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ishika_23
[–]Orphanedpinkpetals161 points162 points163 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Bar isn't too high. This def isnt basic kindness, either. don't even think most moms or bffs would do this come on now
[–]deviloooFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Indeed, it’s a nice gesture of him, it’s not basic kindness, few people would do this. It’s a HVM gesture.
[+][deleted] 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
[removed]
[–]zerosnezzyFDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah I feel like this makes the most sense. I’d feel weird wearing someone else’s shoes while they are barefoot. Who knows what is on the ground, so I’m not sure this image is either/or a representation of basic kindness.
[–]FDSxMuffinVSratFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah but if she's been in those shoes for hours her feet are probably already hurting and his aren't.
I wouldn't expect this of a guy, especially since our shoe sizes are probably different, but it's a nice gesture that shows he cares and thinks of the world from your perspective - it's true empathy.
[–]vereelimeeFDS Newbie-1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I'm not sure about that. My sister and I have definitely traded shoes/outfits to help the other. On multiple occasions we have swapped.
At the very least friends would help you locate something to help you not be in pain. If you're not the same size in clothes/shoes, etc, it's not an option to trade.
Dismissing or ignoring the pain of someone else is outrageous. At the very least you could offer a pain killer or bandage. This is not hard to do by any means. This is basic human kindness to recognize and help someone in pain.
[–]Orphanedpinkpetals2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well, most families are dysfunctional so it's def not a common sight. What he is doing is extraordinary in this world
[–]keul_keul144 points145 points146 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I did this to my bff lol - it's not basic kindness but it is the sort of affection you should have in a relationship
[+][deleted] 5 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]EquipoisonousFDS Newbie28 points29 points30 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Each take one sneaker and hop home together 💕
[–]th3n3w3ston3FDS Newbie24 points25 points26 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Piggyback ride!
[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
😂😂
[–]ishika_23FDS Newbie[S] 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]prettyexcitingnewsFDS Disciple15 points16 points17 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I remember this guy who refused to hold my bag cos the bag is too feminine to carry 🤪
[–]ishika_23FDS Newbie[S] 11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
He wasn't masculine enough to carry that
[–]adertinaFDS Newbie31 points32 points33 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
despite my issues with my ex, she always brought tennis shoes when i wore heels when I forgot to and always had like extra sweaters, facial wipes, sanitizer and tissues on hand. What’s sad is this is a woman who literally could care less abt me and my feelings which is why I’m single and she still had like basics on hand for anyone, i feel lesbians should teach men ground level human decency ffs this is pathetic
[–]jelilikinsFDS Newbie32 points33 points34 points 5 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
I think it's really nice - he's even carrying her shoes for her. Surprised at some of the naysaying!
[+]adertinaFDS Newbie-7 points-6 points-5 points 5 years ago* (8 children) | Copy Link
it’s the implication that this is more than the bare requirement of human decency
edit: for real, if i went to my other lesbian friends and said “she’s so sweet she let me wear her sweater, etc” they would think something is wrong bc im over romanticizing basic human empathy
[–]SuperbHalfFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
I tend to agree. My Long Term boyfriend was many things, but he was always kind and considerate. I could always tell that he cared about me as a person - and so, I have normal expectations from someone who wants me as their life 'partner'. Since so many men are disappointments, normal behavior gets overplayed and no one cares when woman are consistent about it.
My boyfriend was, at the very least, consistent about his concern for my safety and well-being. He was also consistently the same with other women, but I was fine with that, because it really did come from a place of caring. He fully understood the dangers we face.
It was something that I took for granted and realize he was exceptional in that way - but it should be normal at the same time. Men should have that common decency for the women he passes.
For the most part, I don't even trust men do care when we are harassed brazenly. I don't think they care in general when we are in pain or having a hard time. I think they use it for brownie points later, keeping track like some sort of stamp card.
[–]adertinaFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago* (5 children) | Copy Link
Im not saying this particular male is lv, he looks well dressed, he’s pretty attractive, in shape and his clothes look expensive and current just he’s being praised for the wrong thing here. You should take that for granted, and your ex didn’t impress you other men disappointed you imo.
