society always talks about nice guys? but never nice girls....

BondJamesBondx12 · 2022-09-13T03:31:26+00:00

Red pilled comments on an exredpill sub? Interesting, yet not surprising.

Naus1987 · 2022-09-13T01:00:24+00:00

I’ve always found it funny that men have such high standards for women’s beauty, and then complain they can’t find a date.

I’ve met quite a few women who were either not that attractive, or simply older, and men just straight out ignore them. And then those same men will complain that they’ll die alone!!

I think both genders tend to shoot beyond their limits and it’s causing a lot of loneliness. Because if you try and tell an ugly guy he should date an ugly woman he’ll just say he’s “entitled” to date whoever he wants.

The truth is he shouldn’t compare a fictional pretty woman to an ugly woman and think the best answer is to hold out.

He should be comparing that ugly woman to being alone and then consider his options.

However, sadly there is a big negative to this. If a guy settles for an unattractive woman, he may be much more likely to cheat or abandon the ugly woman if a pretty woman shows interest.

debatelord_1 · 2022-09-13T09:21:21+00:00

This doesn't make sense. Men are known to be a lot less picky. Women are the sexually selective sex in humans, not men.

I think many of those "nice guys" just invent standards for themselves and claim women don't reach those because in reality nobody wants to date them period. It's a defence mechanism to preserve the own ego

Rook_Cross · 2022-09-13T15:25:12+00:00

Projection. Pure projection. What any RP man says about women, assume he's the one doing it. Men and women on dating apps tend to aim out of their league on attractiveness, and wind up getting disappointed. But RP men, I don't doubt that they are even more guilty of this than the average man. You'll hear them say stuff like, "Only 5% (or sometimes less!) of women are worth dating". Meanwhile they gripe about women "only going for the top 20% of men" (misrepresentation of statistic). Part of it's a status thing, like they need an extra fine woman because they're a man of taste and high value. Another reason is cope, they can't get a woman and use their discerning taste as an excuse. Mostly it's just them being narcissistic, entitled and overestimating themselves because of this and really, really lusting after a far more attractive woman than themselves, because that's what they've been looking at in pornography and on instagram and they deserve and are entitled to it and want it to spite those feminists and show them who's boss. Then they delude themselves when they don't get it and claim it's women's fault. They just want a girl who's not overweight and breathing (as if being so unconcerned about personality and the individual, being the lowest common denominator, is attractive to the woman, what she wants her partner to see her as). They go on and on about women overrating themselves, being "mid", being "inflated by social media". When it's them with the inflated ego and expectations. They also put in so little effort, or the wrong effort, making their results even worse. They blame average, nice women for their failures, though they were never after them in the first place, to seem reasonable AND because they don't want to attack the true object of their desire, the hot women rejecting them. Again, most people seem to go for people "out of their league" to some extent, on dating apps. But RP men are the only ones with so little self awareness and entitlement to not realize what they are doing and that they are hypocrites. Dating apps attract a lot of the worst of society. I find that healthy people tend to meet offline, care about their partner's personality and aren't obsessed as much with looks.

Searching4MyLight · 2022-09-13T02:46:51+00:00

Alot of men bemoaned about nice guys finish last, are usually men who try to date outside their league. And these girls obviously usually want to date someone as attractive. There are alot of nice girls out there, who want to date, and when i try to set them up with the "nice guys", i met with multiple excuses, "im not attracted to her...", "i have standards".....

I notice guys who are more accepting of regular girls, are like hardcore gamers. Guys who will spent hours gaming, and dont really socialise with ppl.

You talk about how men complain about the whole "nice guys finish last" thing, and then you talk down about guys who are more accepting of regular women? What is it that you want, then?

Ilovetupacc · 2022-09-13T02:10:39+00:00

People need to date within their attractiveness ranges thats such a huge issue. Many men dont want to settle either although the rp doesnt tlk about that.

Red_Trapezoid · 2022-09-13T06:34:29+00:00

The thing is, "nice girls" much like their "nice guy" equivalent, usually aren't very nice. At all.

I have known only one "nice girl" and I made the mistake of giving her a chance. She was so insecure and toxic. You couldn't tell her anything because she would gossip about it to anyone who would listen. She had a temper and would always take the least charitable interpretation of anything you would say. Totally insufferable. I eventually ghosted her after she kept fishing for personal and sensitive information from me to gossip about. Mind you this woman confessed to being in love with me and I gave her the time of day including a few dates. If that's how she treats people she's in love with I wonder how she would treat people she hates.

And no, before anyone asks. She was not attractive. At all. Her demeanor and presentation was so atrocious. Even though I do think that if she worked out some internal issues she'd probably be able to find a decent guy. A lot of people don't want to believe it but personality really is the most important determining factor.

I think it's totally reasonable that "nice guys" and "nice girls" wouldn't want to date each other. Why would they? They're both awful. It's better to be single than to settle for someone who sucks as much as they do. I can't imagine thinking "Well, truth be told I leave much to be desired, so I think I better pair up with someone as unattractive as myself." Why? Why do that? Just self-improve instead.

