I need serious help

Comfortable_Intern57 · 2020-12-09T21:29:55+00:00

Most women don't care about money, so long as you are able to take care of yourself or are working on it if you are still young. Also, we don't want a huge cock as our vagina is not that deep anyway so it can be painful for us if it's too big.

The redpill community uses Narcissists as an example and say that all women are like that when we are not. If you are that worried about ending up with a gold digger that only cares about appearances and money then don't date shallow women. Also, pay attention to red flags early in the relationship.. Narcissists are more common than they say, but it's still a minority of the population.

absolutebeginners · 2020-12-09T21:56:22+00:00

Stop. Reading. Redpill.

And related subreddits.

niceguycoach · 2020-12-09T21:53:01+00:00

You're believing the bullshit and forming your own self-limiting beliefs. Time to develop your social skills and meet new people. Disprove those limiting beliefs by getting to know people the old fashioned way. Then you can just date accordingly.

cvntcvntcvnt · 2020-12-09T21:55:47+00:00

Most likely whatever someone says to debate you in what you think about women and what you see yourself will be useless in that you'll find a way that what others say is wrong and missing something that TRP talks about.

You've also probably have been debating yourself and you've just gotten more and more stuck. This isn't an accident, this is just what our minds do.

Here's a small thing that may be helpful: Your mind tells you "You can't ever have a woman like that, they don't like men like you, you'll always be alone. Loser!"

Well thank you /u/HeatFlowMerchant 's mind! You have never been wrong about anything, and you're known to always have things exactly correct and accurate all the time! Is there anything else that you have to say?

Another way: In the distant past, people looked up at the moon and they KNEW FOR CERTAIN that humanity would NEVER get up there and reach the stars. It's impossible! It can't happen! We also looked at long distances between people and we KNEW, 100% knew!, that there'd be NO way to cross these distances aside from horses.

Time and time agian, and look at your own life not just history, we've fervently believed what our minds told us, and time and again that overconfident mind that believed it understood everything was proved wrong. In the end, we are more capable than we think. I'm not saying "anything is possible" or some dumb shit like that. I am saying that the story your mind is giving you, is merely that: a story. One story of many. See it as a story, don't argue with it, and go on with your life doing the things that matter to you.

Check out Acceptance and Commitment Therapy if this made any impact. Good luck.

cuicksilver · 2020-12-09T22:26:02+00:00

First off, you sound like on paper you would be attractive to many women (employed full-time, thoughtful—the bar is not as high as you think).

If you’re mental health and confidence are not great as a result of these self-limiting beliefs, I am a big supporter of therapy (or teletherapy as it is now). Your feelings of shame are undeserved (but understandable) and we gotta do the work to love, respect, and honor ourselves to combat toxic shame.

I’m sorry you’re going through this right now.

_Crazy_Luck_ · 2020-12-10T08:33:33+00:00

Well... This is as true as it is that "all men want Victoria secret models that live to please you, cook for you, clean and suck dick 24/7." If this is what you want - this is what you'll (probably) have to provide. But not neccesairly. I mean. Look at the people around you. Who is truly happy? Who has real loving relationships....? It's not the super rich 9inch cock millionaires...

So. If you're anything close to average. You'll be fine. Average people seem happy.

But the general rule seems to be... Try to become what you want to attract. Just be a good kind man, and you'll attract good kind women... Look around you, really. Looks don't matter when it comes to love.. I mean. As long as you're willing to date within your league.

But if you only want models - just go to the gym.. or get more realistic standards and go out with a normal kind girl.

beigs · 2020-12-10T02:57:50+00:00

I Am a woman. Nothing you said about women is true. I wouldn’t date a billionaire, or frankly someone who is ultra rich, because 1) the power dynamic would be off, and 2) it takes a kind of person to become ultra rich.

None of my friends would either

My husband is 5’8, stocky, and a d&d nerd. He’s kind, considerate, and caring and that’s what drew me to him. He’s an amazing dad, and I love him more every day. We’ve been together 16 years.

My friends all chose partners in the same way - men they liked as people, who respected them, and who they could build lives with.

Two of my friends married ultra rich. One is currently getting a divorce to her bastard of a husband who frankly was found out by his mistress and wife at the exact same time, and the other was burned so badly that she has become a cautionary tale.

Most women know better.

I looked for stability and a friend, kindness and empathy. A paladin. My best friends chose similar, but more suited to their personalities. We’re all university graduates, most post grads, in vaguely stem fields.

DissonanceBadger · 2020-12-09T21:30:04+00:00

What about these ideas made them appealing to you?

xvszero · 2020-12-10T03:53:13+00:00

Stop viewing the content. Just go cold turkey. It's making you feel bad AND it's full of lies. Literally no reason to keep at it.

kawaiibutpsycho · 2020-12-10T12:28:42+00:00

That depends on who you're trying to attract. If you want a Kim Kardashian type woman, then you need to be a millionaire. But if you want a regular woman who values personality, kindness, responsibility and effort, then you're totally fine with your job. I've seen many posts for example from disabled men who tell men to stop victimizing themselves and become confident because if you don't love yourself, how do you expect other people to love you? And even statistics show women prefer hardworking, ambitious and confident but poor men over lazy and not confident rich men.

Graineon · 2020-12-09T23:07:27+00:00

It's just an idea. Stop thinking about it and you'll stop seeing it everywhere.

Zero-89 · 2020-12-10T02:15:33+00:00

Creating these assumptions and feelings of yours took time. Unwinding and resolving them is also going to take time. You might want to consider actual therapy. With the way you're currently trained to think (which started long before you took the red pill; money as a measure of self-worth in particular is pervasive problem in society), therapy might seem like a path for weaklings or failures, but head off that train of thought right now. It's okay to need help and it's okay to want help. You're okay for needing and wanting help. That's what therapy is for.

Bjay_jw · 2020-12-10T09:31:12+00:00

9 inch cocks hurt. No offense to well endowed men.

Coollogin · 2020-12-10T13:04:09+00:00

9 inch cock

Ow! Why would I want anyone to impale my cervix?

woodenbiplane · 2020-12-10T17:42:14+00:00

Therapy Therapy Therapy

tomowudi · 2020-12-10T13:26:31+00:00

Diagnosis - low self esteem

Treatment plan -

Daily meditation
Work on identifying and reframing distorted thinking patterns (therapist can help with this)
Move towards motivating through gratitude instead of shame - e.g. instead of trying to work harder by saying to yourself that if you aren't a billionaire, you won't get laid, say to yourself how great you did for what you accomplished and realize that if you keep that up you'll wind up where you are wanting to be.
Make friends with a girl. Platonic only. Find a cool one - looks do not matter - and just be a good bro to her. On purpose. Bonus points if she is crazy hot and you are determined to just be a dude friend with no expectations of banging. The goal is JUST a platonic friendship. The reason is so that you can recognize that relationships with women are no more transactional than relationships with dudes - they are simply either healthy or unhealthy, and that is a reflection of how YOU relate to people.

Title	I need serious help
Author	HeatFlowMerchant
Upvotes	54
Comments	44
Date	December 9, 2020 9:03 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/ka0mwc/i_need_serious_help/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/i-need-serious-help.731914 https://theredarchive.com/post/731914

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