What was your experience as a red pilled?

1776WILLCOMEAGAIN · 2023-10-08T20:32:21+00:00

I took one redpill and overdosed. Never again

Prms_7 · 2023-10-09T13:04:24+00:00

Red Pill helped me take responsibility of my life, but it poisoned me into thinking a lot of things that not true. Like how man cant be feminine or talk about their feelings with women.

I saw with my own eyes how It opend up and the relationship got better. I experienced just being honest, saying how It felt, made my Relationship better.

I dated a girl, and she became destined. Texted back like days later. Would not reply to my invites to hang out etc. So one time I just said: Listen, I really like you. But I feel like we are growing a bit away from each other. We text less, we talk less and I miss the connection we had. I am not sure what is going and that is fine. If you dont Wanna see me, then thats fine and I accept it. I just want to let you know how it makes me feel and how I would like to see is continue. If you dont want to, then thats fine. I just wanna know whats going.

Then she opened up, saying what was going on and we started to be around each other again.

Faction_Dissension · 2023-10-09T06:13:38+00:00

the only reason women look for resources and men don't is because men hoard the resources. So women are forced to seek that out from men. its not biological. its social.

Cultural_South5544 · 2023-10-09T15:31:24+00:00

It taught me many good things.

Redpill made me decide to start going to the gym, eat healthy, and view myself as the prize when it comes to dating (which i think is a healthy point of view).

But I also noticed that the whole idea of acting overconfident, not caring about people, etc. you will end up with shitty partners. I was behaving like a narcissist and therefore I attract broken people who bring nothing but misery.

I'm glad i'm past that phase. The next step for me was going into therapy to discover why I'm in these shitty relationships, and how my childhood is connected to all this. Attachment issues. Over time slowly learning to be authentic and vulnerable. In return the universe will put people in my life who are capable of love and kindness. I think many redpill guys secretly want that, but are afraid of getting attached to anyone, so they will never have it unless they do the work.

In conclusion I think I took the good things from redpill and have stuck with them. Having had no masculine role model in my childhood, I think I needed that and am grateful for that. But there is a part of the philosophy that is wildly narcissistic and will make you live an empty life devoid of real connection.

Forsaken-Pepper-3099 · 2023-10-08T21:01:53+00:00

I also stumbled onto some “Red Pill light” stuff after not having dated much for a while and needing some advice.

Some of the advice is useful, such as not being needy and working on self improvement. Also some of the evolutionary psychology components are very true.

The problem was that it taught me to also be really avoidant, to juggle multiple women until one really committed (which was really an issue of not wanting to deal with the feeling of rejection if something didn’t work out), and that relationships would never really be truly intimate because being vulnerable was bad. It also taught me that women should just be “managed/manipulated” because they could never authentically love me.

Some of this stuff will get you a partner…. But not a healthy one, and that’s really where I dropped it. I believe in authenticity, and I know people do like me for me, so I don’t need to make this a game. I’m still not clingy or needy, and I work on myself a lot, but I think you have to be willing to put your feelings on the line a bit if you want to find something real, and red pill guys don’t really want to do that out of fear of abandonment.

sunnierrside · 2023-10-08T23:36:23+00:00

It’s interesting that you’re holding onto the idea that women look for resources and men look for good looks. Is this assumption based on any data that you have? Here’s a summary of some data comparing what men and women value in a partner from 1939 and 2008 - a little dated, but the results line up with every married couple I know. Namely, that most people are looking for love and connection over all else:

https://wapo.st/3S8lGvN (gift article)

We also mostly end up with people of similar attractiveness and socioeconomic status as ourselves - and that changes when people are friends first, and able to form a connection on a deeper level before starting to date:

https://wapo.st/3tt0C8Y (gift article)

Outrageous_Touch231 · 2023-10-09T14:45:41+00:00

hypocrisy, narcissism, extreme delusion

maltesemania · 2023-10-08T23:12:04+00:00

I'm married to a wonderful woman, but when I transitioned I feared she would fall out of love with me. I looked on the internet for reassurance and found some red-pill takes on reddit, which led me to trying to dispute them.

I started questioning everything and reading statistics that caused a lot of doubt. It started affecting my beliefs that I am worthy of or likely to have a life long love.

At the moment I'm trying to think positive thoughts, such as, there are a lot of selfish and disloyal people, but my wife is one of the good ones and she's always shown that. Also, there are marriages with good communication that last.

I'm still struggling and I'm currently seeking therapy, although I think I am climbing my way out of this toxic cycle of fearful thinking and focusing on more positive thinking.

Still, I search online for reassurance daily.

SilverTango · 2023-10-13T18:58:45+00:00

The idea that only women look for resources is patently false. Historically women could not choose their own mates. The parents did, and they often chose matches with good kinship connections to secure their own survival. If anyone was what red pill called "hypergamous," it was in fact the men. They sought power and resources. What better way to do that than a woman with acres of land and a sizable dowry. Red pill is historically inaccurate in terms of marriage. Beauty was a foolish and dangerous reason to marry--wth is that supposed to get you? Nothing. Wives secured lands and resources. The modern equivalent would be a woman with a high paying job and networking connections. I am not sure why the ancients were not intimidated by this, but modern men are.

Ifhes · 2023-10-09T03:19:22+00:00

The thing about evolutionary arguments and why they're archaic and should never be taken seriously is that they mostly apply on humans before society, let alone modern society (after philosophy and morals were a thing). So thinking something is somehow more "correct" for making sense (in a very rough way, by the way) in a proto society and this being an argument to apply it today is just silly.

Strkszone · 2023-10-08T23:16:29+00:00

I think it taught me a lot about being the best version of myself that I can be in a practical manner. I think it doesnt necessarily teach feminine qualities that women may also look for (caretaking/being a present father) etc. And it overlooks things that may make the “woman they want” (the submissive, docile, doesnt care about their money and just wants to be with them for them) types may want (respect, monogamy, self control, etc).

