Ladies!

Why are men insecure? They may be insecure about their height, their appearance. Their career, their family relationships, their lack of friendships. Many men are insecure about how much money women make versus them. Many men are insecure about how hard women work compared to them. Many men are insecure and jealous of other men. Men are walking networks of insecurity. I have met way more insecure men than women. Women are forced to look at horrible airbrushed images that claim to be women in social media, modern cinema, art etc and at some point, most women accept that they aren't perfect, oh well, love it or leave it. Men struggle to reach this mental /emotional / social acceptance.

Like FDS says, we are not Barb the builder. We do NOT date down. An insecure man will not benefit from you "giving him a chance" or thinking "he's nice, it's ok!" NO.

A man's insecurity will creep into your relationship and destroy it. What does his insecurity look like?

  • Negging - everything from slights about the career you worked hard for to time spent with your family. Why would he care to neg you if he is your equal, your partner? He is not your equal if he negs. He's an insecure failure. Run away.
  • Cheating - men regularly admit the reason they are unfaithful is because they feel insecure and need the validation cheating brings. If you are cheated on, know it is not your fault. An insecure man is a wrecking ball and you were an innocent bystander.
  • Constant fears / paranoia
  • Having opinions about bizarre, none of his business shit like how you dress
  • No friends - he's too volatile to make friends, nobody likes him
  • No hobbies or interests
  • Jealousy
  • Random accusations - "you still talk to your exes!" "You're still in love with your high school boyfriend!"
  • Gaslighting
  • Projection - what he accuses you of ("you're insecure!") he actually is.
  • Constantly seeking validation - chasing thirst traps for recognition, constantly on social media looking to boost his followers, compliment fishing etc
  • Threats - threatening to leave, wanting you to beg him to stay
  • Stalking / Surveillance - looking at your phone, looking at your social media, wanting to know where you were at various points of the day etc.
  • No self-confidence
  • Constant comparisons to others
  • Overthinking
  • Can't take constructive criticism - spins it back onto you

YOU CANNOT FIX AN INSECURE MAN. No one can. That process is totally internal to the man. No amount of sweet words and time spent will help him. An insecure man will destroy your relationship before you even know what is going on. Avoid insecure men as they are one problem linked to a myriad of others.