I agree that it’s for brownie points, and I really feel like I’m getting downvoted bc i dont give guys leeway when they’re not gross looking, as I’m fortunately not attracted to them. I by no means am against having a bit of a sliding scale for attractiveness and wealth, just for the culture I think we need to reiterate this is base behavior. One time my ex forgot her purse and I didn’t have tampons on me and she was mad bc i knew she was in her period. And she was absolutely right to be mad, I had no reason to be unprepared and inconsiderate like that. That to me is normal, if I had them it’s nothing but if I didn’t it’s a big deal, I just want men to be held to the same standards we are
[–]SuperbHalfFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
My previous relationship was my only relationship because he was the only one I really wanted to take a chance on, but he has passed away and his death was sudden and violent, so I don't wish to discuss that. Assessing the worth of someone who is no longer here doesn't really sit right with me, but I do know that he had a kindness that other men lack as a whole 'gender'.
I don't give men much leeway either. I am mostly impressed by men who can shut up and get out of my way but also know how to handle his fair share. Finding someone without any negative traits is impossible, we are all flawed, but I can give credit to attributes I find most appealing. I never felt unsafe with my boyfriend. I cannot say that about 99% of men I meet. I like it when men do show these attributes, but he has to be consistent.
I learned a lot from that relationship, but I learned a lot more observing others.
I am not sure that I agree with your second point, though. I understand why she was upset and maybe you could have thought ahead, but it was an accident. She left her purse and was just as unprepared. The better compromise would have been run into a store real quick and buy some - assuming there was a store nearby.
And I was the person who would get pissy if something happened and the other person could have had agency to prevent it. I regret that portion of my life, because it put me in a position where I forfeited accountability and also placed blame on an innocent party, both straining my relationship with this person and making her feel bad. I did this for years to my mom and I deeply regret it; probably other people and sometimes my boyfriend. I try not to do it anymore.
[–]adertinaFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Sorry to hear that :(
And we eventually went into a cvs to buy some but she was completely not at fault, if we both left our stuff it would be a different story of being both forgetting things but I was prepared for me and I didn’t consider her. It’s one thing to forget something but another to not consider it at all, so I was low value but learned from it.
And I don’t think it’s pissy to expect your partner to consider you constantly, if it’s not like you want a 10k watch or something and are throwing a tantrum
It should be assumed and expected to be considered imo and hvm can be praised for many things just being considerate and nice aren’t among them as those are free and low effort traits
[–]SuperbHalfFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
It's okay. Time is healing my wounds, but I also know what a good man looks like. For me, men are competing with a ghost - literately, a ghost. I would probably settle down with another woman, if I met the right partner. I'm having an easier time relating with women lately. Not to mention, they are prettier. Much much prettier.
|| but I was prepared for me and I didn’t consider her. It’s one thing to forget something but another to not consider it at all, so I was low value but learned from it.
I see your point now. It's hard to fully picture scenarios with limited information. I just know I lash out unfairly sometimes, and I am not sure that I would fully fault you for that in a clear state of mind. But, you have learned something from that experience and will care in the future.
There's a difference between kindness and niceness, too. Genuine kindness is very rare, I think. People can be nice - kind people act because they don't like seeing others suffer. Nice people are either civil or wanting something, lol. A tad cynical, but... well...
[–]adertinaFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yes!! Absolutely women are like absolutely better in every way and I’m happy to see anyone who could go either prioritize dating women! That’s much rarer than I feel it should be like when I have bad breakups and dish w my straight friends and they share their bad breakup stories it makes me feel extremely privileged.
To me it’s always important to not take yelling personally if it’s from a woman, we don’t yell to create fear we yell bc we don’t feel respected or heard. So having her yell at me abt that is imo 100% the right thing to do, we eventually broke up bc she wasnt taking me seriously and she stole a lot so like she lied to cover that up for whatever reason. But never feel like you have to be chill when your comfort and voice is at stake, if a partner can’t handle you complaining when you’re not considered or heard then they aren’t right for you
[–]SuperbHalfFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I take women more seriously now. The entire journey of realizing how much more I have in common with other women, how much more attractive I find them, and how better our hobbies align has been an eye opener. This last year or two has especially made me realize I would be happier with a partner who is a woman.
And yeah, I tend to give women a little more slack now. I know that society really doesn't, we've ingrained ourselves to be slaves and receive no credit because it's 'normal work'.
