The older I get, the more I consider questions about my love life to be invasive. Inevitably, when I see a friend or relative for the first time in a while, they always ask "Are you seeing anyone special?" or some variation. When I say no, then I get unsolicited puppy dog eyes and an "Oh, you'll meet someone!" Especially in 2022 for some reason, it has gotten really old, really fast.

I'm sick of it. This is on the same level of privacy invasion as asking newlyweds when they are having a kid, when a family with one kid is having a second, how someone's marriage is overall, etc. You have a right to privacy about your dating life and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I think at least for those asking me about dating, they mean well and think it's a fun, neutral topic to discuss...but it's not.

So in case any of you need help with this, I put together a list of polite responses to deflect these questions and keep your dating life private. This will help you level up because then you won't feel anxiety or like you are put on the spot having to justify your singledom. (Not everyone suffers anxiety about this, but for those of us who do...it can feel like game over whenever this happens or we are caught off guard with it)

Ways to answer "Have you met anyone yet?" or similar:

  1. Thanks for asking! I don’t discuss that topic, but...smile and insert something interesting you've done recently
  2. I appreciate that you are thinking of me like that, but I keep my dating life private. Then, smile and ask the person a fun, relaxed question about themselves.
  3. I can't wait to tell you all about it when I have met someone, but in the meantime I've...smile and share other accomplishments or goals you have met
  4. I'm glad you asked, but I prefer not to share at this time. Then smile and change the subject.

Take note of smiling when responding! This will put the other person at ease and hopefully prevent them from apologizing for asking when it's not really necessary.

To take this a step further: ahead of a social event where you might get questions like this, prep a list mentally of other conversation topics to use with the above - perhaps three interesting things you've been up to, three possible questions to ask others, and 1-2 recent accomplishments you are proud of.

I haven't found similar tips anywhere - unless I've been searching the internet incorrectly - so I hope this helps somebody!