she leaves you for being a narcissistic jerk. Be a nice guy and she leaves you for being boring. There’s no winning with women nowadays. I am actively working on not needing one period

techrmd3 · 2023-11-10T23:02:13+00:00

Start concentrating on what you can do today.

Today you can learn more about how women think and sharpen up on your social skills towards women (because, yep you may be dating again)

Today you can continue to self improve and be the best version of yourself.

Today you can explore other parts of life to have something to fall back on if this goes south.

TODAY you can realize that if female nature is any guide. Just thinking your wife was in "only emotional affair" is probably very naive. Women don't take chances like this unless it's real in some way... sorry to relate that but it's true.

2023-11-11T00:50:14+00:00

Wait till she starts gaslighting you…that what you did isn’t worth anything. That’s their next step.

BurnDownTheMission68 · 2023-11-11T12:25:53+00:00

“Emotional affairs” are bullshit. Adults fuck.

It’s a way of explaining away the affair.

hogger303 · 2023-11-11T15:24:56+00:00

It’s a classic case of walk away wife syndrome.
You need to do a hard 180, search it if you aren’t sure how to do it.
Do what I’d best for YOU. Work on being the best version of YOU.
Go full grey rock & show her what life without you actually looks like.

DivorceTA1988 · 2023-11-11T20:36:16+00:00

She’s getting your money either way. Staying with you for support and stability while checking out, not participating in intimacy (and I mean most forms of physical affection) and living off in fantasy land where some other man is price charming. They want to have their cake and eat it too.

My wife left me for someone unavailable but she decided chasing that new relationship energy was more important than me and her two kids. She moved out to pursue other relationships but tried to come crawling back when it turns out the fantasy isn’t reality and gee whiz, I did a whole crap ton of stuff to support her. Nope, not going back there,

Move on - money is money she’s spending it right now anyway isn’t she! You get to keep your half and do whatever the F you want with it. When you’re ready find someone that wants to be with you. Don’t let this woman keep you from finding someone else when all she wants is your paycheck and your safety.

SCO77_SCARCIA · 2023-11-11T23:39:47+00:00

As a single 30 year old man, who has his life together on every facet — posts like this are a prime example how women cannot be satisfied in this modern era with their hypergamous nature. Also why I’m steering clear of marriage for the foreseeable future (at least with a women in the west).

You sound like an absolute Chad and an excellent father + provider. Seriously blows my mind women operate like this.

I wish you all the luck and strength in the world man. Hopefully you had a prenup created before marriage.

RevolutionaryLaw8854 · 2023-11-14T02:33:38+00:00

Time to go. She overstayed her welcome.

My divorce was very similar to yours on all accounts. It’s not going to be cheap.

But, you will financially recover.

Had I divorced when I discovers her first affair, I would be done paying alimony now. Instead, we stayed together until I found another affair 8 years later.

So, now I get more years of alimony and she got even more money from me.

That being said, 6 years later - I’m back where I started. And my income went from $450 to to just shy of $1M. And she gets none of that. That alimony check is easy to write now. Just 4.5 years to go.

whiskey_piker · 2023-11-11T01:02:13+00:00

Boot her into the workforce stat. Get her 12mos or so of work time, pay down debt, restructure some assets, better forecast planning for the divorce.

takeitback2021 · 2023-11-11T04:16:13+00:00

Check out some of the red pill subreddits. They have some really good reading recommendations.

You clearly have your shit together. You are making healthy choices and already starting the dread. One way or another, it will come to a conclusion. The stay plan is the go plan. She will either get on board and follow you, or not. But there will be a point where it won't matter to you. I do think there is something to this, although I'm only about 6 weeks in and have a long way to go to unfuck myself.

One quote that has been an eye opener and admittedly still bothers me is "women love opportunistically". It really sucks because we're the ones that get all sappy and romantic. They are constantly seeking the best option even if they aren't aware of it. Hypergamy is a real bitch.

I hope this all works for out for you.

Attentionless · 2023-11-11T14:02:16+00:00

I'm getting divorced I don't care about being halved etc.

I have more fun with my 24 year old girlfriend in one year then 10 years with my stbxw. Good luck

pk2at · 2023-11-10T21:46:03+00:00

Can you get her to sign something? Post-nup or legal separation? You will be ruined if you are asked to give her $2.4M+ lump sum which seems likely. I would work on getting two signatures from her vs. wasting your time in the Gym or trying to repair the relationship.

AbroadDelicious4931 · 2023-11-13T06:02:04+00:00

Bro get a hooker

Title	Self respect
Author	P_Galley
Upvotes	45
Comments	34
Date	November 10, 2023 8:12 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/17sco0f/self_respect/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/self-respect.1238056 https://theredarchive.com/post/1238056

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