At what point do you give up finding a girlfriend?

foreignleandrip · 2022-11-02T00:15:01+00:00

You don't, but you just keep living and maybe something will come. Nothing in life is guaranteed, so we just keep moving to make our lives worth it, doing things we love, trying out new hobbies, etc. Maybe you'll meet her at your local movie theatre, or a stand up comedy place with friends. She could be anywhere. But in the meantime, you do you.

rumpots420 · 2022-11-02T00:26:38+00:00

Just pursue your other goals. If you meet a lady you like, ask her out. You may find someone, you may not

avotoastisgreat · 2022-11-02T00:31:11+00:00

Those are great accomplishments, I hope you feel proud that you did those things for yourself. You have a very good foundation.

As a woman, these are my three criteria for men:

First and foremost, he must be my best friend. We need to have things in common. We need to enjoy spending time together. We need to make each other laugh. We need to listen to each other and have each other's backs.

Second, he needs to be a good lover. We need to show each other attention and affection. We need to understand each other's love languages. We need to have sexual compatibility. We need to spend quality time together regularly. We need to regularly go on dates and romance each other.

Lastly, he needs to be a good life partner. We need to have similar goals and aspirations. He needs to have drive and determination. He needs to be supportive of my dreams. We need to have effective communication. He needs to put in as much effort into the relationship as I do.

Everyone is different, but I think these are good things to keep in mind when trying to be an ideal partner for someone. Dating is really, really hard and you may find someone who fits one category perfectly but is lacking in another.

Relationships take a lot of compromise and communication.

fathergoose77 · 2022-11-01T23:56:25+00:00

The steps you mentioned are general steps everyone should take to improve their own lives for themselves. It doesn’t tell us much about what steps you’ve taken towards finding a relationship.

How old are you? Do you know what kind of relationship and partner you’d want? What have you tried in terms of building a relationship with a woman? Why do you think you haven’t been successful thus far?

estoniblue17 · 2022-11-02T01:31:01+00:00

You need to remember that you are living FOR YOU - not for a girl. The right girl will come when you least expect it. There are things you can do to help though. Get out of the house as much as possible to socialize. Friends of friends make it super easy to meet someone. The more expierence you get socializing the more attractive you will be become and especially if you are doing things that make you more attractive girls will start lining up if you are confident, emotionally intelligent, and you have your shit together.

Castle_Clique · 2022-11-02T01:12:53+00:00

Stop doing the things you think will get you a gf and start doing the things that make you happy. I quit my job, stopped going to the gym, and moved across the country and got a gf within a month.

KayRay1994 · 2022-11-02T01:38:25+00:00

I’ve come to this realization this year, the easiest path is to stop hoping for ‘the time’ and keep on living life and do hobbies you enjoy - you may find someone, you might not. Difference is doing the work gives you a chance and hey, worst case scenario, at least you made your life a good one for yourself

AssistTemporary8422 · 2022-11-02T05:33:01+00:00

You left out all the most important things for dating like improving your social skills, getting better at talking to women, having a social life, meeting women, taking the initiative, and looking your best.

seeyouonthelanai · 2022-11-02T10:18:39+00:00

Congratulations on your glow up! I hope you've done all this for yourself, not just to get a girlfriend. Do you genuinely feel happy with your improved life? What about your hobbies and passions? Do you have any?

2022-11-02T01:11:00+00:00

How many women have you asked out irl?

saito200 · 2022-11-02T09:00:47+00:00

What do you expect exactly? Do you expect to fix your life and then magically have a woman fall in your arms? Are you proactively dating and approaching women and showing interest?

ishitinthemilk · 2022-11-02T09:54:52+00:00

Honestly, give up on that being your goal. Work on yourself FOR YOU. Make YOU your priority. Because when you are happy and busy and have confidence in yourself, that's when you're most likely to attract other people.

neoexileee · 2022-11-02T16:10:39+00:00

Never surrender. There is someone out there for everyone

Naus1987 · 2022-11-02T16:35:44+00:00

If you have a good career then you can afford therapy.

You only give up after you’ve exhausted all your options. If you’re too arrogant to try some options like therapy, then that person is best off being single. Arrogance is not a healthy trait for a team based relationship.

ForeverInYou · 2022-11-02T01:15:13+00:00

Not being redpill is different for me. I also moved to another continent. I had several hobbies I wanted to explore and just one girl friend that I never hit on. She presented to her friend. In my hobbies I met several cool women. At s company party I viver with a girl while not being any deceitful. Put yourself where other people want to meet other people, have fun with life! Life is not just about material achievements and “leveling up”(very redpill mindset even though os not bad per se)

Graineon · 2022-11-02T01:24:53+00:00

Relax, let the universe work it's magic. Find happiness in the present moment through appreciation for what you already have.

