I’m just learning this exact lesson! OP is wise in her ways. Where are you ladies on differentiating the two?

Ka_Tetof99 · 2020-05-16T06:08:26+00:00

“Somebody wanting to fuck you is not a compliment” is the biggest takeaway from my first relationship.

Sreshme · 2020-05-16T05:18:31+00:00

Had this happened recently. Told I was exactly like how he imagined his partner would be. Told he liked me. Didn’t stop talking to me. When I asked what are we( Ladies I learnt from FDS if they are serious they’ll make that move) he said he is not ready for commitment. A grown ass man of 27 years said he isn’t ready for commitment and he has commitment issues 🙄

throwaway-786786 · 2020-05-16T06:09:59+00:00

It's pretty easy to tell the difference to be honest.

A guy who finds you attractive but doesn't like you will focus on your looks. His compliments will only be about physical characteristics. When you talk to him, it doesn't seem like he's interested in what you're saying. Most of the time they're just waiting until you're done talking. He doesn't ask for your opinion because he is not interested in it.

A guy who finds you attractive AND is interested in you will enjoy talking to you. He enjoys spending time with you in non-sexual contexts. His compliments may be about physical attributes, but he'll also compliment you on your intellect, or your accomplishments, or how you handled certain situations. He asks you what you think of x, y, z because he's curious about how your mind works and what your values are.

mightbethrowawayyy · 2020-05-16T05:01:46+00:00

True! Attraction ain’t worth shit. Especially attraction from men is low value and abundant, like dicks and like men themselves

BrooklynBabe33 · 2020-05-16T09:35:04+00:00

Men are shameless

They need us and sex more than we need them. It’s nothing for them to say and do anything for sex.

It is up to us to be discerning. Not easy but there it is.

themissdaydreamer · 2020-05-16T10:44:04+00:00

a while ago someone here posted a great post on how straight men being sexually attracted to women but not liking us as individual people at the same time. it's something that I always sensed in my relationships but I never put in these words, I used to say "he loves being a relationship with me but doesn't really care about me as a person".

how can you tell mere attraction and actually liking you apart?

a guy who's just attracted to you will say things like "I like you because you make me feel good" and similar rants about HIS feelings, preferences and emotions. he'll never say he likes your intelligence, sensitivity, creativity or even sense of humor, because he doesn't care. he doesn't actually like you, he likes the emotional high you gave him.

a guy who likes you as a person will be interested in things related to you that don't benefit him directly, if at all, genuinely. he'll support your personal projects, listen to you talking on your favorite topics, he'll compliment you on your qualities and be specific when doing so (saying "you're amazing" doesn't count if he can't tell what makes you amazing).

disclaimer: to be honest I never had a guy to be attracted to me and like me as a person at the same. the guy who supports me and cares about me the most doesn't see me as a woman (romantically and sexually, I mean). I know other men who feel both for their partners but in my personal case it's been mutually exclusive, so you can take my opinion with a grain of salt.

BasieSkanks · 2020-05-16T06:14:52+00:00

I think the Porsche Cayenne is a very beautiful car. That doesn’t mean I would want to buy one and be responsible for its upkeep and maintenance. Attention from men is the same thing. It’s cheap, and, in most cases, completely worthless.

spreadmywings89 · 2020-05-16T07:02:10+00:00

Yup, it's fuck up how dirtbag men really know how to pull women's hearts strings and drop you like a sac of potatoes. Then left wondering why, which is why I'm not emotionally invested in any men at first. Especially men I find attractive I been burn before by this bullshit (being ghost out of nowhere) and I never put myself in this position again.

Novemberinthechair · 2020-05-16T09:44:15+00:00

The OP is describing my college years. Icky as fuck. And disturbing.

2020-05-16T12:17:01+00:00

And also, men often find women attractive when they find you available. Being seen as available is not a compliment.

she_is_munchkins · 2020-05-16T11:40:19+00:00

Oh yeah definitely. There's a difference between "you're so beautiful" and "I love how you're so into (insert true fact about you), and the way you (insert another unique fact about you)"

xxritualhowelsxx · 2020-05-16T16:23:35+00:00

This happened to me earlier this year. This guy has been perusing me for over two years. I was bored and finally said, okay let’s go on a day date. The entire time he’s bragging about how much money he makes and the thousands he has invested in oil stocks (huge turn off). What was surprising was when we grabbed lunch, mine being only $12, he didn’t even offer to pay. I’ve ghosted him since. If you can’t drop $12 on a first date that says a lot

HolyCatatoe · 2020-05-16T14:39:33+00:00

I've had to learn this lesson a few times. Attraction and lust does not equal care, respect or love.

gabriellita · 2020-05-16T15:24:04+00:00

I wish I knew this before I started college. I went to an all-girl school for seven years so when I finally got to college, I was so naive and innocent about guys and relationships. It is a blessing and a curse. The important thing is now I know though. Have a great day ladies <3

balladwilds · 2020-05-16T12:46:10+00:00

This is so true ! they don't respect women they want to have sex with. Even if they do it will only be for a short while until they 'get it' and leave.. sexual comments and physical compliments (only) early on are very telling

Title	I’m just learning this exact lesson! OP is wise in her ways. Where are you ladies on differentiating the two?
Author	WTFseriouslyWTH
Upvotes	678
Comments	46
Date	May 16, 2020 4:42 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/gkoqes/im_just_learning_this_exact_lesson_op_is_wise_in/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/im-just-learning-this-exact-lesson-op-is-wise-in.676030 https://theredarchive.com/post/676030

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