2020mademejoinreddit · 2022-09-13T15:18:37+00:00

All I have to say is "Nice guys" aren't so nice. And "Nice girls" are often even worse, because I've seen those "Nice girls" go after other women viciously spreading rumors and psychological warfare on women who dated the guy they liked.

There is a HUGE difference between "Nice" and 'Good'. Just like there's a HUGE difference between a "Great" person and a "Good" person.

As for being rejected part, yes, women do get rejected, however, not as much as men do, and that is a fact. Doesn't change the fact that both genders do face rejection nonetheless.

I don't think people are more sympathetic to men being rejected and definitely no one goes to comfort a man. Maybe you might've seen it, but I haven't. At best, I've seen guys who have best friends maybe get a beer and cheer them up with some activity. Most of the time, I've seen women being cheered up by her friends after a rejection or break-up.

I do think most people understand that rejection is a part of dating. So when most sane people see someone making a huge deal out of being rejected and trying to make the one who rejected them look bad, they will often object to that. This goes for both.

As for "nice girls" not going after hot men. Nope. Everyone tries to go after someone above their league at some point in their life. But most know it may not happen. This applies to both men and women. That's a strange claim.

What's your definition of "regular" girls? Having a type or preference doesn't make someone bad. It just means they have standards.

With the statement you wrote, you make it sound like "regular" girls aren't good-looking or attractive to men and every guy just wants to date super models. Which isn't true.

It's not just "gamers" who like "regular" girls BTW. That's the first I'm hearing of this and I've been on this planet a while.

But since you said at the end, that these are your observations, I'll not criticize much, you have your own perspective based on your life.

For my life, I haven't seen most of the things you mentioned.

What I have seen is, people who claim they're "NICE", aren't really all that nice or good.

That's my observation.

mann1123 · 2022-09-13T19:34:15+00:00

I love how they think being nice is something rare and not just the standard outside of the east coast

HaymakerGirl2025 · 2022-09-13T00:55:38+00:00

This. Everyone needs to understand their market value. You are not “dating down” or “lowering your standards”. You are accepting that what you have to offer is lower than you thought.

Leecock · 2022-09-13T12:14:52+00:00

What most “nice guys” don’t get is that women don’t want a nice guy. They want a guy that is cool, entertaining and capable. Being nice should be a given.

AssistTemporary8422 · 2022-09-13T00:43:01+00:00

Women tend to score much higher in agreeableness than men do. Agreeableness tends to be a nice guy trait and a more feminine trait. Its great to be nice, but if you take it too far your high agreeableness may come off as effeminate to some women. Men tend to prefer niceness or high agreeableness because it is a more feminine trait.

Edit for clarification: Its just a fact that our culture associates high agreeableness with femininity and we see more of this trait in women in our culture. Some women like feminine men. Most women like masculine men. But its all on a spectrum and everyone is different. If you are feminine there is a good chance you will turn off women who prefer masculine men. This preference may be due to a combination of biology and culture. Women do like agreeableness in men, but many of them are turned off when there is too much.

lawrieee · 2022-09-13T10:39:05+00:00

I always felt that "nice guys" were just disingenuous guys who talked about how they were "so caring" because they thought being nice was like some kind of pussy token they could redeem later. Someone pretending to be nice is dishonest and not nice. Someone being an arrogant twat is honest and not nice. I don't really find it surprising that women prefer honest over dishonest. TRP dresses this up as biological desire for men who are more risk taking etc etc but really I think the whole "bad boys Vs nice guys" thing is just better the devil you know. Actually nice guys have successful relationships.

As for "nice girls", the ones I've dated have been okay but I want an equal partnership and nice girls have a "what ever you want is what I want" attitude and now I have the burden of second guessing their real desires and essentially living and planning two lives. I don't really feel that nice girls and the gender swap of nice guys. Nice girls are basically "pick mes" which FDS does talk about a lot.

MrNeoCortex · 2022-09-13T18:09:30+00:00

How is nobody talking about girls preference for social/economic status instead of looks.

There is a very clear difference between what man en woman look for in eachother..

AdventurousTie8034 · 2022-09-16T17:47:42+00:00

Nice girls obviously exist. A nice guy if interested usually ask the girl out and get rejected, while nice girls rarely do the first move. Some of them do of course… nice girls don’t get noticed. It’s not even a matter of looks

MidnightTrain98 · 2023-02-20T19:05:27+00:00

Don’t worry Family Court red pills men every time especially when they raise child support costs even when you lose your job.

society always talks about nice guys? but never nice girls....

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Title	society always talks about nice guys? but never nice girls....
Author	Fit_Device2818
Upvotes	44
Comments	149
Date	September 13, 2022 12:20 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/xcsqsn/society_always_talks_about_nice_guys_but_never/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/society-always-talks-about-nice-guys-but-never.1131234 https://theredarchive.com/post/1131234