Worth the trouble (shack up)

regertsrus · 2024-12-11T13:14:36+00:00

Courts are powerless when it comes to morality. They can only enforce payment, orders and protect from violence.
A few days ago I proved once again that my wife is a manipulative liar and this time blackmailed my kids into giving her new verbally abusive boyfriend a 2nd chance. She threatened to return their puppy unless they apologized to him and told the child lawyer that they are not angry at him anymore. The child lawyer just shrugged her shoulders and told me there is nothing she can do because blackmailing children and lying is not illegal in family court. I hope this gives you some insight into the system you are relying upon

JD-Anderson · 2024-12-11T01:43:37+00:00

Morality clause, and I got a contempt verdict out of it. But there was a lot more to go to court for other than just that.

Content-Class1259 · 2024-12-10T23:31:22+00:00

I thought a divorce meant you go your own way and make your own choices? I’m divorced, I’ll live where and with whoever I like. No ownership on products after divorce, it’s a return of faulty goods, but without the refund!

Positive_Rub_6696 · 2024-12-10T14:41:04+00:00

Assuming you, like most men, pay CS, SS or both, you can probably get a reduction in that support, regardless of this clause. The clause probably gives you more leverage in said reduction. I would ask my attorney about it.

Jojothereader · 2024-12-10T00:41:16+00:00

Just drop it bud.

captainjacksparrow84 · 2024-12-10T00:20:24+00:00

If you didn't want another guy in the picture then you shouldn't have gotten divorced. The reality is at some point you will likely live with another woman. I can tell you the Courts generally don't give a crap about this unless you can prove there is a danger to the child. I.e. Physical Abuse. You don't get to meet the guy if your ex doesn't want to. You don't get to do any vetting. It's her life. No different than if you had a new girl in the home, she doesn't get to vet your girlfriend.

Unusual_University14 · 2024-12-09T23:42:07+00:00

Depending on the state, they are usually not enforceable and the courts don't care unless he abuses the kids or is a pedophile.

That said, this does END any obligation you have for alimony so if you are paying that, you absolutely should talk to your lawyer about invoking the cuckold clause and stopping those payments (child support is a different matter).

techrmd3 · 2024-12-09T23:25:24+00:00

nope not worth going to court, you won't win, you won't even get any admonishment for mom not obeying the decree

These clauses are mostly unenforceable, good lawyers who are smart make sure there is a monetary incentive via alimony/spousal support that requires the mom to not have a boyfriend live with her and the kids.

Money ends and mom decides that boyfriend can live somewhere else... a real reflection of the ex wife's view of true love I say.

I think it's a true failing of the Family Court system that there are not constant monetary incentives for correct parental behavior but it is what it is

Expert-Raccoon6097 · 2024-12-09T22:53:31+00:00

Courts do not enforce these types of clauses.

It is up to you and your co-parent to communicate and negotiate with each other. Ironically co-parenting takes far more effort than a marriage if you want it to work well.

Id run a background check on the guy. If he is clean and co-parents himself you'll have nothing to worry about as he will already know the boundaries.

If he has no kids you will want to go to lunch with your co-parent and hash out the boundaries.

The_Sparklehouse · 2024-12-09T20:49:00+00:00

If the decree is a legal binding contract, as in set by a court, I would recommend pursuing it one way or another. It could be a violation of a court order, those are meant to be followed. Judges hate it when people ignore their orders. If you want to be nice you could assist in changing the order to remove the “shackle clause” but it should not be ignored outright.

warwww · 2024-12-09T20:24:59+00:00

There’s nothing you can do about it. You’re no longer a family unit. It’s something that your kids will have to get used to.

lostpassword100000 · 2024-12-09T20:22:20+00:00

I would at least setup a meeting and meet the guy. Maybe google him as well. If she’s going to blatantly violate the decree you either need to enforce it or have it changed (if you agree).

I would kindly ask your ex if y’all can all meet up as a courtesy and you will do the same if the time ever comes.

Title	Worth the trouble (shack up)
Author	Coffeguy649
Upvotes	5
Comments	17
Date	December 9, 2024 7:58 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1haircd/worth_the_trouble_shack_up/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/worth-the-trouble-shack-up.1538044 https://theredarchive.com/post/1538044

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