I have, Jack of course, late second husband. There were many green flags as I got to know him, so in no particular order:

-- first of all, he had married later in life the first time, after working hard to become a professor;

-- he had lived on his own a long time before he married his first wife;

-- he had hobbies and interests to keep him occupied;

-- he kept whatever place he lived in tidy and relatively neat (despite being a bit of a packrat, the man was nuts for VHS, then CDs, DVDs)

-- he had a lot of books but kept them all organized by subject, and dusted, because they weren't just for looks, they were his tools as a professor;

-- he had a proper bed, towels, sheets, clothes;

-- he kept his kitchen neat and tidy, and for years and years loved to cook (and cooked well!);

-- he wanted to find love, but also knew that if he didn't, he was well able to support himself;

-- he had parted as friends with all the women he had dated (which impressed me, he was one of the kindest people I've ever met); many of those women he stayed in contact with as a friend;

-- he was held in high esteem by his colleagues and all friends;

-- he fit in with everyone, knew how to read signals, could chat with anyone about anything, and was unfailingly polite;

-- he was welcoming to anyone who wanted to be a friend, but had his own standards, and if someone didn't measure up, he would just withdraw slowly, never ghost, or have a direct conversation about what was a problem, try to solve if, then fade gently.

I look forward to hearing your stories of HVM doing well on their own, being self-sufficient, and being good human beings.