Keep Men At A Distance Because False Intimacy Creates Trust.

Last year I hit a rough patch and starting living with roommates. One of them was a LVM who bragged about never going to therapy, never crying, watching porn, and just being an all-star misogynistic piece of shit😒. Although I found him utterly repulsive, we shared a living space. He was friends with my friends, so we spent more time together than I liked. I told our pickme friends about his negging and obvious red flags, but apparently I needed to lower my standards and see what a good guy he was🤡

Thankfully I moved out after 4 months, but during that time there were no boundaries. He knew I loathed him so he'd purposefully provoke me. I began to minimize his behavior and even started tagging along when my roommates went out.

Ladies, keep men AT A DISTANCE until you've vetted them for a considerable amount of time. False intimacy starts with:

1. Dates that are too long. Don't spend hours with men you've only known for 3 months. Don't go extra places after the initial lunch/dinner. Leave after 1 hour or so.

2. Getting in men's cars. I trusted my abusive ex way more than I should've because he had control over where we went. I needed him to get home. I couldn't leave when I was in danger.

3. Having LVM friends. If you spend time with LVM or the pickme's that entertain LVM, you'll start to trust them. They'll be in your inner circle. Removing them will be doubly hard considering you don't have a clean getaway.

4. Sharing Personal Information. Don't let skid mark Kyle become your confidant. Don't talk with him about situations that make you vulnerable. Yes, a certain degree of vulnerability is required in relationships. But remember that you barely know a person after 5 months.

5. Physical Touch. I use/prefer non-sexual affection with family and trusted friends (i.e. hugging, relaxing on their shoulder). If you just met him, don't touch him. And immediately leave if he tries to touch you without consent.

6. Sex. If you've spent hours with a LVM, sex appears to be a minor, low-risk experience. I've mentioned this last because 1-5 lead to 6. Don't downplay how time/energy influences trust.

Feel free to add anything.