I was always a bitchy girl, in the Why Men Love Bitches way, so it astounds me how much my mindset has changed since FDS. The instant I hear one red flag, it’s like I can see fields of them. Here are two examples I’ve seen recently. I was watching some stand-up by Gabriel Iglesias (Fluffy). It was interesting, so I watched a few. he keeps talking about his girlfriend and her son who he calls his stepson! I could see the red flags unfurling like banners in the wind. Long story short, this dude is 45, been with the woman 10+ years and obviously has not married her. Now here’s where it gets interesting. He says in one special, a lot of people keep asking him about the gf, what is she like. He starts describing her. Now, for those who aren’t familiar with his work, he’s a huge dude who makes a lot of jokes about being “Fluffy”, overeating, and not fitting in places. So one of the first things people ask him is is his girl fluffy, too. When I tell you he was VEHEMENT in saying No. She’s small. He was also pretty insistent on sharing that she’s white-passing, though she’s Mexican like him. Pause. It was clear by the way he said all this, these characteristics, her relative smallness and lightness compared to him, were important to him. Red flags. So he makes all these jokes in all his specials about family life and being a dad and his girl. He wants to capitalize on the imagery of a family man. And it worked. He signed fat contracts with ABC and then Netflix to produce and star in sitcoms as himself. But he clearly has no intention of marrying this forever gf. You can tell not just from the timeline, but the “jokes” he makes. He acknowledges she’s one of the main underpinnings of his successful, stable life; she keeps everything going, she makes sure he doesn’t drink too much, organizes his life, and provides value in every way. But he’s quite consciously keeping it loose. He’s not proposing, not adopting the son, not having children of his own with her, keeping his hands empty so he can walk out at a moment’s notice. And what’s so crazy about that, is he’s open about her being “above” him in the hierarchy in his mind. She’s smaller, more desirable, etc. But he is still refusing to commit. LVM will always try to extract your labor for free, even if you're what they claim to want, their ideal.

Similar thing with Dancing With the Stars. Everyone was going crazy over Derek Hough and his gf, Hayley Erbert, dancing this week. Well, they mentioned having met on the show in 2015! Red flag. So they’ve been dating six years. Red flag. People were asking Derek when he was going to propose, he kept dodging the question. Red flag. She looked so young, I looked up their ages. She’s 27, he’s 36. So when they started dating he was over 30 and she was 21, at the most. RED FLAG. This guy is handsome and seems sweet. I always enjoyed him on DWTS. But that’s what I love about FDS. It’s equal opportunity. It shows the true nature of all LVM equally, no matter how they appear.