Stargazer1919 · 2022-11-09T00:02:54+00:00

I can't guarantee it. But sometimes when you stop trying so hard at something, it'll just come to you more naturally.

Green-Quantity1032 · 2022-11-02T14:09:50+00:00

If success means "finding a girlfriend", then don't worry - do all that you mentioned and you'll find one easily.

Who will it be? depends. But don't worry, the bar is low enough - look at the guys around you.

I can see how some people can get frustrated that they've improved but still can't have weekly casual sex with different girls, but getting getting a girlfriend after searching and dating for 2-3 months should be reachable for just about any average guy, let alone fit high-earners go-getters. and that's a really conservative estimation.

Caveats and solutions:

- Losing weight from 300lbs to 250lbs is huge progress, but you're probably still obese (not applicable to really tall guys/bodybuilders) - Keep going.

- Hard case of Social Anxiety - get a good CBT psychologist.

Mild forms will also really benefit from good CBT approaches, but it's not a must if you don't mind it.

- Deformed face - get a surgery, and probably still get a good CBT psychologist.

If you just have one or two mildly-bad features (i.e awkward nose/receding chin) that's not a deformed face, that's just you being a unrealistic about who you're up against. You theoretically might still benefit from changing it, but for "getting a girlfriend" you're probably in diminshing-returns area - stay focused on the gym.

EDIT:

I didn't answer your question - For the protocol you give up after doing all of the above (including the fucking gym never forget the gym) for 5 years, but no one who did all of the above ever "not get a girlfriend" if he's not living under a rock. Good luck

EDIT2:

Case study for a guy who changed his life exponentially after being 30y/o:

Fucking William James: https://markmanson.net/the-prime-belief

ICQME · 2022-11-03T12:24:02+00:00

i gave up at age 33 and i'm 40 now

leetcoder217 · 2022-11-02T01:23:06+00:00

Ever heard of arranged marriage ?

DaBullWeb · 2022-11-02T01:13:31+00:00

You don’t stop, just continue dating, get on dating apps, go to parties, events, etc . Put yourself out there, the things you mentioned your accomplished means nothing without effort.

Goldenrattler · 2022-11-02T02:11:32+00:00

It is hard to give advice, when I don’t know you: I try to keep good momentums going. And it sounds like you are pretty satisfied with your achievements in life so far. If not, then there seems to be something there to work towards. A relationship imo. is the icing on the cake. Not the be all end all. You bring a lot to the table: What values in life are the most important to you as a partner, parent, son, brother, friend, worker, collegue? What do you value in a potential partner? Assess if that is realistic and compatible with the norms in society. Cultivate your openness in social events and work on your social skills by attending them frequently. Cultivating openness and getting closer towards the opposite sex without any sexual undertones other than mildly flirtation imo. is especially effective where you meet the same people on a frequent basis: workplace, hobbies etc. Dance lessons is an example, but don’t be a freak. Talk to friends and ask for their opinion. A large group of male friends is a good thing, but never reveal in detail, what is working for you. You need the space to keep your goals clear. Stay authentic to yourself. Tap into positive masculine energies. Work on traits, that are obviously holding you back in being the best version of yourself.

cvemana · 2022-11-02T05:22:46+00:00

Depends what type of woman you're looking for?

SweelFor- · 2022-11-02T07:55:08+00:00

Keep trying

2020mademejoinreddit · 2022-11-02T21:23:29+00:00

Don't give up, just move on from nothing to something that does give you meaning. Do you have everything you want in life? Everything? Then why are you bothered anyway? If not, then get to work on getting that (aside from a gf).

2022-11-03T03:28:22+00:00

Til you die. At least that’s how I’m doing it. You just keep improving your looks, social skills, and meet more women until you get lucky. Worst case scenario you become better disciplined and skilled than most people.

imtooshortt · 2022-11-07T16:08:10+00:00

At the point where my height is below the average male height, I give up.

Title	At what point do you give up finding a girlfriend?
Author	foreignleandrip
Upvotes	15
Comments	43
Date	November 1, 2022 11:43 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/yjp9yx/at_what_point_do_you_give_up_finding_a_girlfriend/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/at-what-point-do-you-give-up-finding-a-girlfriend.1138485 https://theredarchive.com/post/1138485

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