Question: Who has it easier in finding relationships/casual dating Women or Men?

azucarleta · 2021-08-31T18:20:16+00:00

I abhor battle of the sexes-type questions. Patriarchy sucks for everyone.

Case closed.

ZacKaizen · 2021-08-31T23:07:15+00:00

These are two different topics.

Almost any woman can walk into a bar and make it known she wants to hook up and find at least one guy who will take her up on it. The reverse is not as likely.

When it comes to relationships, there is an entirely different vetting process than there is for a casual hookup. In that arena, both sides approach things differently, but it is not really easier (or harder) for one or the other. Just different.

That said, it may be slightly easier for a girl to enter into a relationship simply because she can more quickly find suitors. Whether those are good suitors for her or not is an entirely different discussion.

Haunting_Afternoon62 · 2021-09-01T02:11:55+00:00

What's weird is usually the same amount of people from both genders have to be part of the relationship so I'd say...equal?

CrystalClear59 · 2021-08-31T19:13:54+00:00

It's funny that you posted this because I had a rant building in my head on this subject. This is how the argument goes 99% of the time:

Guys who claim "women have it easier in dating!"

Answer: hookups, yes. Dating, no.

Lonely Guys: "but women get thousands of messages and matches on tinder!!"

Answer: tinder doesn't represent all of the dating scene. Nor does online dating as a whole. What do you expect when 75% of tinder is men? Once again, hookups are easy. Dating is not. Learn the difference.

Lonely Guys: but at least women get attention!

Answer: not all attention is good attention. So many dudes online send unwanted sexual or nasty messages. We don't know if someone has good intentions.

Lonely guys: but at least you get attention!

Answer: we don't want dick pics, we want someone who recognizes us as individuals. we don't want a hookup where we probably won't even get an orgasm, we want someone who gives a shit about us. Women have to fear for their safety and you never will know what it's like.

Lonely guys: but at least you get attention!

Answer: this is how people get stuck in shitty relationships. They just want anybody and will put up with any bullshit just so they don't have to be alone.

Lonely guys: just admit you're privileged!

Answer: how is getting unwanted pictures of a dude's junk a privilege? How is fearing kidnapping, rape, being drugged, and death a privilege?

Honestly every single argument of "women have it easier" boils down into an emotional plea of "I'm tired of being alone."

If you're lonely and desperate, that sucks. But it doesn't mean others have too high of standards. If anything, desperation can scare away potential dates. Just because you can't find anybody, doesn't mean other people don't have valid problems in dating.

If you display this mentality online, where nobody else has problems as bad as yours, then why should anybody else want to date you? There's no competition, there's no prize for winning said competition. If you do find someone to date, I'll bet that you don't know how to listen to your date if/when they vent about their own problems. That's either a one way ticket to not getting a second date, or ending up with someone toxic.

And for the last fucking time, whoever spreads this bullshit argument always ignores how women often don't feel safe around men. And they never understand the difference between hookups and committed dating. It's an argument from ignorance.

Red_Trapezoid · 2021-08-31T21:09:05+00:00

I don't have a study to bring up or anything but I have talked to women a lot and the things they tell me about interactions they have had with men leads me to believe that women have a much easier time attracting men(this is often not good as I will soon make clear why) and men have a much harder time attracting women because they come across as creepy, weird, dangerous, idiotic, desperate and so on.

I talked with a woman today and she told me that many of the men she has chatted with on dating apps will often straight up lie about jobs they have and even books they've read. So if for example they say they are really into some book that she has read she will ask them about it and realize that they were just lying because they were hoping to appear smart. She said they usually change the topic to something sexual when they don't know what to say.

Braid dead tactless bullshitting idiots. Yeah it's hard for a lot of men because a lot of men SUCK. These men do not need to attempt any kind of dating they should be actively trying to become at least decent.

Edit: I'm saying I DON'T have a study. Sorry for triggering the bot. False alarm.

atman714 · 2021-09-01T00:32:51+00:00

That's probably impossible to answer. I think that both sides are going to typically claim that they have it the hardest.

For dating, I think it's a fact that woman can attain dates far easier than men on average. They can also get sex easier than men. But, dating isn't as shallow as sex. I don't know any man that shares his location with his buddies just in case the girl assaults him, but most of the girls that I've dated will share their locations on all first dates with their girlfriends because the risk of rape/assault is present. These are just two examples from my own experience.

Training_Passenger79 · 2021-08-31T22:35:27+00:00

When it comes to finding relationships, women have it easier.

