How would anyone consider these red flags?

FreshStarter0 · 2021-04-24T19:00:31+00:00

Holy crap. This is the reality of the world we live in. Women being worried for their safety and looking for red flags to spot predators before it's too late, while a dude thinks that succulents or toe rings are red flags (and I personally have neither).

Red flags are literally the signs we look for to protect ourselves from dangerous or toxic situations. A dude that lists a ton of women's personal choices/interests that have nothing to do with a partner as "red flags" is literally a walking red flag that will criticize you over everything.

The only thing that could fit the bill for a red flag is the part about making jokes about your messed-up mental health, especially to people you don't know well.

lucidlotus · 2021-04-24T19:45:53+00:00

This sounds like he's just naming things about a specific woman he no longer likes...

UraniumGoddess · 2021-04-24T18:59:22+00:00

Men’s criticisms of women are petty and involve minutiae.

“She hasn’t seen Star Wars and she likes Captain Marvel! Run!”

His comment about sense of humour is telling too. What he means is that she must laugh at his jokes, which are probably all sexist, racist and derogatory towards others.

Seriously, his concerns are trivial compared to those of women.

And if MRAs were right, that men experience as much or more domestic violence than women, you’d think some of his red flags would at least be indicators of a propensity for violence.

Either-Extent-3997 · 2021-04-24T19:08:33+00:00

adds learn to ride horses to my to-do list

gcthwy · 2021-04-24T21:16:48+00:00

So... having a personality or hobbies that isn’t just an extension of his own? Got it.

doorknocking101 · 2021-04-24T19:13:44+00:00

This is such a bizarre fucking list.

And as a former horse girl, the amount of boys and men who have ridiculed me for it is astonishing. For the most part, however, it seems to stem from their fear of horses, just as I think a lot of these “red-flags” come from a fear of women being powerful or self-possessed.

-pop-fizz-clink · 2021-04-24T19:31:04+00:00

Hi! Retired equestrian here. I'm chiming in on the if she rides horses because now it's personal. 😂 The two reasons men have created the "crazy horse chick" trope.

1) we are not afraid of you. Us. (The crazy horse chicks)

I tell 1200lb + animals to get out of my way, I tell them what to do, what not to do and when. Both parties have zero qualms with this. No means no to my hooved buddies and I do not accept their disrespect so I sure as fuck am not going to accept any shit from a 200 lb man. Horses deeply understand mutual respect - something that male humans need to work towards (ya know, being national r@pe day, and all). Riding and being around horses AND other farm animals does nothing but good for girls and women and instills confidence. Which men hate.

2) some of us come from or have seen/been exposed to old money. Sometimes new money. But money. Yeah not all of us are wealthy who partake in this sport and I know a lot of horse-poor folks who are amazing but are having a hard time (especially now). When you're exposed to a certain lifestyle there are men who will prey on you (actual golddiggers, not just a dude who wants a frEe MeAl) or, they'll use you for your connections. My favorite of all though, is negging for being a "horse chick" or a "crazy horse girl" and then asking in the same breath "so do u hav ur own hrose?" (" No I do not why?" Should always be your answer even if you have 36 purebred fresians that Elizabeth herself rides/drives).

Not only can I help a Cyldesdale, a Belgian, Dutch WB, a mini horse, a thoroughbred to learn how not to crowd a human, I can also enforce it in a way that teaches them manners, Ina gentle thoughtful way that makes them think. Something most parents shoulda taught their damn sons.

We put up with very little. We're not crazy. We just don't tolerate your crap. And yeah, some equestrians have bank. Most don't and spend a large portion of their income on their passion.

It's the same as when a man of any size, has a much taller man come up to him. The respect (* fear) is there. It's clear. Ask your next man if he's afraid of horses, it's very very telling what it says about their empathy and confidence. ("They're just so big" okay so why is that scary. "Because they're so strong" they are, but they're very kind most of the time and are very patient. "What if it bites me" are you doing something to it that requires that defensive action? Sure some horses have issues but I've only been bit twice.

Why I don't tell men or indicate when I was on old, that I was an equestrian: - immediate assumptions of wealth. Asking me where I rode and with whom (like I'm giving out that info). - always, ALWAYS making my sport sexual. "I bet you have strong thighs hehehe" - this one shows they don't know anything about riding, you don't hang on with your thighs. Very common misconception. "what else do you like to ride" "bet you haven't ridden this big lol" "you look like you're good at riding" - straight up negging "lol didn't see u ride, turnoff. Crazy horse girl lol" - "oh god one of those crazy horse chicks" to which I reply "hahah for sure I could totally make it look like an accident. 🙂 Take care!"

Translation : you deal with large powerful animals, vagina haver, and that makes my very important pee pee feel small. You're not afraid of me and I can't intimdate you using my (likely) larger size. Wah! Also I can't afford to pay for your new helmet or boots let alone a trailer, show fees, the carries, board, the vet, etc and now I feel all mad an unimportant grrrrrrr111!1!1!1 😡 you'd rather muck ten stalls than go to burger king with me and that makes you a mean nasty femc€l golddigging whoree reeeeeeeeeeee *screaming intensifies and the horses get spooked and Kyle get trampled by a stampede of concerned horses looking for their mumma (me)"

Edit: explanation : *Maybe some of us fear men, the way men fear horses. Horses don't go looking to cause hurt and pain and most of the defensive actions are only fear based. Anyone who knows horses knows what I mean. They need a lot of love when coming out of an abusive space. They are terrifying when they are terrified. Therein lies the difference.

DancingCatflower · 2021-04-24T19:23:12+00:00

Oh, sounds like an acute case of MISOGYNY, what a surprise lmao

Emergency-Feed8216 · 2021-04-24T22:35:10+00:00

I agree about Grey's Anatomy because it's the origin of PickMe-ism (seriously: https://youtu.be/ax4Hu1zuGkI). But the rest is huh?

Comprehensive-Day959 · 2021-04-25T00:06:22+00:00

Today I was this many years old when I found out that men don’t know what the term “red flags” means. 🤦🏽‍♀️

Jaelismyhomegirl · 2021-04-24T21:26:17+00:00

Here’s me, taking notes to present myself as all of these, so scrotes leave me alone

Jezebel143 · 2021-04-25T06:38:36+00:00

Ladies: I don’t have a TikTok account so not sure how to get the word out, but your links have your real name and picture attached that can be used to doxx you. OP, please consider taking down this video for your own safety.

Big-Respond8481 · 2021-04-25T13:02:01+00:00

"Red flags" of men-more like: "these are a list of things I am not interested in"

Red flags of women: Behaviour that makes it more possible for him to be a rapist pedo or serial killer.

Title	How would anyone consider these red flags?
Author	the-worst-
Upvotes	37
Comments	38
Date	April 24, 2021 6:48 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/mxq8gf/how_would_anyone_consider_these_red_flags/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/how-would-anyone-consider-these-red-flags.761342 https://theredarchive.com/post/761342

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