Is less really more with attracting women?

Snoo52682 · 2021-10-24T11:16:09+00:00

Doesn't that seem odd? When was the last time you heard a woman talking admiringly about how "mysterious" a man was? Women are busy, man. We got jobs and bills and a Netflix queue we really gotta get around to and a mom to call. Nobody's got time to sit around wondering about the motives and backstory of some inert lump that never makes conversation.

How about seek connection. But don't talk and "do" so much that you aren't listening to the other person. You don't need to put on a big entertaining show for your date. You do need to connect.

PrincessTiaraLove · 2021-10-24T11:26:47+00:00

I'm so sick of this culture. People are gonna play hard to get until their hard to want. Everybody isn't going to go for that. I get the "don't be needy" thing, but when is actual communication going to come in to play? What are you going to say when you actually get a chance to talk to her? I think honesty is the best policy and the right ones will stay. If you're busy then that's fine, but still make time. Tbh I'm over the games and I'm not chasing people. If a person wants to play hard to get then I'm going to assume they don't like me. I can walk and chew gum at the same time so I can like somebody and move on at the same time too.

XihuanNi-6784 · 2021-10-24T18:23:22+00:00

Don't be needy =/= never talk to her, drop her halfway through things, and ignore her a lot. "Less is more" is a silly thing to apply to dating. Get to know her and judge how much attention your partner needs/likes. Plenty of women hate playing games and will drop you if youre a time waster.

xvszero · 2021-10-24T16:48:42+00:00

I mean, you're conflating a lot of things here.

Absolutely don't be desperate or needy. Absolutely have your own friends, hobbies, etc. that don't revolve around her. Absolutely have goals in life, be actively working towards them, etc.

But most serious women, especially if a real, longterm relationship is the goal, want someone they can connect with. "Mystery" only lasts so long. After that, the reality begins.

Haunting_Afternoon62 · 2021-10-24T20:10:12+00:00

There's a balance. Dont be smothering. Have your own life. This is basic advice. But some men who don't need this advice take it too extreme. I had a guy I was totally interested in but he fell for this advice. I couldn't connect with him at all. A woman who clings to an unavailable man has issues anyway. I'm working on myself and just because a distant man worked before, doesn't mean it works on me now. I love myself now and don't need to recreate my childhood. It only works on women who are trying to prove themselves. The guy I liked went on and couldn't figure out why women kept telling him "im afraid to get attached" but then got a bf after him. He didn't see it wasn't about not wanting a relationship, but not finding HIM safe enough to attach to.

azucarleta · 2021-10-24T15:17:06+00:00

Stop stereotyping women, that's step #1.

Number 2 is to recognize that yes, perhaps, this advice you hear again and again is decent advice for a sizable portion of women.

Number 3, though, is to consider whether you want a girl that is like this, or whether you'd be better off with a different kind of woman.

Number 4, stop contorting yourself. Look at who you are. Look at how you are when you feel your best. Then go find a partner that wants that kind of behavior!

2021-10-24T16:55:54+00:00

I think the women(or just most people) being busy thing is a big part of this. I think guys may hear that a dude was too much, and the takeaway is never give women attention or something to that effect.

But couldn't it also just mean don't be all up in her grill so early until you know how she is? I'm sure for lots of people, too much attention etc, past what their schedule/mental energy can handle...can be a huge turn off.

I'm a guy and if i happen to be more busy than who i'm talking to, i just do my best to give that energy back when I get to my phone. It doesnt turn me off, that i'm talking to someone who's excited to speak to me. I just hope that i can properly convey to them that i'm on the same page feeling wise.

But i've known plenty of men and women who just don't want all that energy, especially early.

diamandisonskidrow · 2021-10-24T13:30:20+00:00

nope. if you do nothing you will become invisible to women. women do not care about you, you have to make them care about you

as a man it is your role in the relationship to be active. women are the passive ones, men are the active ones. these are the gender roles and if you want to be successful you have to follow them

i hate gender roles, i wanna get rid of them. but the unfortunate thing is i cant, so i have to give up, admit defeat, and play the fucking game, so do you

softnmushy · 2021-10-24T16:46:02+00:00

This only works if you are really attractive or if she already sees you everyday and knows you are interested.

Ordinarily, if you don’t give her much attention, she’s going to be a lot more interested in guys she regularly interacts with.

But you definitely don’t want to overdo it. If she perceives you as needy, annoying, or desperate that is very unattractive.

Raphael7713 · 2021-10-25T09:39:40+00:00

I'm gonna state the most obvious and cliché thing ever, but just be yourself to 100%.

If a girl likes you for it, perfect. If they don't, do not change who you are and give out the impression of a false persona just so that you can attract her. I'm almost 32 years old never had any luck with girls, never even had a relationship. Now when I stopped giving a fuck and just being myself, I find things are getting easier. I will never ever change who I am and the way I behave just to attract someone. At least i got my dignity :)

Environmental-Row979 · 2021-10-25T18:26:15+00:00

It'll make her think about you more and wonder why you're different from the pack.

No, it won't. If the advice uses the word "pack" in this way, that's a dead giveaway that it's from someone who has bought into some cheesy pseudo social science.

dstar411 · 2021-10-25T19:54:07+00:00

I've been through the rabbit hole of rejection and frustration over a girl I liked. Patterns work, nothing else. When you don't show interest or don't chase a girl, especially an attractive one, she will find you intriguing and try to chase you herself.

Every girl I've met, when I don't show any interest, they add me to their close friends list within a week and try and flirt with me.

When I chased this girl and tried to get her, I turned myself into a "nice guy" and I am not proud of it.

I had a fight and didn't text or respond fir 2 months, and now she texts me everyday trying to get me to talk to her.

DO NOT CHASE WOMEN.

PlayfulLawyer · 2021-10-28T23:12:26+00:00

I mean there is a fine line, but if a woman knows that you're super into her, that can be a turn-off

NatsuXtreme · 2021-10-24T11:25:26+00:00

So when I was meeting with the girl and do everything for her I didn't even have one thank you but when one time I said ,,no I don't have time for you today,, suddenly she insist on meeting and asked me why I didn't meet with her and she didn't want to be my girlfriend in the end but what stayed with me is thought why she cared when ignored and after redpill so much make sense and if I knew this then I would say NO more often than agree to everything to make her happy.

Title	Is less really more with attracting women?
Author	spankyourkopita
Upvotes	12
Comments	79
Date	October 24, 2021 10:55 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/qepvxp/is_less_really_more_with_attracting_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/is-less-really-more-with-attracting-women.1082128 https://theredarchive.com/post/1082128

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