And I do agree. I complained and broke down in front of my long term partner. He never took it the wrong way. I think sometimes he just didn't know what to do... Our entire relationship was rocky because we were both pretty broke and that led to security problems just with finance. I was young and I can't say if I'd do it again, knowing what I do now, but I can't really say I regretted it. I wouldn't go for a man who couldn't afford living again, though. I got lucky that he had wonderful personality traits, but there was a downside of he could not provide for me. That is water under the bridge now, though. But would not do it again since I see where the road leads us. Who knows, I just bought a house, maybe if he was still living you'd find me eventually on Breaking Moms or something. It's really hard to say this about people who've passed, so I will just let it go.
Going back to your point (I derailed, sorry) women are often silenced, ignored, and our pain is normalized. The men who can see this are on the right track. But I see women excelling and I am part of discord chats primarily women dominated. Their lives are so much more interesting and vibrant. And we all do break down and have our moments, so it's hard to judge based on one isolated incident where you do feel like you could have stepped up but failed. The ... stealing and lying is something else, but that is your experience so I am sure you know how you feel about it.
[–]adertinaFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
damn i should grow a dick so women will praise me for something that’s just expected of me right now
[–]Elegant-StopFDS Newbie44 points45 points46 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Better than nothing but I’d rather date a guy who calls us an Uber when my feet hurt instead
[–]Buckley92FDS Apprentice20 points21 points22 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I'd be concerned about him getting his feet cut with glass or a used needle or getting a bee sting or spider bite. Even stepping on a stray rusty nail could require a tetanus shot. Also, if he's taking you shopping, a lot of places have long-standing 'no shirt, no shoes, no service' policies, so you'd probably get turned away from lots of places.
[–]Pudding5050FDS Newbie12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Why would they go shopping like this? Seems like a strange assumption to me. I would think they're heading home.
[–]PottyMouthxFDS Newbie15 points16 points17 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I don't think it's basic kindness to give our shoes to someone who (probably knowingly) wore uncomfortable ones.
But hey, whatever works for you ;)
[–][deleted] 10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If I wear heels I know that I'm agreeing to a certain degree of suffering. 😅 I expect the person I'm with to listen to my complaining but this, this is top tier
[–]Whateverbabe2FDS Apprentice5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This definitely surpasses basic kindness. I would not do this for a random person (basic kindness) only for friends that I am close to and family.
[–]moon-drag0nFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes this a kind gesture, not many men would do this.
But, just by judging from the picture (because that's all information we have), the shoes in his hand they don't seem to be broken; she chose to wear those uncomfortable shoes. He probably even said to her when she put them on "Honey didn't you say those shoes make your feet hurt?" "Nah it will be fine." (I know because I have had this exact same conversation with my bf). Now he has to walk barefoot in a city just because she couldn't make a better decision on what shoe to wear.
[–]laughingatsaladFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Depends on the weather/temperature
[–]idiopathictendenciesFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Basic kindness. My BF did the same for me one night.
[–]rosyrosessFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
He could wear the heels
[–]FabulousGrandFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Really wish I hadn't seen this post on MGTOW and read the comments over there...
[–]Noemie_MathildeFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I think it's basic kindness from a man you're dating. I have had men do this for me and always appreciated it.
[–]wavesandteaFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Wow I got punched with reality just seeing this. This LV husband of mines would probably say “why did you even wear them, can you walk faster?” And keep walking. Jerk.
[–]ntlvit2f8FDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Basic kindness for sure.
[–]carachuFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My ex man used to do this for me, it seems like a basic thing if you care about someone and their feet kill. Ive done it for friends before
[–]posprovFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
An expectation
[+][deleted] 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]adertinaFDS Newbie-2 points-1 points0 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
he’s showing off to other women who might not know better bc all the men they been with wouldnt even do this, if she had flip flops no one would know he did anything
[–]kittypoisonFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I would do this for my sibling or close friend. Most men just aren't compassionate
[–]Pudding5050FDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Why would this gets laughed at? Any dude whose friends laugh at this needs to befriend fucking grown-ups. And any dude who's too afraid of getting laughed at to be nice to his partner is a fucking waste of space.
[–]heleninthealpsFDS Apprentice11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
We dont wear heels because a man pressures us to. We wear it because we walk better, taller and feel more confident in them.
This couple look like they are in the same height, so don't think the guy made her feel like she should wear heels...
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[–]Orphanedpinkpetals161 points162 points163 points (6 children) | Copy Link
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[removed]
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[–]adertinaFDS Newbie31 points32 points33 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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