When it comes to being in them, I think men do.

boyraceruk · 2021-08-31T18:23:19+00:00

I'd say it's easier for men actually, I've never been worried by my date turning up in a van, never had to keep track of my drink, I've not thought I'm being followed home.

Even when I or guys I've known have managed to hook up with a crazy one it's never been scary, more irritating/inconvenient.

RedPillDetox · 2021-08-31T20:20:05+00:00

Casual dating it's women. As for relationships it's about the same, if anything the average man has it a little easier than women.

NoodlesGotAGun · 2021-08-31T18:53:41+00:00

It's built on the weird supply and demand theory of dating between the sexes. It's not remotely true, redpill types fixate and a lot of women are functionally invisible to them, so there's confirmation bias there. There is a class of people in every gender that dates easily and effortlessly. Incels target the women that do for their resentment and fixate on them and ignore anything that doesn't confirm their worldview. It's a lot less psychically damaging in the short term and easier to develop a theory for why it's not your fault because the world is build in a way that unfairly marginalizes you.

thetruthishere_ · 2021-08-31T22:01:30+00:00

Casual sex, women.

For actual relationships where you are compatible/attracted to Id say its not easy for either.

ArugulaIsAwesome · 2021-09-01T02:16:45+00:00

There is no harder/easier situation… both groups just encounter different problems.

Women might it better in terms of quantity…

But harder in terms of quality of interest.

Having 100 guys want to sleep with you does NOT make life easier if 95 of them have no interest in a relationship and will leave after sex.

If anything it’s more depressing… degrading… and disappointing.

CrabBucketSecurity · 2021-09-01T02:31:58+00:00

A better question would be.....why is this important to you ?

2021-08-31T23:21:26+00:00

women for casual. men for relationship.

the_pupilwx · 2021-09-01T09:14:05+00:00

Dogs.

ironmanalex97 · 2021-08-31T22:06:24+00:00

Tbh when I think of topics like this I still find myself to be on a red pill mindset where women have more options then men, while not necessarily having easy access to what is considered quality men. One thing I hear in both sides of the spectrum is that women hold the keys to sex while men hold the keys to a relationship.

ThePancakeJedi · 2021-09-01T18:12:15+00:00

Its not wrong. Women have sex with who they want, but men have sex with who they can.

However, who gives a fuck?

Better question is why do dudes in trp and or mgtow focus on who gets pussy when their asses can't get pussy.

Pichuco · 2021-09-08T07:44:54+00:00

Everything is easy for most people. In other case they wouldn't be able to do anything.

DaptFunk1 · 2021-11-28T22:19:28+00:00

It seems quite easy to ignore a problem you are never faced with, for sure. Women are ready to downplay the issue of men's feelings too frequently, including issues of anxiety.

For those thinking that being able to be alone and be fine with it is the mark of a healthy potential mate, I would be hard pressed to believe these people didn't ever have difficulty overcoming that. I would also direct you to the basics of people; we are social creatures, so the ability to sit alone quietly is valuable in a way but can be extremely damaging if taken too far. All mindsets have their potential benefits and detriment, so to argue that "all men who complain about being alone are the same and all of their complaints boil down to misogyny" at its core belittled the feelings of men in a way that women don't experience, similar to a man arguing that women's lived experiences of frightening situations with men being belittling. It oversimplifies the issue, and forces the victim to believe they are the problem, when in many cases it is simply not up to that individual.

Simply put, my argument is to listen and care. Take people seriously. All humans have problems in the dating game, and I don't think it's fair to either side to simply boil it down to differences in gender. Fear of the opposite gender is a normal thing, and while men's manifests in sometimes being socially awkward or having difficulty making casual conversation, is it any less valid of a fear reaction on their part? Women have, and this is opinion so bear with me perhaps, better access to healthy emotional tools to process and get on their game for basics of fear response management, like conversational skills and the like. A vast quantity of men grew up with entirely unattached fathers, who either helped to push emotions away or to teach unhealthy habits for personal emotional management. More men are emotionally ill equipped to handle dating than most women. It's quite possible that there will be a major shift in the dating scene to reflect this. Many men are subdued, quiet, emotional creatures who will not for any reason make the first move. It isn't their fault. Male gender norms and deviations therefrom have been pretty standard for a long time, not to mention beauty standards for men.

PlayfulLawyer · 2021-09-03T20:13:49+00:00

Women in both, easily

Title	Question: Who has it easier in finding relationships/casual dating Women or Men?
Author	tussyczr
Upvotes	3
Comments	62
Date	August 31, 2021 6:14 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/pfbhpa/question_who_has_it_easier_in_finding/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/question-who-has-it-easier-in-finding.1065934 https://theredarchive.com/post/1065934

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