It is funny because they talk about how HVM types are rare but in the same vein they also talk about how rare it is nowadays to find these young virgin women that share their values as well. So the question is how do you find those women and how can you expect them to love you if you just come off as this overbearing and dominant force that makes them feel unloved too? And idt red pill’s solution is great at tackling those problems.

They get it right by saying that she will listen to you if she loves/admires/respects you, but if you are not worthy of that respect you cannot expect her to follow suit. And id argue that things like the one sided open relationship do just that.

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meatball31522 · 2023-10-08T20:49:34+00:00

It saved my marriage and my life.

Good luck with your journey

Most_Read_1330 · 2023-10-08T20:31:33+00:00

It was good

Dry-Pomegranate7458 · 2023-10-09T13:08:37+00:00

Can someone give a condense and clear definition of red pill? Based on some podcaster I know to have been called “red pill”, it’s the tendency to break things down into harsh, study based truths about laws of attraction and this type of thing? Then what’s blue bill? Is it more embracing nuance and exploring other concepts?

Or maybe I’m just way off

ribbons_in_my_hair · 2023-10-10T15:44:35+00:00

I dig what you’re saying and think it’s true. Looks and resources may draw people together or attract people initially, but if that’s the only stuff you’ve got? That relationship will not last long. Over and over again, a tale as old as time, a relationship that lasts takes work and flexibility as both looks and resources? Are impermanent!!! They are both subject to change, sometimes for better, sometimes for worse.

If all you want is looks and resources, have at it! But accept you may experience great loneliness from time to time, those gaps in between when your partner changed and lost either the looks or you got bored with them or the resources dry up etc. there will be gaps with great loneliness if you’re just looking for superficial stuff.

On the other hand, there’s no guarantee—NONE—that if you work on building one particular relationship, there’s no guarantee that you won’t experience loneliness either!!! Death happens! People do cheat, I mean even the most sexiest women alive get cheated on and beat up sometimes and the richest men alive? Do you honestly think the women are loyal to the men they are with solely for resources? They get cheated on too! …….but it’s not only them! You may have the best of intentions and end up with someone who does not, who only was with you for your looks and resources and you didn’t even know! Maybe they didn’t know… and as time passes, people grow and change… even if you both genuinely want to make it work you can still end up lonely and heartbroken.

There simply is no way to avoid painful feelings in your life. I read a book by the Dali Lama ages ago and he said “why do we say happy birthday? We’re really saying happy birth of suffering day.”

To live? You will have to suffer! No NONE no amount of resources and beauty and etc can stop it.

So? The only answer. It’s not sexy. It’s not going to get viral looks on TikTok or etc, but it’s true:

Choose your hard.

Being a single bachelor that makes millions but cannot seem to build one single relationship of deep meaning and value? Is hard. Admit it bros!

But being a humble man with one lovely wife forever? Is also really freaking hard!

So choose your hard.

And do so by trying to cause the least pain and damage to others and yourselves as possible.

If you want to be that pretty bachelor guy then TELL THE WOMEN UPFRONT that you do not want something serious. My god don’t hurt them by lying that you want to be with them forever but you’re just using them! Geez! Just be honest, it’s okay and you’ll find some ladies that are cool with it and respect you more that you were honest. You’ll find a lot of angry women but no one can really knock you if you’re upfront. The really awful thing is deceit.

And hey? If you want a solid relationship? Be honest about that too. And accept it will take great maturity and the willingness to endure all the changes and up and downs together. BUT ONLY SAY THAT IF YOU MEAN IT.

If you need some years as that single bachelor? Freaking fine! Go ahead, but that and own it.

Maybe later you’ll find you’re ready to settle. Cool, then commit to that too.

It’s a LOT less hard and painful to go in that order. Pro tip. Heh……

So, if you aren’t sure of which hard you want to choose? You’re on the fence? choose the path less likely to fk people up. err on the side of caution and admit “you’re still figuring it out.” That is absolutely fine and it’s much more admirable to just admit it. And that it’s where you’re at and has nothing to do with their worth, just where you’re at. You have to be explicitly clear to avoid those looking for something deeper being hurt—you have to be open that you may not be ready for that despite how truly rad and awesome they are and make you feel. Just not ready.

That is hard, but leading them on? Then crushing their soul when 5 years later you decide you don’t want to settle and they are totally wrecked by that? Idk. That is a hard that seems worse and avoidable by being open in the first place. And they get the opportunity to choose their hard. Do they want to commit fo you who is on the fence (HARD.) or just let you go and move on to someone who is ready to commit (also hard!). But let them decide. The greatest gift you can offer is being honest and just saying what you feel and empowering them to make their choice knowing the facts.

That’s it. Choose your hard. Either way you live, it’s gonna be hard. Choose wisely.

Direct_Yesterday_349 · 2023-10-28T10:56:59+00:00

Your statement about ‘your depression getting worse’ seems to indicate self care is needed so dating should be put in back burner til those issues are resolved. Only then can you have positive experiences in relationships

LargeTry88 · 2023-11-22T22:26:51+00:00

Women also look for looks in a man actually, not just resources.... but both seems to be important

Red pill def has some true but getting sucked into it Its jsrd to realize whats true and what not. Id believe anything Ive seen online and it was hurrful bc it messed with my self esteem as a woman

Title	What was your experience as a red pilled?
Author	sharedordaz
Upvotes	17
Comments	40
Date	October 8, 2023 7:51 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/17386l2/what_was_your_experience_as_a_red_pilled/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/what-was-your-experience-as-a-red-pilled.1234388 https://theredarchive.com/post/1234388

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